Sorry, Not Sorry
Fiction By John Anstett set in the world of Crossroads
An elderly female Orc sits in a large chair carved out of a tree stump outside a hut in a quiet part of a forest village. She smiles as a young fit female Orc approaches.
"I am so proud of you today" the older woman say slowly and clearly in common tongue .
"I appreciate your kind words, Lady Sahta." the younger one says in Orcish.
"No, no, in common please. It is important." Lady Sahta interrupted
Frustrated, the young Orc takes a deep breath and sits cross legged on the ground and continues her conversation in common.
"I have passed all the tests and I await my place in service to the tribe"
"Very well, Ka'yona. Yes you have pass, with flying colors, just like I knew you would."
"Then why must I talk in this language of the outsiders?"
"My child, you are not only the bravest warrior but you are also the smartest, that is why you have been given the greatest responsibility. You are to go out and travel the world and bring us back peace."
So many questions passed through her head as Ka'yona sat with her mouth open and her face blank. Where to begin;why or how; is this a reward or punishment; did she have a choice, that was probably the most important and yet the simplest of answers.
"Yes Lady Sahta, it will be my honor, for the tribe." she said after a deep breath. "Please tell me what I must know, what I must do."
"Take this necklace, and forget all you think you know." Lady Sahta said with an ominous voice.
(fade to black)
In a dim lit tavern, a dark haired human female is cleaning up after most of the patrons have stumbled away for the night. After taking the last large load of dishes to the bar, she walks the perimeter tables, checking on George who is clearly out for the night. Taking his last call. she spots another mug, barely touched in the corner and tried to think who was in the that booth and if it's safe to drink as she walks up. She stands square to the table and lifts the second mug, remembering her days as a double handed drinker and see a silver piece at the end of the table. She sets down the good drink and reaches for the coin, making sure not to spill George's back-washed ale and thinking for a second it was smart to have worn the longer skirt before remembering who was left awake just a moment to late.
As he takes a stance a little too close directly behind the bent over barmaid, he starts to talk quietly and deeper than normal.
"I should thank you Brenda, you do still present a challenge, and a very worthy prize"
She takes a deep breath, and shakes her head slightly as she empties her hands and places them on the side of the tab. "You know I may not be quite old enough to be your mother, but I can still teach you a few things." She says with a bit of exhaustion in her voice.
"That is what I am hoping for ... " his smooth talk interrupted by a swift jump by Brenda to throw her weight towards the table where she braces herself and gave a double kick into her patron's chest, knocking him back as she flipped and landed sitting sitting on the edge of the table and picks up the drinks and smile."
"No, thank you, for the drink and the reminder that I still got it." she said with a smile and a sip. " I think it is time for you to get back on the road to where ever you go. stay away a little longer this time, please, Roberto."
As I crossed the tree line, I felt it wash over me like a blanket of mist. After traveling the world for a couple decades, I was home. While my village and the bed where I had once slept were still days away, the Jen'Tar woods welcomed me back. When I first left these woods, I was just a young elf with no clue what was out there in the world but I was convinced there was more and better life than the shelter these trees provided, and there was, but now was time for peace. This was not the first time I had come back, but it was the first time I could remember coming in from hill side rather then up the river that split the woods to the east. I looked for a stump or fallen branch to sit and rest a while, a habit picked up from humans for sure for the forest bed, certainly this forest bed would be plenty of comfort. But as I was drawn inwards, comfort was quick to evade me. Up ahead I heard, no I felt a disturbance. My adventuring instincts turned back on as I stalked what ever it was that was taking my peace. From the first narrow angle, I could see the hind legs of a lovely brown mare, she seem stuck as her legs were trembling, weekly ready to fall. I was just about to call out, to tell her I was here to help when I heard him, no it. I loved nature and my God had long taught me every life was precious, but this was still a thing. Male by birth and by virtue of his member exposed to the breeze but his intentions made him a thing and I was not about to let him have his way, as it turns out, again. He was a runt of a giant, but still more of a match for me physically, so I called on the forest and My God and the foliage responded. Vines and roots grabbed and dragged him to the ground, he struggled at first but in his weakened state from his unforgivable deed, the roots took hold and have him no leverage. He was a permanent part of the forest bed, with only his head able to move. Part of me was willing to say this thing right there and then, but that was not my way and there was more important things to do.
I stayed still for a moment, making sure the beast did not have have kin nearby, then gently called to the mare that I was here to help. As I approached, I became even more disheartened with the situation, for the mare rear legs were shackled, tied to poles and it's hooves has been sunk into the earth; she had been like this for some time. I could feel her quiver as I tried to comfort her but she still recoiled the best she could so I avoided actually rushing her and used a simple rotting control and let the restraints fall on their own. Her front half was stuck between two trees and covered by a sack, I had to circle around the trees and approach from the front where her front legs were similarly bound with the unfortunate bonus of being wedge in a branch of the tree. While the rotting magic let go most of the restraint, I had to bend down and pull the poles out before the mare was able to collapse to it's knees. At that point, she was low enough for me to pull the loose sack off her head. Partly due to the backwards momentum and partly due to what I saw, I fell back with my own dump hitting the not that comfortable ground. This was no mare, the face looking back at me with such pain and sorrow looked like it could be my brother, even my son if I had chose that path. This was an Elven centaur and young, and too ashamed to look me in the eye. I crawled over slowly and said quietly in Elven "I am here for you" and offered my shoulder as tears flowed.
For some time we just sat as she went though my rations and water skins. The healing she needed, my spell could not provide. The Centaur laid her head on my shoulder for some time before finding the strength to speak.
"Thank you" she said quietly.
"Oh, you do speak Elven" I replied as gently as I could. "I only did what had to be done."
" I had almost given up, Not sure if I still haven't but as long as that thing is dead ... " she faded out, afraid to say out loud or concerned with my reaction. I tried to break it to her quickly, but I owed her the full truth.
"Oh, it's not dead, that is not my call to make. The woods will hold him, until you are ready. I will be here for you."
She looked at me again with that look, I accepted but had to give her a look back, not challenging but firm comfort. It took a few moments and a few deep breaths for her to get to her feet. I did not lead, nor guide, but I was by her side. She walked away, slowly before stopping and looking back. I was worried she was going walk away, maybe it was too much for her age, but I had to give her the chance. Almost unintentionally, she wanderer back around, trying not to look and ended up surprising herself by almost stepping on her demon. She stared at it, as it looked up, just able to see and chew through the plants as if it wanted to say something. She did not give him the chance, in a burst of justifiable anger, she kicked it in the mouth with her front hoof and her back hooves did not hit the ground but did hit it's mark as she walked over and away from the worst moment of her short life. I let her walk in silence for for a little, just proud of her decision, and there for her. When she got to the edge of the woods, I had to ask, "So where to now?"
"I don't know your plans, but I'm not going back, not now. I was on my way out and I am still going." she said with conviction.
We kept walking for a moment as I considered how close I was to home, how long it had been, but it really was no choice.
"I'm following you" I said plainly. "I've seen plenty, just let me know what you want to know."
We walked for a while in silence, though she did put her hand on my shoulder. At least we were going forward.
Less than a week into our journey, we were approaching the Pantor river, along the path the human traders use. I had thought we would make better time with a Centaur, even with the distress, but she had to chase every butterfly and look at each new flower as if it was a miracle. At first I let her as part of the healing process, but it was starting to add to my annoyance of not quite making it home. I was leaning against a tree, watching, trying to let her youthful spirit infect me when my ears picked up movement. I tried to signal but she was blissfully unaware as she was bring me a new batch of weeds. Just a few yards ahead, from out of the forest emerged a cloaked female. My companion call out and started to run towards it, she must have know this was not butterfly but still wanted to meet. The stranger did a flip and a somersault, landing facing us with to curved daggers out and her hood fallen revealing her face. Not quiet Elven, clearly she had some human in her, and not a pretty one, but the combination was distinct.
"It's ok!" I called out in Elven, presumptuous I know but I did have two to calm down. "We don't want to fight."
Both the centaur and the half elf stopped and looked at me as I approaches with my hands raised and took place to the side of my new young ward.
"My name is Feckmer, this is Urnami. We are peaceful travelers. What is your name?"
"They call me Ka'yona" the half-elf said with a sigh and she sheathed her weapons, "It is good to meet you"
As the three of us traveled together for the next few days, neither of them shared their secrets with the other, though they seem to quickly become close. Maybe simply because they both were hiding something, or because they were both young and free, at the moment not thinking of their paths. At the time, I was surprised we had not run into any Orc patrols, thinking we were lucky, we certainly were not quiet. That undoubtedly kept the wildlife away, lucky my companions were good hunters and quiet when focused. I was not going to starve without meat, but the other two may have.
We were getting closer to civilization. I knew we would be running into humans sooner than later and I had not yet had the conversation with Urnami. There was one more priority but that, baths. I knew encounters with any traveling humans would not be influenced by our cleanliness, but if we were going to walk inside, we would have work to do. I remember a small lake just off the beaten path and gave the others no choice, though both seemed afraid of the water or something. Urnami insisted on getting a run in first, apparently those of us with only two legs were slowing her down. Ka'yona insisted on total privacy and I insisted on being in within ear shot and watching her gear but I could not get her to let me hold the necklace. The risk of losing it in the water did not seem a good enough reason to trust me, but that trust would come sooner than she thought. I heard her step into the lake, clearly it was cooler that she expected. I felt a little like a mother again, worries that my two charges were so separated, not knowing which one would need me first, or if they would ask. As it turns out it was neither but I for a moment I thought it was Ka'yona and I thought I heard her ask. All I heard was a muffled yell with violent splashing. When I got within eye shot, I saw a dark haired human male, fully dressed, struggling to hold the wet and naked half-elf whom quickly found her footing, separated herself and performed perfect flip kick which sent the assailant back to shore when his head met a rock and he was out. I turned back to make sure Ka'yona was ok, I was once again shocked. She took a breath, pushed back her wet hair from her face before remembering she was naked and covered her privates. Unfortunately, she could not cover her true self at the moment. She looked a bit more muscular, hairier and her skin, not so smooth and a bit more grayish green. Her face was similar but wider with a few extra teeth protruding from her mouth and she stare at me as if to say, 'do you mind'. I did my best to remain calm, as I thought I had known her, I turn my back to her and said simply. "I think you dropped something."
She said some words I had only previously heard in battle with orcs as she splashed in the water looking for her necklace. I examined the head wound on the human as I heard her finish her search, come to shore and get dressed. I was worried for a moment in the silence but was more worried when she spoke. "You should let him die"
I felt history repeating but this was a very different situation and so required a very different response. I stood up and faces her almost threateningly and raised my voice "WE DO NOT KILL, UNLESS OUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT" then took a breath for that to sink in. "I do not know why you are here or what your plans are but THAT is where I draw the line. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
Luckily, she just stood there and lowered her head, understanding the situation. "Yes, miss Feckmer, please let me explain."
But that conversation was going to have to wait as Urnami came thrashing through the brush and the human moaned as he came to. My thoughts raced again as I tried to control the situation. "Everyone just take a second."
I will be honest, I was not focused on what the man had to say, I was distracted by what I was going to say to Ka'yona, if that was her real name. In fact he had to repeat himself and I would not have believed him if not for what apparently only I saw. Even than, most of what he said was crazy and I only used what made sense to help me deal with my new orc friend. I think I heard most of what he said when he finally got to the summary.
"I swear, I was contacted by this guy, Hugh. He teleported me to his home, it was amazing and must have been far away, it felt like we were almost floating. He sounded crazy, maybe that is why I sound crazy but he was a master mage and he told me things no one could have know. He only had one request that I get that necklace", he pointed to what was around the neck of who looked like a half-elf, and being stared at by myself. "The fact that you were beautiful and naked, was just a bonus, I had no idea, but he says it does not belong to you, or does not belong here. I'm just saying."
Maybe I wanted to just move on to the real conversation, he certainly did not strike me as a dangerous man. If he story held any truth, we had more pressing concerns. So I let him go, with some objections from everyone, but at this point I was the only one who had the whole picture in mind. The man himself was reluctant until Ka'yona started to describe the punishment she thought he deserved and went to show him, then he was off like a gypsy dress and I was back to keeping my two wards under control. After all, Urnami still needed her bath.
Normally baths are calming, but this was not, unless you want to consider it a slow release of built up pressure. Urnami needed attentions, she was afraid of getting too deep and so clearly needed help and I made sure Ka'yona helped so we could talk, not about what I wanted to, but at least we were going to talk.
"So Ka'yona, can I call you Kay for short? What do you think of Urnami? Ever been this close to a Centaur? "
"Um, sure, Kay is fine. I have never met or even seen a centaur, but I do like him so far." Kay said before getting a dirty look from Urnami
"Well," I said right away as I patted Urnami to show support. "Actually she is a mare and they consider themselves the sex of their lower half, after all that is how they reproduce. Though I understand your misunderstanding, and unfortunately Urnami, this will be a common misconception of most of the world. After all, Kay is a Half Elf, not a half Human, though in fact she is both, isn't that right? How do you like being called a Half Elf Kay? Does that make you feel insulted?"
I knew it was a leading question and the look on her face told me she understood my question. At this point Urnami that was ready to speak for herself. "Yea, I know that your not exactly half and half, or at lest very unlikely. Why should you think this part is more important than the rest of me" she said gesturing to her two sections. "Maybe I should be happy you don't call me half horse? And" turning her attention to me, "What am I supposed to do if other don't know what I am, where a sign around my neck?"
She was getting a little agitated and I wanted to get back to the point with Ka'yona, but as the words came out, I felt like I was talking to them both anyways and even myself a bit.
"Listen, you can be who you are, that is your right. And how you show yourself to the world is up to you. Just don't be made at them for seeing what they see and not understanding. I have been around and I can tell you both will have enough to deal with. Urnami, if you do wear a chest piece, it will help others see you are the female you consider yourself. Kay, if you cover your ears, you will avoid some conversations that might make you uncomfortable. One way or another you should get comfortable with explaining who you are, sometimes your clothes can help make it easier on you."
We finished the bath in silence. I got myself clean enough and changed quickly as the other two dried off and started to remember how much they liked each other. I kept myself quiet watching them bond over a new reality they were now aware of, and just considered what I was going to do about my new understanding of this reality.
We ended the day working together to make a suitable chest piece for Urnami, not too misleading, stylish armor really. Ka'yone seemed to appreciate the situation as it paralleled her own, and may have even been a bit more kind than me with her words, if I had not know the truth behind them.
"I do not have a lot of experience with humans" she started out honestly, "But I understand they can be a little stubborn in their ways, expecting everyone to conform to their views of normal. Wouldn't you say Lady Feckmer?"
I took her edgy question as an actual question and not the defense she meant it as "There are certainly many that like to be part of a group and in order to do that that often point out the differences in others. But many are just uneducated in how people in a different line of work or different landscape have to live let alone another race from the other side of the world. They are simply too concerned about getting by in their own little world." I did not want to start a war of words so I tried to end it more softly when I realized how what I said seemed a little double edged. "There are places, however, where there is more understanding because they is more openness and more strangers passing through. It will take a while, but I hope to show you both that place someday."
(fade to narrator)
"Our first encounter, the one with the bastard at the lake, seems like a horrible way to start a journey together," a much older Lady Feckmer says to those listening to her ramble. "but it did expose a hidden truth that was better out in the light of knowing." She takes a deep breath. "The second one was the same, but in a very different way."
(Fade Out)
I knew the outpost we were approaching and had been there enough to know that they were accepting of elves, I was not sure about how they would react to a centaur. They were prepared the best I could and we showed up midday to a warm welcome from my friend Brenda, just as I had hopped.
"Well my oh my, my favorite traveler. I hope you brought me new stories as interesting as your companions. So nice to see you again Fekmer." She walked up and gave a big hug to the elf. While they looked the same age, they both knew Fekmer was much older. "And who is this, I don't see a resemblance so just a young friend?" as she approached a nervous Ka'yone. "Hi, I am Brenda, it's a pleasure to meet you?" extending her hand. Ka'yone reached out and shook hands with confusion and doubt before this overly friendly human moved on with even bigger eyes and a bigger smile. "And my, it is certainly an honor to meet you." as she circled Uranami. She instinctively put her hand out to pat the Centaur's hind quarter but pulled back when she fell the tension and fidgeting. She finished the circle a bit further away and when she came back in front of her Brenda curtsied and said in a calm voice. "Please forgive me, I know nothing of you and your kind other than stories, but seeing you here... you may be the most inherently noble creatures I have ever met."
Uranami's nervousness and apprehension quickly faded to embarrassment and humility. "Oh please, I am just Uranami. Hi Brenda." she said extending her hand and giving away her youth and innocence with her tone. Brenda accepted her hand with pure joy and amazement. Lady Feckmer could not be more relived either as they walked the final few steps to the inn.
"I hope you take no offence Uranami, but you will not fit inside, but we do have a nice big window to the stable behind the building. I can show you while Lady Feckmer knows where she is going" Brenda said they reached the door. Uranami did not show her disappointment but simply smiled and followed Brenda.
As soon as Lady Feckmer and Ka'yone were inside and the door was closed, the conversation got real intense. "I PRESUME you have a good reason for hiding your true identity, but I expect you to tell me why you are here before we open that window." Feckmer said in a very un-lady-like tone.
Ka'yone was not surprised of the sudden conversation but was taken aback with the tone. She kept her cool but had a bit of a tone herself. "I PRESUME you understand I am not here to kill you, or anyone for that matter, but if I can be on my way, just say the word."
"I am not sure how far I can trust you, so if you don't mind, I would like you to stay close, we still have a few things to discuss, first and foremost, what are you going to tell Uranami and WHEN?" the elf started lowing her voice as they approached the back when there was a bit of a THUD against the shutter. Lady Feckmer removed the bar and opened it slowly but did not see anyone until she had it fully extended and was putting up the stand, looking down she saw Brenda on the ground looking a little stunned. "What happened?!" she ask.
Brenda shook her her as she stood up "I am sorry, I didn't mean anything.... I just.... I have been around horses my whole life, I know they are not the same, but .. I just put my hand on her .. I did not even think, I just always talk to my horses..."
She was still dragging on and Lady Feckner was trying to drag it out. "It's ok, just tell us" her agitation rising.
"I innocently put my hand on her, like I would any horse and I noticed something so I said as if I was talking to one of my horses... I said someone had a little boo boo, unless your pregnant.... I have no idea why she reacted like that, she knocked me down hard and ran off" Brenda said looking for understanding and forgiveness.
The look on Lady Feckner's face quickly changed to a new kind of concern and she just looked at Ka'yone and simple said "GO!". For her part, the disguised orc did not question or hesitate but simply jumped the window and started chasing after the Centaur. Brenda just had time to step back before being knocked down again, she grabbed a stool and stepped in though the opening. "Is it that bad? How similar to horses are they?" she said as she waved over to the bar for a couple drinks and sat down.
Lady Feckner slumped down in the booth, her mind racing. Did she help? Did she go too far? Was it even possible. She had not been able to gather the words until after her first sip. "I pray you are wrong, I fear you are not." She took a longer drink then Brenda remembered in all previous encounters with the priestess, so she just held out her hand and took a drink herself.
Meanwhile out back, it was not hard to follow Uramami, there was not much of a fence between the stables and the woods. With the head start and the centaur's speed she was still quite a ways before stopping and just letting it all out sobbing, leaning against a tree when Ka'yone caught up. She did not want to have to chase her again so she tired with all her heart to distract from what was going on. "Uramami, I have to tell you something, I'm sorry, your my friend and I should have told you sooner." she said a little short of breath.
"You?..."Uramami was not able to speak much as she tried to control her breathing, her emotions and figure out what Ka'yone was talking about. "What.. about... me?"
"I don't know what is going on yet, I am here for you but I have to tell you something first, please?" Ka'yone stepped in front to take the focus. She waited another moment, gathering the courage for herself and letting the young Centaur fully catch her breath and nod to signal she was as ready as she was going to be. "I am not who you think I am, I have not lied and would not do anything to hurt you, but I ask for you to forgive me." as she pulls out her necklace. "I hope this does not ruin things between us." and she takes the necklace off and sighs, waiting for a response.
