Into the Woods - Session Summaries List
Session: 20230901c - 20230901s
- Michael is a DOCTOR!!!!!!!!! That is so much school, I can't even, congratulations!!!!
- We start the gameplay by the priests doing some healing. Finally. (Just kidding, y'all are allowed to have a life. It's friendly teasing, I promise.) We briefly discuss what we want to ask the farmer about in the morning, and then, we SLEEP.
- In the morning we head back to the farm, and Levi continues to fight the injustice of Phatima being grounded. And then... BREAKFAST! Mrs. Markin made fritters. And now I, Lemon, would like to eat some fritters. (Mental note for Lemon... and also I guess not a mental note since I'm writing it down... but I think there's a way, on the player side, to adjust how many spell bubbles you get per day, so if Michael needs to add more for bonus spells, let me know, I think I might be able to help with that.)
- Mr. Malkin recounts his experience of being kidnapped over breakfast. Someone threw a bag over his head and dragged him to the cave. He heard some chanting. Typical kidnapping. He has no other information, but we try for a LONG TIME to get more information. He does at some point mention something about a bootlegger camp up in the woods, or something like that, but he says they'll be gone soon.
- Mrs. Malkin is just FREAKING OUT THE WHOLE TIME. Other than breakfast, she is 100% useless. Vee asks for gossip, but only gets kid gossip from the kid.
- BOB says only a necromancer or a jungle voodoo priest/witch doctor would create zombies.
- We go back to the cave to see if we can find any new information.
- We burn some bodies. Ava points to a spot above the cave where she saw a shadow, so Vee and Matthias go up there and find a small lookout post and a horn.
- With no particularly useful new information, we make our way back to the Temple (of the Orange Sunsets) to make our report to whoever we have to report to.
- So we're all like, nobody knows anything about the zombies, but we burned them good and found a horn. We did save Mr. Markin though. He's good. No chupacabra as far as we can tell.
- We all get some money as a reward, but the priesties get more. Either because they work for the church, or because they have to give a bunch of it back, who knows. The tithing is pretty strict, it seems. 5 gold for us normies and 8 for the priesties
- Carissa warns that everyone better put it on their sheets correctly! (spoiler alert: they do not.)
The End.
Quotes of the Night
Vee Barlett: I'll put a few in my pocket for Melange. I didn't think he'd sleep in knowing there was breakfast...
Levi Reed: I heard he was having some... er... digestion problems
Jericho: Shakes head
Jericho: Yeah, that's what we'll call it
BOB and pausing here just for a moment
BOB I forgot to go over the Morning resets
BOB I did the healing on my side
BOB but Carissa can you please help Angelica and Michael with resetting spells for the morning
Lemon (Levi Reed): Oh, ok. I thought you were about to stop because of the digestion issues, and I was like, nope, that's cannon
Jericho: hehe
Michael (Jericho): hehe
BOB and Laughs, yes it is.... Melange has digestive issues like a cannon
Vee Barlett: Too bad Levi isn't steady. He could sperlunk the shit out of this place.
Lemon (Levi Reed): My only problem was Lady Markin's anxiety lol. But yeah, lack of gossip was surprising. And it feels like we've reached a dead end, but I'm not sure if that's intended or not
BOB For Lemon was it a bad dead end?
Lemon (Levi Reed): I don't have feelings about whether it was bad or good, it just was
Carissa: it felt drawn out
Carissa: just... beating a dead horse dead end
Carissa: it'd be nicer to know when to stop beating the horse
Rothuss Carder: when it says Neigh More!
Session: 20230825c - 20230825s
- Lemon logs in before Carissa AGAIN. I'm not counting but I feel like I'm winning.
- We left off last week standing across the stream from a couple of zombie goblins. Our priests are not here tonight, so what are we going to dooooo?
- Oh, no big deal, Mini is just going to blast a bunch of them with fire first of all. I mean, first we're going to let Matthias try to stab them or whatever, but he fails so yeah, back to Mini. But people are in the way and stuff, and Mini's not close enough or whatever, so Matthias tries again. And murders a goblin. Good job! But then Mini has a clear shot finally and he murders a goblin with fire. Yay!
- Then Levi is like, enough of this, I want to murder stuff, let me in. And he just jumps in the stream like an idiot and starts slicing and dicing. And misses. And misses. And Vee pulls him back to safety because she loves him, even if she is afraid of feelings and will never admit it.
- Then Matthias kills one again. What are the rest of us even doing here, honestly? And Levi tries to shoot one from across the stream and fails miserably.
- Then Rothuss attacks one, misses, and then they attack back and he's unconscious lying on the floor. Again.
- So Levi is like, heck no! And he jumps back across the stream and stabs twice! And fails! Twice! And Rothuss sister comes to save him, binding his wounds and dragging him back to safety.
- BOB keeps sadistically being like "hahahahah level 1 is so fun guys!"
- Then finally, FINALLY, Levi manages to hit something and kill a goblin.
- So many more attacks and misses and then Matthias kills one again. Dude is like MVP of goblin slaughter right now. And then Levi gets hit and is also unconscious. Matthias kills another zombie.
- MeLange turns up to save the day! He attacks a zombie and... misses.
- One of the goblins is wearing "mangled cyan chaps" and apparently goblins are child-sized so we can't steal their pants and wear them after they're dead, which is extremely unfortunate in this case. Levi could rock those chaps.
- Then finally, FINALLY, FIIIIINALLY Vee lands a hit and the last goblin goes down.
- So the gobbos are finally dead, and we go rescue the farmer. He's all tied up and stuff.
- We loot the goblins, and get some money and stone knives.
- Manage to get the farmer back home, and his wife comes outside and is all like, "thank the gods or whatever for my idiot husband being safe and also my daughter is grounded for chasing after him" which is NOT ok, But Levi is unconscious to make that argument, so we'll circle back around to that next week.
- MeLange is like "you can reward us with breakfast. We'll come back in the morning." Everyone else is like "yep, sounds good" but the farmer's wife just frowns. I don't know why she wouldn't want to get up early and cook breakfast for a bunch of obnoxious teenagers after staying up all night worried about her kid and husband, but different strokes for different folks.
- We head back to the temple for the night and decide to stop there. Because there are no priests to heal us.
Quotes of the Night:
Lorie: What is the source of the Zombies?
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Mommy zombies and daddy zombies kiss, and 9 months later, a baby zombie is brought in by a zombie stork
Carissa: Chupacabra drains their blood, like a vampire, but since it's a mythical beast, it instead creates zombies
BOB You will want some more details from the farmer once he recovers
BOB But normally how do you think Zombies happen?
Carissa: A T-Virus released by an evil corporation
BOB Equally a good explination
Carissa: and/or a necromancer
BOB for the purposes of this adventure
Carissa: Reanimation magic gone wrong. Or right, depending.
BOB Not that 1st level characters are going to go fight off great Necromancers......
Dru5232321: Well, we can try. And then we can find out how zombies are made first-hand
TMO (Rothuss Carder): but maybe sucky necromancers
Carissa: I bet the guy wears a cloak of some yet to be determined color...
Session: 20230818c - 20230818s
- Despite what should have been an easy win for Carissa, Lemon logs in before her.
- We begin the night with trying to figure out who has torches and who is going to carry torches. Since you have to have it in your hand to be using it, the dual-wielders try to get other people to hold them.
- Finally head into the cave and... GOBLINS. We attack, obviously. Because goblins.
- Matthias murders the first one with one hit. Jericho blesses everyone who is within sneezing distance. We play musical torches. Vee loots the dead goblin, which, honestly, who loots during combat. You'd think Carissa would know better. Matthias murders a second goblin. Well, he actually got two, because of a clerical error. (sorta-pun intended). Vee reaches over/through MeLange and Matthias and stabby stabs with a trident, and kills another goblin. Jericho vomits. Apparently the kid hasn't had enough vomit in his life lately. Or has never seen a dead goblin. Idk. He's kind of a rube.
- After the initial swath of goblins, we see two more across a creek. Gray skin and moving very slowly. Very slowly. (If this link doesn't work, Carissa, please fix it for me? Thanks.)
- At this point we also notice some colorful mushrooms all around. Are they involved in this mystery, or just mushrooms? Lirtimya suggests they might be responsible for how weird the gray goblins are acting. Ratbone suggests the goblins are high. (Presumably on the mushrooms?) Levi wants to eat one and find out, but he doesn't say that out loud, because he knows how cranky Vee would get about it.
- Ava is guarding the entrance of the cave and spots some sort of dark shadow. For those of us keeping track, the little girl outside said a dark shape dragged her dad into this cave.
- Levi moves back to closer to the cave opening in case the shape comes barreling in, and Rothuss attempts to talk to the gray goblins, but they seem pretty oblivious.
- Jericho figures out that they are undead, zombie goblins. To which Carissa says "called it!" which she probably did, somewhere up there in those words I skimmed over. So now the question is not "should we murder them" but "how should we murder them."
- Matthias realizes that the only reason they haven't tried to slaughter us is because they're on guard for something on the other side of the stream, and we have not yet attempted to cross the stream. But Rothuss hears someone groaning in pain from somewhere on the other side of them, so we will have to, despite all warnings to the contrary, have to cross the stream. And hope that the dark shape outside was just an excuse for Ava to run into the cave, and not a chupacabra that's going to attack from behind.
Quotes of the Night
BOB Hello Ryan!
BOB Beating both Carissa and Lemon
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I did not lay a hand on either of them
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I am outraged by the accusation
MeLange: Give the man a torch!
MeLange whisper shouted
Levi Reed: Give the man a torch and he sees for a day. TEACH a man to torch...
Matthias Crowtooth: Light a man with torch... and he sees for his entire life.
(Ok, this is verbatim, however the final line in this quote was actually a reply to something unrelated. But it's hilarious out of context so I kept it that way.)
Lemon (Levi Reed): So anyways, this cave...
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): which Matthias can see into suddenly
Shislif (MeLange): yea let's get some action, listen to Lemon
Carissa (Vee Barlett): lol maybe one day
Goblin (Tidy eyebrows) : [Translation] Hello, My name is Tidy Eyebrows, you killed father, prepare to die
MeLange: Hold up, this goblin seems different, perhaps we could talk to him
MeLange: anybody speak goblin?
Matthias Crowtooth: My sword does
Vee Barlett (to the goblins): Ho! Any of you speak Common?
Matthias Crowtooth: I do!
Vee Barlett: sighs
Vee Barlett: This whole time? And you didn't tell me??
Michael (Jericho): The problem is I think I'm witty, but as soon as it leaves my bubble and enters yours, I'm not very witty LOL
Michael (Jericho): :)
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Could be worse. Could be a Ryan and just be obnoxious all the time
Michael (Jericho): You do it very well tho :)
BOB What skill were you going to do?
Michael (Jericho): Diagnostics/Herbalism. One at least
BOB That is a touch so you are going to cross the stream and go over next to them?
Michael (Jericho): Descriptions for Herbalism does not say touch?
BOB It is about checking over someone for poisoning
BOB hard to do that from 18 =feet away
TMO (Rothuss Carder): Nah, Herbalism is Taste. Diagnostics is by Touch. :)
Michael (Jericho): Wait wait wait
Michael (Jericho): One second
TMO (Rothuss Carder): Go lick the goblins
Session: 20230811c - 20230811s
- Carissa logs in before Lemon. BARELY. But I will give her this one. Even though, again, she logged in and then immediately went AFK. And now Lemon is back to her normal work schedule so Carissa can expect to win every day.
- We start out the evening on our way back to the temple to drop off the offering box. (And just because Michael brings it up the week after this... sorry man, you were subject to THE PLOT. As much as MICHAEL might have wanted Jericho to deliver the box before going to the tavern, BOB's impetus for this meetup was that Jericho wanted to stop at the Seven Sirens. And at the time, you did not argue it. How could you? It was the royal decree.)(Ok and also because it came up this week, pretty sure Michael and BOB were both correct... supposedly Jericho got a pity night off due to being vomited on so much, but also Hyacinth was clear about supervising him while he locked up, so kind of a contradiction there, but also maybe his night off wasn't supposed to start until after he locked up and he misunderstood, due to lack of clarity from whoever gave him the night off.)
- Jericho is like oh man, this is all our fault, Hyacinth tried to get the box back. But I, Lemon, would argue that maybe abandoning the people you were assigned to watch over to run off into the night with the cash isn't a good look, and maybe it worked out better for her that she didn't just leave them there in the middle of a bar brawl. (To her credit, she did mention that she was worried about leaving "the acolyte" in danger.) And then Jericho tries to get info out of Bredin, some church guy come to collect us, because he DOESN'T TRUST US. (And rightfully so. I'll let you decide which one of them doesn't trust us. Either way it's still rightfully so.)
- When the box is safely returned, Jericho puts in a copper to try and make up for being an idiot. BUT HE DIDN'T SPEND IT PROPERLY ON HIS CHARACTER SHEET, HE ONLY WROTE IT AND I DEMAND ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THE CASH. Only because we're young and broke right now. And Michael is notoriously... hmm, how to put this nicely... generous.
- Jericho is a very persistent little guy. He keeps asking about anti-venoms. Over and over and over again. Dude, it's a mythical beast. You really think anyone is going to have solid science on this thing? Or that BOB would give you that information?
- There's a lot of hilarious banter between Vee, Jericho, and Levi. Ava keeps trying to be like, "You guys, maybe stop being disrespectful to priests" but sorry, we are teenagers, that's kind of our job. Hyacinth just ignores everyone the whole time.
- We arrive at a farm, and some Darkboon guy tells us that Mr. Markin was yelling for everyone to run, and then he suddenly stopped. There are drag marks though. No blood at the scene.
- Levi wants to hurry up and go, because what if this dude is like bleeding out in the woods, we need to get there ASAP. Jericho still wants to get the information first. He asks Hyacinth if she has any thoughts. She says she has many, but does not share them with the group. Ratbone is playing music, Vee is being Vee, Ava is trying to take the blame for this misadventure, but she's the only priest who actually wasn't on duty so that doesn't seem fair.
- You know what happens next? Dun dun DUNNNNNNNN... figuring out how to use the party sheet to set the walking order. Angelica figures it out first. This feature comes back to bite us a little bit later, but for now, we move along.
- Hyacinth spots a trap in a tree branch, but doesn't really say it, she just says that the tree branch is "designed to smack us in the head" and Levi is like, that's trees for ya. Unfortunately, she fails her trap roll and gets whacked by the branch.
- Again, Jericho with the delays. He wants to check for broken ribs instead of going to help the farmer we're supposed to be helping. dude is SO uptight.
- We come across a guy named Rysdan Runebraid, which sounds like it should be a dwarf name but I guess it isn't. He's very... reluctant to offer any information and kind of tells us to get out of here, kids. But when Ava mentions the chupacabra, he opens up a little bit. Definitely trying to protect his moonshine business hiding in the woods or something, but he does get a little nicer and tell us there's nothing to see here, check the other trail. Which we do!
- We find more drag marks, and two mansized footprints, and four or six smaller than mansized footprints. Which I, Lemon, interpreted wrong at the time. After some further footprint information, I deduced that there was one set of bootprints, one set of children's footprints, and drag marks. And that's the TL;DR that I kept giving people who weren't there for that part, so sorry y'all, I might have inadvertently misled you about what we saw.
- And then we find a set of footprints going off the path and into the bushes, and we find a little girl, hiding and crying.
- Side note for Carissa and myself: Carissa seems to think Levi is supposed to have hide in shadows and move silently, so we need to check on that.
- Ratbone decides to go in and see what's up with the kid. She's like, super gentle, which is the opposite of most of the rest of us, so good call there. She sings her a little song (which calms down the crying girl AND Jericho), and the girl tells us that her dad was taken into the cave by a dark shape, and that she's afraid to go home, because she'll be in trouble because she couldn't save her dad.
- After she shows us which way the cave is, we send her back to her home with Matthias and Rothuss. Even without being logged in, they're being so helpful! Just look at them take on this escort quest!
- Jericho gives her a copper because little kids go crazy when you give them a coin, they think it's a big deal. And LEVI SPENDS IT PROPERLY IN THE SPENDING TAB OF THE CHARACTER SHEET, MICHAEL!
- And here we stop for some planning. Michael tries to do continual light, and is vetoed. Then he tries to cast Bless on Levi and is vetoed again. We're still planning! Stop trying to DO stuff! But yet we keep trying! We keep talking about torches and light spells and on and on, and BOB is like, omg, can you please just line up? And like, we're trying to figure it out, we really are. But we're not great at this new (to some of us) feature yet. Also, you can only move your own character, so it takes some discussion before finalizing anything, because everyone (or BOB) has to move each character. And this part takes SO LONG that we don't actually make it to the part of the adventure where we cast anything or go into the cave. We spend the rest of the evening working out the order.
Quotes of the Night
Lemon (Levi Reed): You're good! TL;DR, we came looking for the chupacabra, but we found a girl hiding in the bushes who is crying because she tried to save a "shape" that took her dad but she couldn't. Ratbone is singing and talking to her now.
Lemon (Levi Reed): nope. Tried to save her dad who was taken by a "dark shape"
Shislif (MeLange): cool thx Lemon
Lemon (Levi Reed): She didn't save the shape.
Shislif (MeLange): hey some shapes can't be saved
MeLange: I love taking down monsters, the bigger the better
Levi Reed: And I love that about you, Mel
MeLange: Thanks Levi, I love that about me too
Jericho: Can you come here sweetheart? I can't see you in the bushes. My eyesight isn't the best
Lemon (Levi Reed): You're 15!
Lemon (Levi Reed): Your eyesight is fine!
Spring (Ratbone Carder): hey, my eyesight sucked at 15
Michael (Jericho): It's dark!
Carissa (Vee Barlett): At 15?? My eyesight was shot at 7, man
Michael (Jericho): And I wore glasses at 16 LOL
Lemon (Levi Reed): I only have glasses for screentime, which I don't use. But I do have vision insurance starting this year, so maybe I'll go get a check just to see where they're at.
Carissa (Vee Barlett): Got mine checked today! They still suck. Both eyes. A few points from legally blind rate I'm at
Lemon (Levi Reed): that explains your driving
Carissa (Vee Barlett): it's fine, at this point I just wanna get going
Carissa (Vee Barlett): Jericho maybe move your icon on that center circle
Michael (Jericho): I know carisaa and I'm sorry, but I'm trying to understand how the grid works
Carissa (Vee Barlett): Sorry sorry let me channel TMO for you
Carissa (Vee Barlett): TMO: MATHHHHHHHH
