Student Loans - Session Summaries List
Wendy the summary goes here
- Are we out of the caves yet? After 84 years. Is the Church of Mists a thing? Apparently so. But church means churchy folk, and no one wants to talk to churchy folk.
- Most memorably, Priest Aien Mountainbane gets on some people’s nerves. And by some people I mean Vee because she’s definitely NOT a pirate. Levi contemplates committing more pod murder because his brain noodles don’t accept hoity-toity priests. The rest probably have their own thoughts and opinions, but they all decide to suck it up for proper bed and food.
- According to BOB it’s been a week since then. Another priest by the name of Gared Bizaveron draws the short end of the stick and gets stuck with waking them up. How early is too early for these people? We’ll never know.
- At least the food is nice, right? Yep, but SIKE! The nice things aren’t free. According to Priestess Namyriitha Holiilo and Priest Agap Pankin with their mile-long list, it takes work to run a church. Which kinda sounds like a YOU problem, Church of Mists, but apparently fighting through a cave full of weird experimented pod-people isn’t enough to pay for a little sanctuary.
- Long story short, Vee oversees fish-breeding, Temperance is writing about it, Lirt is cooking, Ratbone goes off to help keep some birds clean, and the rest are getting reacquainted with math to get rid of a landslide. Matthias might’ve been sent off to get the goods back to the Temple of Orange Sunsets because he needs to get back into their good graces.
- Vee and Fiolx get into a heated discussion about whether anyone should give two flying flippits about fish consent. There might have been some conversation about mermaids and selkies and something about upstream towards the mountains. Taking note, might be important later.
- So while the Landslide Team gets to work and sleep, Vee, Temperance, Lirt, and Ratbone get audience with Priestess Jaane Cinderbreaker of the 7th circle, guide of Gorby, heights of the sky eagle, depths of the wereshark. So remind me why these titles are so long?
- Vee says we got some intel on that weird cave that you might want, so give us what we want.
- Vee and Temperance go into some detail about scrolls and documents and that weird fungal staff that controls pods. Priestess Jaane decides that last one shouldn’t be roaming out in the wild. Lemon and TMO remind everyone that priests are entitled to taking things, so let’s hope that the Church of Mists aren’t in on, oh I don’t know, creating a whole pod army. Not proven, just a conspiracy that’s been running around.
- Temperance and Lirt agree to switch off on making copies. The weird language gives them a lot of grief, given they don’t understand a single word of it, but they muddle through for that free training. If Temperance starts sleepwalking douse her in holy water, she might be possessed by demonic language or something.
- In the span of three weeks, the landslide clears and Temperance finishes her training. During some evening of two half moons, Vee and Melange stumble upon fortune-telling Priestess Chalsarda Starnar (related to Priestess Allyna Starnar?) that tell them vague things about buildings and homes and birth names. I’m not going to attempt to analyze that, good luck you two.
- Next chapter? I’m guessing visit Mr. Frosty the Snowman in the mountains someplace. Stay tuned and on your toes, and may our lives be with us till the end.
Quotes of the Night
Carissa: Well given Vee isn't the empathetic type, she will push you towards the touchy feely ones ;)
Michael: LOL
Carissa: And Alcien was fine, Lemon hated dealing with him too but he's barely a blip on the radar for Vee
Michael: Just super pissed at the priest guy
BOB Vee would push you to being touchy feely around his throat
Michael: LOLOLOL
Michael (Jericho): (Hey guys, I just had a crazy idea! Let's form our own religion, and boss people around if they partake of our food. Imagine the hijinks we could get up to!)
Carissa (Vee Barlett): lol
Lemon (Levi Reed): I'm in
Michael (Jericho): Bob, I don't want to read this entire guide again. Weeps. But I will if you need. Can I tell you stats and we go from there? Might be quicker
Michael (Jericho): (Big .pdf file)
Carissa (Vee Barlett): the rules determine how fast that'll happen
Michael (Jericho): So....let bob figure out the rules and I feed him stats?
Michael (Jericho): :D
Carissa (Vee Barlett): might be on the building dragon fen page
Lemon (Levi Reed): wait are you talking about Math?
Lemon (Levi Reed): Because no thank you
Michael (Jericho): Where's TMO when you need him. He eats these damn problems
Fiolx of Crazy Arrow Tribe: Who the hell cares what fish think? You need to scoop that spawn out
Vee Barlett: Sure but whatcha gonna do with it?
Michael (Jericho): So, that is the story of how Fiolx, was found dead in a pool of blood, being nibbled by fish
wyjyoon (Temperance): "Here lies Fiolx, shanked to death and sleeping with the fishes"
BOB and so Vee and Temperance are there with the fish
BOB Ratbone is cleaning cages
BOB Lirt is baking tonight's bread
BOB and the rest are doing math
Carissa (Vee Barlett): HAHAHA SUCKERS
BOB Levi earn another WP at 4th level
Lemon (Levi Reed): Oh, then I want knives
Lemon (Levi Reed): All I have for close up is punching and I want something a little bit sharper. After that I think I'm just going to hoard them until something good comes along
wyjyoon (Temperance): More people that can shank, yay
TMO (Rothuss Carder): We are .... The Shankers!
Michael (Jericho): The Dragon Shanker Society™ (putting ™ because I feel like it :D - Wendy)
- Vee decides to leave the canoe, although I'm pretty sure it breaks her heart to do so.
- Carissa decides that Levi will buy Temperance an adventure pack for teaching him botany. And then she calls him frugal, which is so rude. He's find spending money all over the place, he just isn't going to hand it over to a group fund. That's why when we got that haul, we put half in the party pack! Levi already gave up half his money, ok!? Jeez.
- So we stock up on some food, Spring becomes Parry the mule, and we're off! We find a fork in the road or something, and Levi leads everyone deeper into the jungle. Why? I don't know. But, spoiler alert, turns out we get there ok, so guess it was a good enough choice.
- As dusk arrives, we must decide. Camp or keep going? It seems stupid to try and go through jungle in the night, so we decide to camp. We find a nice little convenient island in the middle of the river. Log bridge leading to it, and the house is in ruins. Matty and Vee get into a scuffle. Like a lover's spat, but way more physical. Or maybe lover's spats are already physical, what do I know.
- We head across the fallen log (this is what I meant by log bridge... just a fallen log... or maybe a purposeful log, but definitely not a like, bridge built for easy travel) and everyone makes it but Lirt and Parry. Ratbone... decides to swim? For fun I guess? So anyway Vee helps Lirt up on to the island, Rothuss helps Ratbone, and MeLange, Matty, and Vee all try to help Parry.
- Once across, we inspect the house for treasure or threats and find... fishing gear.
- Levi spots doors to a basement, and we get all ready to check it out with torches and a lineup and everything... and it turns out to be a broken chest full of..................... wait for it............ more fishing gear. Not sure why people ever listen to Levi.
- Levi heads around the back of the house to find.......... wait for it......... some rocks and trees. Not even interesting ones.
- Time for watches!
- First up, Jericho and MeLange. They spot some movement in the trees, but nothing else, and then they wake up Parry to ask her how she's doing. She thinks she's dreaming because people are suddenly talking to her. Then she flirts with Jericho just a little bit before falling back asleep.
- Next is Levi, Rothuss, and Ratbone. A leopard goes after Parry! NOOOOOO, not Parry! Not like this! Not after Nikolai! So anyway Levi machetes it pretty good, and it runs away. Parry is safe! Long Live Parry! Ratbone and Rothuss sing Parry back to sleep.
- Final watch belongs to Vee, Matty, Lirt, and Temperance. Lirt, ever the sensible one, scrounges up some bait and does some fishing.
- Breakfast time! Everyone wakes up. Everyone, including Parry, seems to be fine. We continue our adventure and quickly find the church we're looking for... poking out of a waterfall? Levi pokes a branch into the nearest water... it's very shallow at the edge and then a sudden drop off to an unknown depth.
- The end.
Quotes of the Night
This one is out of context, but still so good
Michael: You know I hadn't really thought about it. I guess they maybe drank themselves into a Blackout as the next best substitution?
Spring: Crap, I still need to do that. Thanks for reminding.
I included this one because TOO REAL
BOB This is the first time the group has gone out without any help from the church
Carissa (Vee Barlett): what help did they offer with the goblins????
Shislif (MeLange): they were helping?
BOB Buy now pay later
BOB The Church's interest rate is just heavenly
Michael (Jericho): God, you really are leaning into Student Loans. You offering 8.1 percent interest too? Want a kidney while you are at it bob????
BOB Your kidneys are shot Michael, you need to bring me a new fresh one
MeLange: haven't we all, at one or point or another, thrown our poop at a person?
Jericho: You didn't? Did you/
Jericho: Looks at MeLange.
MeLange: let the person who is poop free throw the first poop, i say
Rothuss Carder: I think we can push on for a little bit longer. I'm not tired, any of you?
Matthias Crowtooth: I'm a little tired from watching Vee carry her canoe, but I am okay to carry on.
BOB 'no canoe
Carissa (Vee Barlett): (she doesn't have it, sadly)
Matthias Crowtooth: I'm a little tired from watching Vee carry her massive ego, but I'm okay to carry on.
Vee Barlett: What house?
MeLange: I say we go for it, house looks nice
Vee Barlett: Oh. How long that been there?
Jericho: Uh...you mean the creepy ruined house MeLange? In the middle of a stream?
MeLange: yea it's not creepy... just misunderstood
BOB Spring are you there to answer for Parry?
Spring (Parry the Mule): Uh yeah, you guys are waking her up?
Shislif (MeLange): apparently
Shislif (MeLange): lol
Shislif (MeLange): we wanna wake her up and ask her how she's doing
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I do the same thing with my wife. Wake her up, talk to her for a few minutes until I can go to sleep, and let her stay up for another four hours.
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I'm a man, and I don't need a bathroom when I am outside
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I'm a man, and that means I don't need a bathroom, rather
Lemon (Levi Reed): But there's one RIGHT THERE
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Next you will be asking me not to pee on the toilet seat....
Carissa (Vee Barlett): you better put the seat down or so help me
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): How else will I pee on it?
Lemon (Levi Reed): It doesn't look like this one has a seat
Shislif (MeLange): haha someone else peeing on stuff for once
- Bob reveals the name of the new Arc! Student Loans! dun dun DUUUUUUNNNNNNN. Scariest one yet.
- Then omg SO MUCH LOGISTICS. Which no thank you. Lemon's brain does not work in this way. Or in most ways. But definitely not this one. Like MAYBE if it was a life or death situation... maybe. But anyway if you want to know how long it took who to do what to who with where and how, you can go read about it in the chat. Enjoy all the witticisms that do not make it into the summary quotes. There are a lot. But here are the basics that I caught and MAY HAVE understood.
- Levi is learning Botany from Temperance.
- MeLange is learning Alertness from Levi. Because Lemon and Sharif will always be besties.
- Lirt is getting 2nd level spells and is paying in favors. Acid Arrow for the first. Unsure of the second.
- Jericho is getting 2nd level spells and is paying in favors.
- Rothuss is getting a level of thief skills mysteriously. And he learns Expeditious Retreat.
- Vee is learning Shipwrighting from Levi's family. They're giving her a discount, but it's kind of a shitty discount considering she's basically family. But then again, Levi has reasons for not sticking around home forever.
- BOB sums it up thusly: BOB Week 1 everyone starts, end of week 2 Jericho finishes 2nd level spells..... end of week 3 Levi finishes learning Botany from Temperance..... end of week 6 Lirt finishes 2nd level spells...... end of week 9 Matty learning one level of thief skills.... end of week 10 Melange learns Altertness from Levi, end of week 11 Rothuss learns 1st level spells from Lirt and Vee learns Shipwright skill ... total cost at the end is 500 Gold and owing 1 favor for Lirt and 1 favor for Jericho
- So then it's on to the IC stuff, where the church people invite the elite few (Jericho, Vee, Temperance, and Matty for some reason) into a special meeting for special people.
- There's some brewing mats that didn't get delivered. They tried contacting Amazon customer service to get a refund or a replacement, but it turned out that didn't exist yet in this made up fantasy world, so they're sending us to find out what happened to it.
- We have to go to the super spooky "Church of the Mists" and they will give us further info.
- Oh, apparently Matty works for the temple. Now I understand why he got to go the secret clubhouse meeting
- Levi decides to hate goblins instead of monkeys, because Lemon misunderstood the enemy thing and doesn't want to murder innocent monkeys. Goblins though... meh.
- Vee decides to hate scrags.
- The Great Mule Debate ensues. Do we take a mule into the jungle? Do we take a canoe? Eventually we get info that mules are cheap as free (8 gold) so Levi buys/rents/leases one. But the canoe? What will we DO about the CANOE? Find out next week! And by next week I mean tomorrow!
Quotes of the Night
BOB So just to make sure that everyone understands the gravity of the new Story Arc - the name is.........
BOB Student Loans
JtomTMO (Lirtimya): Oh great, well, we won't be out of this arc for another couple decades
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Ignore the screaming mafia princess right behind us
TMO (Rothuss Carder): is it safe to ignore screaming mafia princesses?
wyjyoon (Temperance): She might try to shank you
Carissa: she will
Carissa: better bled clean or she'll be mad
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): We'll hear her coming. It is fine.
wyjyoon (Temperance): How does one "bleed clean"?
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): You bleed them out and then sanitize the stab wounds
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): With Vee, it might take a while because she be stab-happy
wyjyoon (Temperance): Ah, understandable
wyjyoon (Temperance): Shanking sounds like her specialty
Michael (Jericho): Is there a NWP for "Shanking?"
Carissa: ...is there??
TMO (Rothuss Carder): it involves using a weapon
Michael (Jericho): Is there a weapon speciality called "Shanking?"
Michael (Jericho): semantics
Michael (Jericho): Don't you come back and say small blades
Lemon (Levi Reed): Is shanking a specific weapon?
Lemon (Levi Reed): Because shiv could definitely be "weaponsmithing, crude"
Lemon (Levi Reed): Not sure about shank though
BOB Broard Group Blades will give you dozens of options in shanking
Michael (Jericho): I knew bob would take shanking and give it a proper term
Carissa: (must rethink if I want broad group blade.s....)
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