Blood Mother

Sightseeing - Session Summaries List

Hello friends, welcome back to another episode of Sailing Around for Funsies! Chaos continues to ensue in the form of rebellious dice, Wendy bloops, Truth or Dare, and Peaceful Church visits that are less peaceful for some.

So... on a scale of 1 to 10, how much fun are we actually having? Wendy gives this a solid 7 stars on Yelp.

The To-Do List of the Night:

1. Casually wipe out an entire Sleepy Turtle Civilization– wait, never mind, let’s not.
2. Meet-n-Greet with a Sea Elf?
3. Hunker down for a Hurricane.
4. Play Truth or Dare.
5. Cruise onto some grey-looking beach.
6. Find a church and have dinner with the Churchy Folk.

• After dosages of Zaratan and Pirate Guardian, Vee takes the wheel to get a move on. Except she’s all out of sorts, so we almost run over the tail and make history out of an entire village living on that Sleepy Turtle thing. Yeah… let’s not try to past-tense innocent people, please?
• Glimber’s like “it must be from all that smooching she’s been doing with that shady Sky Pirate guy”, but only Zora gets to laugh because it’s in Gnomish. Tempe secretly wants to see Zora spin the wheel like it’s her birthday. Fortunately, Lirt wakes from a good night’s rest and… wait wait wait, back the heck up, that was definitely not a good night’s rest.
• Fortunately, Lirt’s Seamanship is intact. So we… sail around the Sleepy Turtle thing? Can a girl hope that Bob was a little bit generous to his NPCs? Maybe, but don’t hope too hard, because you’ll jinx it. Roth tries for some positivity by jamming out. He gets too into it and nearly rips out everyone’s eardrums… including that of the Grumpy Dead Man. You know your bard ain’t barding when his music makes a ghost wants to yeet himself out of existence.
• After another Pirate-to-Pirate Yelling Match, we try to get moving. Emphasis on try because Roth is the only one whose arms are functioning enough. At least he has that. Mel picks up an oar to try and help. His muscles say HECK to the NO. Yep. Those are definite signs. Either we’re all cursed, or the Universe is telling us to stay the heck home.
• For once, Vee takes the Signs from the Universe and decides to take a break. The salt in her blood is sensing a storm on the radar, which Wendy experiences in real time just an hour or two, and then Carissa a bit after that. We credit Bob the Storm King. Anyways… let’s just… anchor in that channel over there and hope we survive?
• What do we do to pass the time, though? Glimber remembers playing Truth or Dare. Everyone remembers having fun. Vee remembers how badly she wanted to stab someone, which isn’t anything new. Tempe has nothing in her memory banks, but takes a look at Zora’s dreamy expression and guesses that Hieroman was there for it. (Yeah… Wendy still doesn’t remember, when the heck did this happen?)
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: …A Voice.
    • Notes: She is allegedly a Sea Elf.
• Said Sea Elf is here to scope us out. We’re directly on top of her fishing spot, apparently, and she was concerned that a ship was parked when a storm was brewing. Also… she’s keeping an eye out for hunters. Apparently, their Sea Elf Magic is in high demand. We promise not to mess up her food source.
  • Hello Adventurers! You have earned… A Black Urchin.
    • Notes: Inside, there are venom glands, some meat, and 4 gems.
    • Other Notes: Roth pockets the 4 gems. No one says anything. Payment for his labor?
• Cooking and casual threats of poisoning later, we settle in as the storm rolls in. Passed Captain Werner’s yelling his head off, which makes Tempe remember that he passed away in a hurricane. Oof. She’d talk if the ghost listened to her, but… well, she needs to study more to help him find peace. So for now, he’s stuck and we’re stuck with him.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have commenced Rounds of… Truth or Dare.
    • Notes: Mel drinks a weird concoction, the Tickle Dance is invented, Vee goes silent for 1 minute, Tempe attempts to juggle fish, and Ghost Man gets to tell his story.
    • Other Notes: Refer to chat logs for the full details.
• Good morning, merry sunshine! Rejoice, for we are all alive. No one checks to see if the Zartan is still there, so whether the villagers on top of it are alive or not... remains a mystery. We see a beach and decide to check it out. Look! There are lights from that tall building. The universal saying is “don’t go into the light”, but… well, in this case we’re not dead, so we should be fine.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: … a person.
    • Notes: Krart Woodleg
    • Other Notes: He speaks like what you imagine a whale would, with immensely elongated syllables. He earns a silver coin from Tempe because she feels awkward not paying him for his services.
• Guy says the lit-up building is the island’s Church. Nice. Let’s go check it out.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: … another person.
    • Notes: Diorsex Trinketmake, from Zora’s observations, looks like a Priest.
• Great! We want to go to the Church. Zora takes over to speak with the Churchy Folk. They speak about getting her a new icon for her promotion to Senior Inspector, and then Priest leads us up to his Church.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: … a Priestess.
    • Notes: Sriogz Trinketmake, aka Sunrise, because titles are long and I’d rather not.
    • Other Notes: Wendy realizes at this moment that Priest and Priestess share a last name. How I did not notice this during the session… don’t ask. Maybe my social battery died.
• Anyways, the Priests are nice! They set up some food, and Zora gets to tell what we encountered on our Adventures. She talks about Julia, and the Priest is sad that the previous Priest on Angler has passed on. There’s also some joking that is still flying way over Wendy’s head, so just... read the chat logs if you want to know. As lodging is set up for the night, they ask where we’re heading to next. Vee divulges that we’ll make a pit-stop to Osterhold so that Tempe and Zora can report back to the Cathedral.
• Next Episode: Cathedral? Osterhold? More Exploring? Where Vee goes? Who knows.

Quotes of the Night

BOB I am not a creep!
wyjyoon (Temperance): Hm... I don't know you well enough to agree or disagree :P
BOB LOL

wyjyoon (Temperance): googling halfing
TMO (Rothuss Carder): they were originally called hobbits, but the Tolkien Estate yelled at them.

BOB RUNS over the tail, causing the Zartan to submerge in irritation, wiping out the civilization on the shell that has lived there for decades

Inv Zora Polasis: [SKILL] Intimidation [MOD:CHA] (vs. Target 12) [SUCCESS by 5] [d20 = 7]
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): scares the ship into sailing straight

Glimber Silvernose : [Translation] Think Vee's too tired from staying up all night and kissing bad men

Werner Hertzberg, Ghost Pirate of the Grim Lady: I WOULD LIKE TO TALK AT A NORMAL.... oh what the hell

Lisa (Glimber Silvernose): welcome to the high rollers club
TMO (Rothuss Carder): to the gambling den!

BOB Should we just take it that everyone will be smelting dice every 30 minutes tonight?
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): no
Carissa (Vee Barlett): yup
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): I accept my dice and don't try to change them to suit my needs
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): pats dice
wyjyoon (Temperance): I'd probably need to restart my laptop if I tried
Carissa (Vee Barlett): i believe in corporal dice punishment
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): good little dice

Inv Zora Polasis: Everything makes you stabby
Temperance: laughs lightly.
Vee Barlett: opens her mouth to argue but can't
Rothuss Carder: True, it doesn't take much.
Vee Barlett: It a healthy copin' mechanism, I was told.
Rothuss Carder: By who? A vampire?

Sheera Nightstar: Hello there? (quietly off the bow of the lady)
Inv Zora Polasis: Who's that?
Rothuss Carder: Are you here to sell something?
Rothuss Carder: Oar-to-oar salesmen are tenacious beasts....
Sheera Nightstar: (A head pops up over the railing, a female slightly pointed ears)
Sheera Nightstar: (I am here about your extended warranty)

Glimber Silvernose: That wasn't very exciting. I was waiting for it to splatter all over the place

Rothuss Carder: shows Lirt which package the meat is in.
Rothuss Carder: Meat.
Rothuss Carder: points to the one with venom glands.
Rothuss Carder: NOT meat.
Lirtimya: So use all of that for everyone else and use those for yours?

Werner Hertzberg, Ghost Pirate of the Grim Lady: I WANT TO BE A SHIP ON THE SEAS NOT IN A STORM!
Werner Hertzberg, Ghost Pirate of the Grim Lady: WE CAN JUST SAIL AWAY! SAIL AWAY! COME SAIL AWAY WITH ME!
Vee Barlett: SHUT IT.
Vee Barlett: stomps.

Temperance: I see. And if you don't, I suppose there are consequences?
Vee Barlett: Yeah. I probably stab ya or somethin'
Rothuss Carder: So, just like any other day
Temperance: Oh no, not the stabbing.
Temperance: smiles with mirth.

Carissa (Vee Barlett): (it's hard to think of something,lol)
wyjyoon (Temperance): it's hard to think tbh

MeLange: whose ticklish whose ticklish!
MeLange: hehe, nobody can resist the tickles

TMO (Rothuss Carder): Mel gets a ghost of his own

wyjyoon (Temperance): I casually forget that Glimber and Zora are both played by Lisa
wyjyoon (Temperance): and now I just imagine Lisa speaking to herself
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): Lisa speaks to herself often
wyjyoon (Temperance): It's ok, so does Wendy :)
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): in the 3rd person even :D

Glimber Silvernose: whispers to Zora "I think he's a ghost and he doesn't know it"

Temperance: I am thinking of visiting the Church. Do you happen to know the way there?
MeLange: I know this one…
MeLange: Faith!
Rothuss Carder: That's the boring way. Hidden away inside an empty cask of holy wine is a much better way.

BOB Showing up at Church in the evening after a storm
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): oh no we're just religious fans
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): yup
Carissa (Vee Barlett): we are?
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): just loving the churches
TMO (Rothuss Carder): hides the Go Deltan banners behind his back
Carissa (Vee Barlett): not sure even vee can fake that

Rothuss Carder: is thinking he doesn't want to touch that conversation with a 10' pole

Vee Barlett: Well these two gotta report back to the Cathedral, yeah?
Vee Barlett: And I go where I want.
MeLange: And I just follow Vee
MeLange: best way not to get stabbed is walk behind her
Glimber Silvernose: laughs
Vee Barlett: grins and winks at Mel.
Inv Zora Polasis: The Church wants you too Vee.
Vee Barlett: Yar, they can want me all they...want. I'm used to bein' wanted.
MeLange: Dead or alive

Hello friends, welcome back to another episode of Sailing Around for Funsies! The Endeavors of Climbing a Gigantic Turtle await, but we also have a run in with some Shady Sky Pirate Guy. Casual disclaimer for frequent Wendy bloops. I’m going off of chat logs for whatever I missed.

• TL;DR:

1. Picnic on the Turtle… oh shit, people live here? Let’s hang with them for a while and bounce.
2. Vee creates alliances with a Sky Pirate Guardian, who receives mixed reviews from the rest of the crowd.

• So. Everyone is mostly on board about picnicking on the… uh… Zaratan / The Sleepy Turtle Thing thanks to Mel’s lore spill.
  • How to Climb a Turtle 101.

1. Approach Sleepy Turtle Thing.
2. Acquire rope. Is there enough? Bah, who cares? Play it by ear! … no one said. It’ll be fun, no one said.

• So rope is acquired, a hook shuffles out of Tempe’s bag, Vee ties the knot, and voilà! It’s a way up. Zora wants to look before we leap, so Tempe hands her the spyglass. She looks into it and… Hey! There’s birds! Cute! Then a net shoots out of freaking nowhere and nabs the bird. Less cute. Nobody else sees it, so Zora is the only witness.
• Roth casts his floating frisbee spell to try to float up and… uh latch the hook onto… something? Except the rope isn’t long enough (as someone somewhere asked before it flushed into the void), so now Zora and Lirt just gotta latch on before the frisbee floats up without them. It’s a Trust Fall situation we didn’t expect. Zora thinks fast, latches onto the… uh, turtle shell (?), and crawls her way up like Spider Man. Lirt is left to dangle there like a rag doll, but not for long, because she pulls herself up by the bootstraps and ties her own knots. What was that saying? Lirt is better than dirt?
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: …A Voice.
    • Notes: It belongs to Darfin Bharaclaiev.
• It is a person. Nice! Wait. Why is a person living on a turtle? Are there more people? The four converse logistics of how that works. Apparently, the best scenario is if the Turtle Thing keeps sleeping and floating to… wherever.
  • Hello Adventurers! You have encountered: … more people.
    • Notes: Nyaalsir Stillhawk and Mi Gaskin.
• Another guy pops out of the bushes. Apparently his sixth sense for The Ladies activated because… uh… yeah, not gonna elaborate on his very direct advances. Another lady pops out, tells him to quiet his traphole, and casually threatens him with cannibalism like it’s a normal occurrence. The five talk about Life on the Floating Dormant Turtle and hunting stuff. You know, the usual: fish, birds, rats, small critters, mermaids— oh, that last one was an almost-oopsie. Vee would be interested, though. Meet-n-Greet, not hunting.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: … another person.
    • Notes: Jenell Hendrick.
    • Other Notes: This girl wants some freedom. It’s not a phase, dad!
• But yeah, the people are looking for metal. All we have are some Tridents that we could probably give away, under Vee’s watchful eye. It probably won’t be easy to persuade her, so the two Brain Cells decide to give it a shot. Oh wait. Two Brain Cells and one Girl Craving Adventure. Wendy loves her already. This leaves Roth to survive for a couple of minutes with Mi.
• While the two villagers distract Vee with Mermaid Sightings, Zora and Lirt go for the Tridents to trade. Unfortunately, it doesn’t distract Vee long enough, so now a disgruntled Lady of the Lady decides to join the picnic to poke around the village.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: … another person.
    • Notes: Tasar Xantrani.
• This guy is less excited about having us as guests. Which… valid. We follow in what Wendy imagines a single-file line like good little children in school and hope we’re not single-filing into a cooking pot. In the center of this village plaza thing is a ship wheel. Zora can barely contain herself. We hang out here for a bit, eating, playing music, and talking before bidding them goodbye because they’re all happy here. Safe Complacent Floating!
• As night approaches, we begin Watch Shifts a little ways away from the Sleepy Turtle Island.
  • Watch 1 → Lirt and Roth.
  • Watch 2 → Zora and Vee
  • Watch 3 → Tempe, Glimber, and Sleepy Vee.
• Wendy assumes nothing much happens on Watches 1 and 2 because Bob casually presses fast-forward. So now Watch 3! Tempe and Glimber have slept, and Vee hasn’t because she has minimal trust that we can defend her Lady while she slumbers.
• As Glimber settles and Vee rubs sleep out of her eyes, Tempe squints into the night and sees… a gigantic bird thing. Well. It looks like a gigantic bird. And by gigantic bird, I mean the wings are bigger than the ship we’re on. She’s like “uh, are y’all seeing this or am I just hallucinating?” Vee squints with her, sees it, and immediately wants Tempe to knock Roth out if he wakes up. Roth is noisy when he’s awake, and we should worry about that because he’s definitely a light sleeper, right? Now it’s a game of hide in the shadows and freeze or else… we might be bird food.
• As we’re doing so, something sploots down on the deck in front of Tempe. It’s not a carcass or leftover bird food, but… a human? Alleged human moves and talks, so Tempe responds, albeit with hesitation because 1) she’s a skeptic and 2) STRANGER DANGER! Vee is more enthusiastic, all starry-eyed and primping herself. He is allegedly attractive by social convention. Not going to post the very specific description about his physique because it’s a little off-putting for Wendy, but it is free to be read on the chat log.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: … Ylyndar Nightwing.
    • Notes: He is a guardian affiliated with the Sky Pirates. As Vee informs later, apparently these Guardians are Very Important People in Power (VIPIP) who can do just about whatever they want.
    • Additional Notes: He wants us to pay a fee for Not Destroying Us on Sight.
• He and Vee sweet-talk back and forth about gems and stealing. Wait. Sky Pirate dude say what? Glimber isn’t too on board and gives the guy a Bombastic Side Eye. Sky Pirate might be easy on the eyes (for Vee) and… allegedly a proponent of non-violent approaches, but it doesn’t change the fact that he was like “I’m here to steal your gems. Let me do it or I’ll boom-shaka-laka your ship”. Yeah… the vibes are a little off here. Glimber’s got his Pick ready to square up. Tempe’s watching from the back, very glad she’s not the one who Volunteered as Tribute.
• Eventually, Vee charms her way out of it with… one kiss and a gem from her. Which… if Guardians are as powerful as she describes, isn’t as heavy a price to pay? I dunno. Vee brings out her gem and proceeds to talk about Sky Ships. Ok, so digging for info. Tempe is like “oh yeah, we saw one in the mountains!” Definitely an accidental spoiler that Vee didn’t want out there, whoopsies. The conversation ends with “I’ll give a good shout out about you guys to the others!” before the guy swoops off.
• The reviews are a mixed bag. Glimber doesn’t want to see that guy again, and questions Vee on giving away the Emerald that was mined with blood sweat and tears of the other Gnomes in his village. Tempe is confused about why Vee gave in so easily to this guy when she wasn’t as enthused about giving away the Tridents to the people of Sleepy Turtle Island. There’s a long explanation, but tl;dr: 1) she wanted to protect the ship, and 2) the Sleepy Turtle Island didn’t seem profitable. She and Glimber go back and forth on ethics, morals, and profit. Tempe is sandwiched between them, thankful to be alive and hoping this won’t bring more trouble than it cost.

Quotes of the Night

JtomTMO (Lirtimya): How is everyone?
Carissa (Vee Barlett): existing

Vee Barlett: Row you scurvy dogs!
Temperance: Say it louder for my wrists. Maybe they'll do the job.
Temperance: holds out her wrists.
Vee Barlett: ROW YOU SCURVY DOG! WORK THEM WRISTS TO THEM GATES OF HELL!

TMO (Rothuss Carder): THAT'S WHY I WAS ASKING IF WE NEEDED MORE ROPE
TMO (Rothuss Carder): HOW HIGH IS IT, I ASKED :P

Rothuss Carder: I am ME! These ladies are THEM! Who are YOU?
Carissa (Vee Barlett): odysseus here

Rothuss Carder: Apparently he ate a fishing boat a few days ago.
Rothuss Carder: That's Mel's greatest dream, to be able to eat while sleeping.

Inv Zora Polasis: yes mermaids! Distract Vee with mermaids - thinks Zora

BOB Wendy you only get credit for logging in once a session, you cannot get three sessions tonight
TMO (Rothuss Carder): lol
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): lol bob
wyjyoon (Temperance): Whaaattt
wyjyoon (Temperance): But Boooobbbb

Carissa (Vee Barlett): i'm aliveeee
Carissa (Vee Barlett): so did we get rid of Rothuss? Kept the tridents? Create world peace and a bloody water war?
wyjyoon (Temperance): Is everybody alive?

Tasar Xantrani: Who the hell are you bringing here now Darfin?
Tasar Xantrani: We already have one outlander
TMO (Rothuss Carder): "We've already done killed and et the other one, we're not hungry no more!"

BOB There is a ships wheel in the center of town with various bit and pieces tied to the handles
Inv Zora Polasis: fights urge to spin the wheel

Temperance: offers polite nods and brief blessings for safe complacent floating.

Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): you should just sleep - we'll wake you if we crash
Carissa (Vee Barlett): lol
wyjyoon (Temperance): "Mutiny on the Lady" Season 2
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): lol

Vee Barlett: We just gotta keep low. If Rothuss wakes, ya got my permission to knock him out again 'cause he always loud but easy to knock out.
Temperance: Um…
Temperance: looks at her priestly wrists.
Temperance: Sure.

Vee Barlett: And what's a handsome, uh, man? Doin', er... on me deck?
Glimber Silvernose: I'm on watch!
Glimber Silvernose: You know that

Ylyndar Nightwing: Do you have gems?
Vee Barlett: I am one.

Hello friends, welcome back to another episode of Sailing Around for Funsies! Like True Pir— I mean, Adventurers! Which… you know, exploring for the sake of just exploring is actually kinda nice.

• TL;DR: Sneak past the Navy and… is that another Dragon Turtle?
• It’s morning. We’ve spent the night at Blue Gill (sans Vee and Melange who were sleeping on ship) and have to sneak out because His Royal Navy-ness is here with his whole crew, and well… the whole town is keeping everything on the downlow to make sure not to get on his radar. So shh… Don’t be Sus.
• Roth has a couple Thought Bubble jumps that progress as follows: Sneaking = Sneaky Soundtrack necessity → A token from the Navy Ship would be cool! Zora and Lirt combine their Responsible and Sensible Brain cells and Veto. It would be too much hassle to 1) piss off the Navy and 2) break Roth out of prison for doing something casually illegal like stealing. Gentle reminder that we’re also evading and playing dumb about encountering The Statue that they may want.
• We make it to our ship without any run-ins, and off we sail! But wait, what’s that? It is a “very large dark cave with water flowing out of it”. Which is code for HECK to the NO, no matter what million-dollar-worth treasure is down there. We bookmark for later.
• Is our Ship still possessed? Yep, the Ol’ Popular Pirate Captain’s here, still partial to Pirates and squawking at every bump on the railing. Is our scenery still Peaceful Ocean? Yep, there’s a wonderful island over there too. Oh wait, that’s not an island at all.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: a Sea Turtle-like Monstrosity
    • Notes: Vee thinks she’s heard some legends call it a Zaratan?
• So now what? The Options are As Follows:

1. Park and Observe
2. Sneak and Evade… and Pray We Won’t be Dinner
3. Engage

• Everyone (excluding Roth)’s in the mood for Self-Preservation, so Vee decides to anchor and watch it to see what’s up. Roth and Tempe join her for the first part of the night, but nothing much happens other than Vee peeking through the spyglass.
• Zora gets up to accompany Vee for the second part of the night, finds Vee finishing a conversation in Aquatic-Speak, and takes the wheel. Tempe is amused and wholly supportive. Vee is, predictably, Not. Nothing related to the Sea Turtle Thing happens, but Zora learns that Vee’s mom basically left the family for Church-related stuff, and Vee gets to voice disapproval about Zora’s preferences in potential partners.
• Lirt and Glimber take over the last part of the night. Lirt wants to measure how far the Sea Turtle Thing moves. It requires two sticks and rope! After a fruitless search for Rothuss’ drumsticks, they settle for tying off rope on the railing and then cooking fish that Glimber caught earlier for breakfast.
• Rise and Shine ‘cuz we’re all alive! There’s fish for breakfast, and a Giant Turtle Thing in view! Let’s row and explore? Churchy Wrists say no, but everyone else is up for rowing. Giant Turtle Thing hasn’t moved much, but Tempe can see that the flippers are moving, so it’s alive. She also spots a village up the hill over there, but we can’t find any ships or boats or people. Uh oh, did they get eaten by the Giant Turtle Thing? Let’s find out!
  • Hello Adventurers! You have encountered: Josian Lamagnon.
    • Notes: He is the Mayor of Nutpoint.
    • Additional Notes: Yes, some of his villagers past-tensed and became Turtle Food. He definitely thinks they were idiots. Vee thinks she knows someone like that.
• While everyone else is meeting up with the Mayor of this village, Tempe is watching the Turtle Thing on ship with Mel and Glimber. Mel read about this Giant Turtle Thing at the library and is now convinced that he wants to picnic on its shell. How would we get eaten on top of a turtle shell, anyway? Turtles can’t bite their own backs, right?
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: a Zaratan.
    • Notes: Zaratani sleep 99% of the time due to slow metabolism. They mate and reproduce via… leaving it up to fate (aka IF they happen to float into each other and IF the Zaratani happen to be of the opposite sex). The SSSR of card pulls.
• Next on Sailing for Funsies: Picnic on the Zaratan?

Quotes of the Night

BOB Lirt would vote for saving you right?????? right?
TMO (Rothuss Carder): they love me for my personality I tell you

BOB AND now
BOB dum dum dum
BOB the CLIFFS of
BOB nah
Carissa (Vee Barlett): dover
Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): insanity

Carissa (Vee Barlett): is that another dragon turtle??

Inv Zora Polasis: moves the helm back and forth since the ship is anchored
Inv Zora Polasis: I'm captain now ghost man!
Inv Zora Polasis: tries to pull off an evil laugh
Inv Zora Polasis: Mutiny on the Lady!
Temperance: claps her hands for Zora
Vee Barlett: I'll stab ya all.

Vee Barlett: No. I know he was full of ship. Ain't hard to not crash in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

Lisa (Glimber Silvernose): and the turtle eats the ship - the end
BOB LOL
wyjyoon (Temperance): lol we end up in the belly of a turtle
Carissa (Vee Barlett): he will be full of ship

BOB So something happens but you do not know what
Carissa (Vee Barlett): welcome to life

Lisa (Glimber Silvernose): cuz they've all been eaten!
Carissa (Vee Barlett): oh ship

Josian Lamagnon: Very good question
Josian Lamagnon: Idiots is the answer

Hello friends, welcome back to Sightseeing!

• TL;DR:

1. To barbecue or not barbecue, that is the question.
2. The Churchy Folk and the Legalized Pirates are Not Friends.

• So… three failed obs rolls later, we all land on the beach like “where the party at?” The party is a group of men trying to barbecue what looks to be a giant bird creature.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered… Shardo Castedras, Daermod Coldcloud, Ethen Redshadow, Rhothomir Winddane, and Other Men.
    • Notes: They think they are roasting an eagle.
• Vee’s like if you’re gonna eat it, at least put it out of its misery. We aren’t so sure if the creature should be consumed, because there looks to be hands and it’s speaking in a language we can’t understand. Roth convinces the guy to wait until we know it is what we think it is, and the testing begins.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered… Bird Creature?
    • Notes: Bird Human, maybe?
• We determine that the creature can communicate (if tapping on rocks is considered communicating). Roth unties the ropes while Tempe checks for any burns to heal. Bird Creature is Fine. The problem is trying to figure out how to help him. Duolingo, can you teach me how to speak Bird? Let the owl stare deep into your soul to pressure you into mastering it in three weeks. Tempe attempts drawing and lets Zora take over before misunderstandings arise. Ratbone’s playing music in the background, and Roth swims over to get Lirt to come over onto shore so she can cook the tuna that these Men are so sick of eating.
• Meanwhile, Vee and Glimber offer to help fish for more food. Red volunteers for tribute to… uh… make moon-eyes at Vee? And Vee… makes moon-eyes back? I dunno, they row away on the canoe with Glimber sandwiched between them.
• Zora’s better at drawing than Tempe, and we finally get the Bird Man to understand that he is free! He gives Roth a necklace as a… thank you (?) before he takes off. No magic, but it’s pretty. Vee, Red and Glimber return with no fish, Ratbone gets tired and wants to nap, so she goes back to Lady Grim to sleep, Lirt cooks the tuna, nobody complains, and off we go again! Our next destination? Smore / Pointy-Finger Island.
• As we dock, there are buildings and stuff. Vee is more interested in the large ship parked right next door. It has a catapult thingy that looks like a really big crossbow (Ballistae). It has military flags, but no symbols. Hm. Sounds Important.
  • Hello Adventurers! You have encountered… Heidi Ibsen and The Dark Prince.
    • Notes: The first is a worker at the docks. The other is a Royal Navy ship.
• The Admiral of the Navy is staying at the Golden Coral. Sounds pricey. We go to Blue Gill instead because we have Churchy Folk and would rather avoid the drama. Totally not because he’s looking for a Statue. Totally not because it sounds like the Statue we... uh dropped off? Somewhere? Totally not avoiding that encounter for as long as possible, right?
  • Hello Adventurers! You have encountered… The Blue Gill and Maja Strandlund.
    • Notes: It is an inn that operates with the help of magic.
    • Additional Notes: Wizard founder, maybe?
• It’s nice! A weird lady is standing at the door who speaks the same line repeatedly, but the food is good enough, and we have a place to sleep. Lirt thinks its probably a spell that uses a statue to speak like a human.
• Lirt wants to take a walk to see if she can find any libraries. Everyone comes along for a nice exploration of the town. As we walk, we talk about books and libraries and making them more accessible to the public. Couple people jump on that idea, and Wendy hopes it becomes canon one day.
• Tempe casually notices that there’s no church. Which is kinda weird to her. Wendy does not care, but Tempe does a little because she is part of THE CHURCH. Now the casual walk becomes a scavenger hunt for the town church. Whoops.
• We find one hidden deep in the woods somewhere. The Crown’s Legalized Pirates and the Churchy Folk do not get along. Which… I guess isn’t surprising at all, if you think about it. Vee and Mel split off from everyone else to go sleep on the ship, and it’s nighty night for everyone.

Quotes of the Night

BOB Yes a group of men
BOB Because it is always men.

wyjyoon (Temperance): maybe we should have someone stab something and see if the attack rolls are working
BOB I think that Vee has ideas
Carissa (Vee Barlett): ideas for what?
BOB Ideas for stabbing someone to test
BOB but Roth decided to stab his sister instead
TMO (Rothuss Carder): punch, thank you very much
Carissa (Vee Barlett): understandable

Daermod Coldcloud: Oh come on my kid can count to four
Rothuss Carder: Are you gonna eat your kid?
Rhothomir Winddane: Your kid still can't button their shirt

Lisa (Glimber Silvernose): because it looks like a pointy finger
Carissa (Vee Barlett): lol I approve of this logic
wyjyoon (Temperance): to the pointy finger island
wyjyoon (Temperance): it kinda looks like a ladle too
wyjyoon (Temperance): or like a melting marshmallow on a stick
BOB Smore Island
wyjyoon (Temperance): mm smores

Lirtimya: Can't believe they're making me do this
Lirtimya: sighs dramatically

MeLange: If they're a blacksmith, and ropesmith, and a coppersmith... then why wouldn't they be a cobblersmith?

Session 2025-04-18c - 2025-04-18s?

Hello friends, welcome back to Sightseeing! The world is suffering from a constant loop of hoopla, FGU is especially brutal to laptop users, Bob the Fixer gets maintenance requests, and Wendy is chasing after her marbles. Eh, what else is new? Oh YEAH, it’s Good Friday! Happy Easter, guys!

• TL;DR: It’s all fun and games until you find that your ship is possessed, lion-seal hybrids exist, and the people on the beach are super casual about grilling bird humanoids.
• Sharif signs it before everyone else, and we are glad to have him.
• Awake (7): Vee, Lirtimya, Zora, Glimber, MeLange, Rothuss, Temperance.
  • Lirtimya and Ratbone are getting their beauty sleep. Lirtimya wakes up later.
• With lots of mushroom wine in tow, we find our way back to Lady Grim. Mel is Bubbly-Giggly, but most of us are surprisingly not. We are definitely ready for run-ins with All the Bizarre Things.
• Speak of the devil, our first Bizarre Thing: a voice on the Lady Grim is YELLING AT US. Did the Lady gain sentience? Are we casually feeling the aftereffects of the Mushroom Wine? Is it an auditory hallucination?
• Roth kicks the barrel by accident and opens the doors to all types of experimentation on the barrel— including but not limited to kicking, drumming, stabbing water, and casting Detect Magic. That last one makes the whole ship glow green, but apparently the Shark Summoning Headpiece Thingy is magic so it didn’t matter anywayyyyy.
• Glimber requests that Tempe cast some Exorcism with her Churchy Folk Powers. Tempe is unfortunately too low-level for that. Roth ponders on whether The Voice only talks back to Vee, but doesn’t ponder very long. Evidently, Wisdom is only for the Old.
  • Anyways… Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: Werner Hertzberg, self-proclaimed Fearsome Pirate Extraordinaire (in Spirit).
    • Notes: 1) Rothuss accidentally discovers that Werner reacts when he hits the barrel with OUCH. It is later discovered that he is noise-sensitive, which… heckin ironic, if you ask me. 2) Werner only speaks to Vee, which probably means he can only hear Vee? Is it some pirate-to-pirate thing?
    • Additional Notes: He is acquainted with Emilia French (aka Vee’s mother)? Just how many pirates are affiliated with the Barlett Pirate Mafia? (Also, flashback to the Dead Dread Pirate case anyone? First the taxes, now pirates… just how many throwbacks are we planning to have? It ain’t even Thursday!)
• Anyways, an hour or two of YELLING and experimenting later, we’re back at the inn. Drinking and relaxing and storytelling takes place, with the changing of narrators due to Technical Difficulties.
• It’s back to sailing in the morning! Vee and Zora are next to the wheel on the upper deck / part of the ship, most likely discussing whether Zora can get a hand on it. Glimber is resting inside. Mel, Roth, and Tempe are out on the lower deck watching the water.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered the Second Bizarre Thing: a… pod? pride? of a Sea-Lion Surprise.
    • Brief Description: a lion’s upper half fused with a seal’s lower half. Apparently it is called a Lion-Sea.
    • Notes: They have Claws and are, predictably…Hungry.
• Lionsea 1 leaps into the air and slashes at Mel. He tries to identify just what the heck it is, but is too busy with his new ouchie to think straight. Roth has the instinctive reaction to get in between the Thing and the Resident Squish… only to realize that the creature is a good distance away. Glimber rushes out after hearing Mel yell.
• Upper Deck, Vee decides to stay with the wheel to try to shake them off and finds a new scapegoat (aka Werner).
• Lower Deck, Tempe positions herself, lets her arrows fly, and watches one of them tangled in the mane. Roth approaches, Double-Troubles drawn; his Sabre gives a solid slash. Mel swings twice with his Axe, and lands a hit!
• Upper Deck, Zora wants to know what Vee would prefer. Ah, to Stab or to Steer, that is the question. Vee flips a coin, and steering it is!
• Zora goes down to the Lower Deck, brandishing her rapier. She has no problem with her first slash, but Lionsea 1 gets stubborn and keeps mauling Mel like a chef preparing slices of steak during dinner rush. Lionsea 2 wants in on the action and goes for Zora. She’s slashed a little, but not enough to freeze her up. Glimber goes to incapacitate Lionsea 1 and missteps.
• Upper Deck, Vee announces to everyone that she’s summoning sharks with her Manta Ray headpiece thingy. Zora and Tempe will know who to blame if the sharks decide to join in on the mauling. Four sharks appear.
• Lower Deck, Tempe realizes how many people are stabbing at the Lionseas and waits to see if she’s needed. Roth’s not so lucky with his Double Troubles, but Mel YEETS the Lionsea’s claw away and slashes it back! HAH! Take that, bootleg Sphinx of the sea! Lionsea 1 is like I just wanted fooooodddd whyyyyyy and flipper-floppers away back into the water. Zora is making good progress with Lionsea 2, and Mel’s Axe gives it a taste of its own medicine.
• Eventually, all the Lionseas swim off and tangle with the sharks as we watch from the ship. Tempe checks in on Mel and decides he’ll be fine with just binding the slashes. Lirt wakes up just in time to get info-dumped about Werner and the Lionsea thing.
• After a bit of back and forth, Tempe wants answers on this Werner guy, so she casts Personal Reading to do some snooping.
  • Hello, Adventurers! You have encountered: Werner Hertzberg, an Actual Pirate.
    • Notes: His Last Huzzah is stealing supplies off the Royal Navy for a desperate village, only to get swirled up in a hurricane. Some Robin Hood shit, if you ask me. No wonder he was popular.
• As we continue to sail and discuss Werner the Pirate, Lirt and Tempe spots… land! There’s sand, canoes, and smoke. Zora believes it to be a fish fry. Shall we join the party? Sure, we say, as the three people with observation casually crits. Time to flip around and find out!
• While Tempe rows Vee towards the shore, the rest swim along. We arrive at the beach, only to find… “a large humanoid bird-like creature that is staked down over the smoking fire”.
• Next Episode: Er... Try Not to be Dinner?

Quotes of the Night

BOB You have had mushroom wine, the parade, mushroom wine, the celebration, more mushroom wine.

Vee Barlett: Guys, I ain't drunk, right? I didn't think I was more than buzzed. Glimbs, does that mushroom wine make ya trip?

MeLange: it's ok Roth, wisdom is for old people anyway
BOB WOW to the priestess Temp

Rothuss Carder: Congrats, Cap'n! Your ship's grumpy ol' man!

Carissa (Vee Barlett): maybe Werner gets a ghost friend
wyjyoon (Temperance): two yelling ghosts
wyjyoon (Temperance): sounds like cacophony
TMO (Rothuss Carder): “... and then Vee burned the ship to the waterline and retired to a mountain monastery....”
Carissa (Vee Barlett): only if she can shank snowman first and take over

Lisa (Inv Zora Polasis): like the one chasing all the surfers in newport beach?

BOB So Vee is up
BOB Is she leaving the wheel to Zora?
wyjyoon (Temperance): lol
TMO (Rothuss Carder): ahahahahaha

Lisa (Glimber Silvernose): see zora can steer better :)
BOB Whose ship is this?
Lisa (Glimber Silvernose): mutiny on the grim lady

TMO (Rothuss Carder): probably too soon but ... time to euthanize a sea lion!
Carissa (Vee Barlett): humane slaughter
Lisa (Glimber Silvernose): bad kitty! paws not claws!

Inv Zora Polasis: If the sharks jump on board with the sea lion I'm not going to be happy

BOB Maybe Werner is good luck for Roth, two encounters now without being knocked out

Session 2025-04-11c - 2025-04-11s?

• The evening starts off with To Leave Mel or To Not Leave Mel… to guard the ship. Evidently we can’t just park a ship wherever there’s water.
• We walk through some nature and arrive at a village with houses tucked in on hills. There are goats, which is enough for Vee to go trigger-happy with her jokes. Ratbone just thinks the goats are cute. Tempe is just enjoying the banter.
  • Hello Adventurers! You have encountered: (2) Angry Gnomes that only Zora and Glimber understand.
    • Notes: by the names of Aayden Weinbacher and Gottschalk Honz.
• According to Zora and Glimber, they think we’re sus. Like super secret spy kind of sus. Hence the rock-throwing. Excuse me, but wasn’t rock-throwing kind of our thing when we got desperate? Kidding. Anyways, one rock catches Rothuss at the back of his head, and… knocks him out like a light.
• Should we be genuinely concerned at how easily Rothuss gets knocked out in almost every new adventure? Perhaps reflect for later, because all the bickering between the 2 angry gnomes + 1 upset gnome + Zora = too much noise for Sybille Tischendorf.
  • Hello Adventurers! You have encountered (1) Sybille Tischendorf!
    • Notes: She is an important figure in her village.
• She thinks we’re sus because we’re humans. And they don’t trust humans because there were some who have been trying to steal ownership of their mines. Considering humans have trust issues with each other, Wendy doesn’t blame them.
• Still, she very reluctantly lets us stay the night. The only building tall enough for us, aka City Hall. Very much Gulliver’s Travels Vibes, but like… we’re not that giant, comparatively.
• Rothuss returns to consciousness. Just in time for the Sybille lady to grill us on whether we are Pirates. We answer no until she decides she doesn’t want to deal with our stubborn company, and brings us food. For someone who thinks we’re sus, she’s nice enough.
• We get word that Glimber’s parents aren’t home because they’re off to get help to shoo away the Other Humans from stealing their mine. Apparently, they need a deed. An official document that has to do with land ownership and all that. It’s at this point Wendy has one of her “I might be the Wrong Person to Play a Priest” moments. It takes too much brainpower.
• Tempe goes “I know Churches make legal documents”. And then Zora goes “I’m a Senior Investigator, I could try to help with the Law and Stuff”. Throwback to Pre-Tempe, when Jericho had a curse in relation to a tax stamp. Yeah… that sounded fun for the people involved.
• So here, we have choices:
  • Rough Up Some People
  • Get the Churchy Folk to Write
  • Leave them to their Predicament
• Everyone considers the options over food and Mushroom Wine. Ratbone gets overstimulated and goes back to the ship to get her beauty sleep. Lisa is the singular brain cell and is like “Take it for the Church. It’ll shoo away the humans”.
• So Zora, Tempe, and Roth all contribute their skills to help make this document, which shows that it’s owned by the church and the gnomes, who are granted a lease to work the land as long as they pay their taxes on Mushroom Wine and 50% of the mine’s output.
• And in the morning, when Other Humans come pounding on the door, everyone prepares for…
  • Hello Adventurers! You have all encountered (1) Connell Slateflayer.
    • Notes: aka “a noisy little pissant”. Rothuss’ words, not mine, but definitely agreed.
• Tempe blesses everyone and gets ready to cast other spells. Zora is up front, showing this new guy how pissed off of an Investigator she is. Roth and Vee are wanting to see some blood. Lirt remains in wait, in case we need her in her Stabby Mage Mode.
• So this Connell guy says he’s from the Corporation of Emerald Development. Which is either a super new company or a fake one. We are bagging on the latter, and keep grilling him.
• In the midst of all this…
  • Hello Adventurers! You have encountered (1) Adi Helmke, aka Glimber’s father.
    • Notes: he knows how to turn emeralds into butterflies, but not turn them back.
• So the Connell guy goes off to get his Captain of… um Emerald Development Corp.? Captain looks at the documents, is super upsetti spaghetti, and they all go back down the stream.
• Zora hopes that it doesn’t come back to bite us. Tempe is casually prepared that it will. Apparently what we made was a real document and not just some forged fake thing that we intended, so now Tempe has to come back to collect taxes from them at some point. Which… I guess it is something she’ll have to live with.
• Anyways, gnomes are currently happy that their mine is no longer being harassed, and throw a parade. We enjoy festivities, Vee takes some Mushroom Wine as souvenirs, and Tempe goes over to ask Glimber if she could get one or two Emeralds for spells. This starts off a chain reaction that she didn’t intend, but we get 7 Emeralds and divide it. Zora and Glimber abstain.

Next: Sailing and rowing to make it back along the coast. Back on the water we go!

Quotes of the Night

Vee Barlett: Ain't as hardheaded as you act. Literally.

TMO (Rothuss Carder): need to get this boy a helmet

BOB Temp knows that the Church can grant all sorts of special dispensations
BOB Tax Stamps for example
wyjyoon (Temperance): ......
wyjyoon (Temperance): this feels like deja vu
BOB Points to previous story arcs that others can ......
BOB grins

Spring (Ratbone Carder): i love how nobody can type intimibate

TMO (Rothuss Carder): We know Vee's vote - mass murder

BOB So Wendy is going to do a Church Documentation thing with Zora
BOB Is what I have out your plans so far
BOB and then Vee will shank anyone who does not believe it
wyjyoon (Temperance): sounds like a cult

BOB Wendy just shrugs and goes, Huh, butterflies, ok
wyjyoon (Temperance): yep
wyjyoon (Temperance): that's where i am tonight

Rothuss Carder: Where's his documentation?
BOB SLAPS Connell
Rothuss Carder: Nevermind, I like this guy now.

BOB and apparently they are very happy to have been saved from the land pirates
BOB As word filters out
Vee Barlett: Land pirates?? That be insultin'! Who said that? I'm gonna punch them.
Inv Zora Polasis: I don't think you want to hear this latest
Vee Barlett: Landlubbers! All of them!
Temperance: Hold your salt, Vee.
Temperance: Not time yet.

Session 2025-04-04c - 2025-04-04s?

Hello folks! Welcome to the Sightseeing Arc, the breath of air after the Salty Cave Nightmare. Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s the map with the water animation, but it really does give me Animal Crossing vibes.

• Ok, so off we go, towards the Glimber Home! Not even a minute in, Vee is already disgruntled with Rothuss for simply existing. He shrugs it off in casual Rothuss fashion and lumbers off to play with his new toy– I mean, practice his new instrument. Zora reiterates her will to live, and Glimber talks about how much he likes adventuring with everyone.
• Oh yeah, apparently we got a spyglass! Good for us! Zora looks through and can’t see a thing. Oop, did we get scammed? Nope, the glass was just foggy. Lirt takes care of it.
• Hello, Adventurers ! There are (3) fishing ships in the distance.
  • Notes: Vee feels that something is off but can’t quite tell.
• And what do you do when you’re not sure? Talk to the water, of course. So Vee talks. Water talks back. What’s in the water? A swordfish by the name Euchenor. Vee asks for some salty underwater gossip. It’s not salty enough, but Euchenor seems friendly and willing to pass word that we are looking for the Sea Elves.
• Watch Time! But not before Vee gets to poke Rothuss with a blade and casually take credit for his limited moments of wisdom. As we go back and forth on where to anchor for the night…
• Hello, Adventurers ! Meet: Captain Rashida Montarac of the ship Climberbond.
  • Notes: Apparently it’s more of a half-longboat.
• We make acquaintance, and the two captains proceed to bond over how great of captains they are. Oh yeah, we do get some nice info about the Pelican, the town’s hotspot. Evidently the guy who owns it upcharges a lot, so we gotta squiggle our way to a good deal.
• Vee’s like: Rothuss, I Choose You! like he’s her distraction pokemon. In all seriousness, he is very skilled at smooth-talking his way into and out of things, so good choice. Tempe is there for uh... moral support, I guess? She doesn’t question it and remains Very Confused for the rest of the evening.
• Hello, Adventurers ! Meet: Agapion Morozov, the Upcharge Guy.
• Pelican owner immediately thinks they’re committed. They are not, but don’t disagree because it might help get them a discount on the rooms and find libraries. There is not enough literature to go around, unfortunately, but there are rooms up for bargaining. It’s suddenly a verbal battle between auctioneer and bidders. Suggested price? 1 room for 4 silver, 2 rooms for 10.
• Roth is like, where’s the math in that? After some back and forth, it is settled for 7 silver plus a story. Mel bloops into existence just in time for Rothuss to set the scene, and then… well, it’s all Improv from here, folks.
• Hello, Adventurers ! How would you like to be a Theatre Troupe Formed a Minute Ago?
  • Notes: It involves The Shirtless Axe Hero Mel, Tempe the Giantess, Roth the Narrator, and an audience of like… 7 people. But hey, start small, right?

Intermission for: The entirety of the performance is posted below. For record’s sakes, but also… it was hard to paraphrase because of the pure chaos and the back and forth. You’re welcome :)

• To give credit, all goes well with the storytelling. There’s even audience participation, which is amazing! The people think it’s amazing too, which means they want MOOOREEE. Tempe is like “that’s enough excitement for one day” and distracts them with… booze. Because that’s not going to get rowdy at all, right? It is predictably Very Effective. And then we get to keep both rooms, sleep off the booze, and sail in the morning!
• Next episode: Onwards to Glimber’s House.

The Minute Theatre

Rothuss Carder: 'Kay. Mel, get up here. Show these fine folk what you've got.
MeLange scuttles up to Rothuss, takes his shirt off, and flexes.
Rothuss Carder: This lad here, beat a giant in single combat! First blood!
MeLange changes pose and feigns an attack.
Temperance: I believe we were in the mountains at some sort at the time.
Rothuss Carder: It was what, 15, 20 foot tall?
MeLange: Never been much for measuring
Temperance: It appeared taller, like it could touch the clouds.
MeLange: Body odor wasn't easy to get over either.
Rothuss Carder: So it did, so it did. A mighty lady, she was. And fierce. Like she could pull your arms off.
MeLange: And use it as a toothpick no less.
Temperance: She definitely could have had all of us for breakfast and then some.
Rothuss Carder: If the fella with her was any indication, the lady giants are bigger and meaner than the men.
Temperance: It seemed like she was the matriarch of her tribe, though I couldn't be too sure of the ins and outs of the giant tribal structure.

Ruslan Olkhovsky: How big are the men?

Temperance: Maybe about 10 to 15 feet? Just a tad bit smaller than the women.
Rothuss Carder: Still not someone you'd want to take on at wrestling, for sure. They stormed into our camp one night, saying we'd taken their prize fishing spot. Bet you didn't know giants fished, eh?
Temperance: Oh, it was right next to the lake of their camp! I remember a bit more now.

Ruslan Olkhovsky: Do they fish for giant fish?

Rothuss Carder: They certainly can! This group was actually there for pearls! There was a couple sunken ships in the lake with urchins growing in them. They'd come out every year or two, lift the ships out of the water, and harvest the urchins.

MeLange pretends to crack open a sea urchin and eat it, then rubs his belly.
Temperance: We certainly had to be careful with those urchins, they were quite a handful.
MeLange pretends to step on an urchin and grabs at his pained foot.
Rothuss Carder: Anyways, since we'd gotten the campsite first, the obvious solution to keep the site was a duel, one of us versus one of them. To first blood, of course, no need for anyone to die for a camping spot.
MeLange mimes a sword duel.
Temperance: And though Melange is quite a duelist with his own weapon, I was a little apprehensive as to whether we would succeed. Quite nervewracking, to witness someone you know facing a treetop of a creature.
Rothuss Carder: She was three times his size, almost blotted out the sun.
MeLange shrugs his shoulders
MeLange: You know what they say, the bigger they are, the more likely they are to crush ya.
Rothuss Carder: And she did, too. Grabbed him first thing, like a small child, and flung him out like a stone into the lake.
Rothuss Carder: But did he let that stop him?!
Temperance: Not the Melange I know, he wouldn't.

Ruslan Olkhovsky: He is standing there right?
Ruslan Olkhovsky: So he did not get crushed OBVIOUSLY

MeLange shakes his head
Rothuss Carder: That's right! No blood!

Agapion Morozov: Hush Ruslan and let them tell the story.
Agapion Morozov: Maybe he got better.
Agapion Morozov: Temperance can heal Rothuss from being stabbed all the time, she said
Rothuss Carder: I love audience participation! It shows you're listening.
Rothuss Carder: So please, ask any questions you have.

Temperance: He didn't need healing from falling in the lake! At least.. not yet.

Agapion Morozov: OOOOO a Clifhanger

Rothuss Carder: But you should have seen the look in that giant's eyes when he swims back in and goes right back into the ring with her.
MeLange raises an eyebrow in anticipation
Temperance: She was indeed rather perplexed. I could hear her booming voice all the way from where I was watching.
Temperance: tries to mimic a giant lady's voice.
Temperance: GIVE UP ALREADY, MEASLY HUMAN!
Rothuss Carder: laughs.
MeLange: Never!!!

Intermission for: a Song Recommendation from Sharif.

Rothuss Carder: But not our MeLange! He gets right back in there! He dives right back in, between her feet, where she can't reach him! At least not without hurting herself.
MeLange boxes in place.
Temperance: It was certainly a battle strategy, using his comparatively smaller stature to his advantage.

Ruslan Olkhovsky: Covers up his privates imagining

Rothuss Carder: The giantess can't use her sword, so she tries to stomp on him with her great feet!
Rothuss Carder stomps his foot loudly at Melange
MeLange mimes dodging right, then dodging left and back
Temperance: clears her throat to try and mimic the voice of the giantess.
Temperance: YOU THINK YOU CAN OUTSMART ME, HUMAN??
MeLange: “I may not outsmart ya Giant!” I said. “But I'll kick your big butt!”
Rothuss Carder: He dodges once! Twice! Three times! And then...
Rothuss Carder: stomps three times, loudly.
MeLange pretends to dodge all three stomps.
MeLange: I could feel her knuckle hairs run across my back. It was that close!
Rothuss Carder: But don't forget.. he's armed too. Show 'em, big guy.
MeLange Unleashes the gun show, flexing his biceps as he exhales audibly.
Temperance: She was certainly nimble, and her frustration must have made her more quick. But ah, Melange was faster! And armed with his trusty axe to help!
MeLange pulls out the axe and holds it up to the sky.
Rothuss Carder: When she was off-balance, a single swing into the inside of her knee was all it took to end the match in our favor.
MeLange: swings left with the axe
Rothuss Carder: First Blood, to MeLange.

Ruslan Olkhovsky: WOW

MeLange: just like that y'all
Temperance: The giantess had no choice but to admit defeat.
MeLange: "Yield!" I may have said.
Temperance: And thus, the giantess agreed to help us harvest the goods within their fishing grounds.

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