The Diary of Vee Barlett
Penalty for unauthorized access is death. I'm talkin' to you, Leo. Bug off, you bedwetter.
List of aliases: Violet, Vetti, Valencia, Vela, Valentina, Viola, Virgo, Via, Vita, Vera, Valerie, Victoria, Vanya, Vivian, Vanessa, Venus, Verity, Vienna, Vani, Vicky, Velvet, Velella, Vineta, Veronica
05-10-586 SGR - 20231027s
A price in reputation? With the last name of Barlett? What a joke.
Are all men so damn hot blooded? I asked Pa once, but I think he thought I was shamin' him and I didn't mean to, his life choices and all, that's all fine and good, but I ain't just his offspring. I'm his daughter, and that gets all complicated, yeah?
Them sleezeballs growing up who heard them stories about Pa? Then for some reason think just cause we be sharin' the same last name, I'd be makin' the same choices, be an easy lay. Hope they're all rottin' at the bottom of the sea. Or at least parts of 'em are rottin' off.
When Dad gave me that damnable lipstick, he told me there ain't no shame in usin' what was Goddess-givin' to me. Tried to make it un-complicated, tell me to think of it as a means to an end if I had to, a tool like others they taught me, but that I could have fun, too. They're so positive 'bout it all, maybe they feel bad that I have complicated feelings around it? Guessin' Dad had to figure his own ways to accept Pa's life choices, but ain't that easier as his partner than his daughter? And gods, was "the talk" as awkward for other kids as it was for me? The dolphins and the seas. Ugh. What a stupid euphemism.
And again, I ain't mad at Pa's choices. I'm mad when others be thinkin' we'll be alike. How can I let loose when that's hangin' over me? How can I know if they really be thinkin' I'm lovely when their end goal is clear? Honestly, I still find it hard to be believin' someone could think that unironically which is why I don't ever try to look lovely. At least the sea's clear how it feels without all that manipulatin', confidence confusin' nonsense about. Which is to say it don't care, and that's refreshin'.
It ain't about reputation, not in the way it was implied, improper an' all, although I suppose maybe it ain't bad for others to be thinkin' so, but it is about makin' a name for myself. I ain't trying to be a charmer, not like Pa, but if that's what life tosses at me, I gotta find a way to come to terms with it. Make a game outta it or somethin'?
Hmm, maybe I'll be sending DeOrange's clothes back to him with a kiss mark on 'em... I gotta think 'bout that, but if he's gonna be playin' me, only fair to do the same back, yeah? At least I know I'm worth some well-aged rum. That's a good thing, I think? Maybe? Damn, I wish this weren't so complicated for me.
Anyways, love my dads, but I gotta be my own person in more ways than one. And I gotta take a nice, long dip in the sea. That's where my heart really belongs.
05-12-586 SGR - 20231110s
Lovin' someone means acceptin' them and all of their flaws.
Who told me that? If it was Pa then there is a LOT of irony to it. If it was Dad then maybe it's 'cause he really has to live by that, yeah? Damn. I wish I could remember.
There ain't no way Dad don't know, but I don't like talkin' about it because it makes me mad so I don't talk about it, and I ain't ever brought it up with him. And maybe he's fine with Pa keepin' his ways? Pa claims it don't mean nothing. Their marriage, not mine, but it always makes me feel like Pa ain't doing right by Dad, and maybe sometimes I get a little worried Dad will leave Pa, too, like Emilia left. I don't think he will, but I ain't ever found a way to get rid of that fear completely.
And sometimes, too, Pa makes me feel a little insecure, yeah? He don't mean to, but it's a bit hard when your best skill is makin' someone feel like the most important person in the world. That's how he keeps winnin' over these boneheads. I'd hear it all the time, those gossipers on the street, them ladies and gents having brunch.
"Oh my goodness, he looked this way! Oh, swoon and sigh, we spent the night together! Oh gushy gushy, he chose me!"
Gag and barf. But ya know, that little worm gets in yer brain, yeah? Those kids on the street then point out to you that you ain't his only offspring. Who says he ain't gonna just toss you aside like he does them boneheads after he gets what he wants from them? Why's he consider you blood and not them half-siblings? He makes everyone feel special so how do you know yer the exception, that he really does feel different 'bout you?
And then Pa goes and offers to off someone if they be botherin' me, and that worm shuts right up again. Not to mention I ain't sure anyone else could barge in on him next mornin' like that and not get an earful. When Pa gets mad, yeah, I can see why he might be considered the scarier dad to them others. Damn, I do love him, though. Flaws and all, I suppose. Ain't changing him at this point, yeah? But, for the record, he can't ruin what he's got with Dad because I ain't sure I could forgive him for that. And he knows it.
Glad he stopped expectin' me to be nice to his overnight boneheads, though. I wonder if that's why it took longer for me to find out about Rocco? Hmm, maybe there was somethin' special there early on...
I hate all them thoughts. They clog my brain with feelings I don't wanna feel. Really meant to try to figure out Pa's point about this stupid rum ordeal. Why DID they choose me? I suppose I never gave it as much thought as I shoulda, but with how much Pa found suspicious about it all, I can't ignore it now, yeah? And now I can't unsee it all. Why would they invite us to that fancy party for savin' a simple farmer? We can't be the only ones who ever done a thing, yeah? Not like we caught the guy who kidnapped him, neither. So you get a fancy party invite for a half-assed job? Don't seem right anymore.
Gotta think back on it all. Such as who is the Head Trainer who thought we were best suited? Was the stolen rum gonna be gifted to some noble? Would the Temple really let a noble have their stamp as a gift? Hilde says only a few of 'em in the Temple knew about the stamp, but now they lookin' shadier than my family, yeah? Dealin' with the Malkin family ain't a delicate task so how ya jump from needin' rough and tumble to we good for delicate work? I don't think Hilde is the problem here, she told me what she knew and trusted me based on them recommendations of Ava, Hyacinth, and Jericho.
So who the hells is the Head Trainer that they even convinced Michel to send us on this damn task? I suppose I should wonder 'bout how the stamp got in the old rum, but I'm more bothered by what games they be playin' with me. I really gotta think on this, but ain't gonna lie. More I think about it, more joy I think I'm gonna get by holdin' it all over their heads when I take Pa's advice for returnin' it.
Addendum: Ok, yeah, I bet Dad knows, and they got rules around it, like waitin' 'til he's outta the house, but works with it 'cause Pa being... Pa is profitable in the end, yeah? And they ain't built all this from nothin', yeah? But while I know I ain't had a normal childhood, maybe I like havin' my fantasies and ignorin' parts of the reality. Maybe some days I like pretendin' I got two lovin' parents and there ain't nothin' more to it than that...
05-13-586 SGR - 20231117s
Forgot Hilde was above Michel. Oops. Well, glad I hedge my bet right there, but I ain't happy that she did indirectly confirm Pa's thoughts on why I was sent. And speakin' of, what's she know about my family?? And by tellin' me about them other missin' stamps, that mean I can't try to get them for myself 'cause she'd know it was me? Tangled deep in this indeed. These jobs she be sending me on better start payin' off...
08-02-587 SGR - 20240301s
Got meself a fortune on an auspicious night. I ain't sure yet how I feel about it. Priestess Chalsarda Starnar used some kinda silk cloth and moonlight for the readin', something I ain't seen before. I asked her if there were somethin' interestin' comin' up, a big break, given I feel like the tide is guidin' me lately and not the wind and my own sails. Lemme see if I can summarize her findings:
The ring she used highlighted a ship and a triangle and when she be openin' the bunched cloth, a bird appeared. She be interpretin' it as, "You will have a ship, you will have a home? A building? But you will have to stop traveling for that to happen" but when I said that ain't soundin' nice, she said, "Perhaps it is you have to travel to get them? I know you would feel that more, but the traveling was caught, stopped, and it seems to be something that ....As I said when we feel it causes us to think" which don't really help none, either.
As we tried untanglin' it, she suggested that maybe "It could be that you continue traveling and until you stop that you will not have your home" but that don't make no sense to me 'cause I always got a home with Pa and Dad if I need. Even the priestess says that seems more poetic than fortune. She don't think my omen a bad one, and Haats wondered if it might mean I won't stop travellin' but who knows? Maybe it ain't so clear 'cause I gave her only two of my three names, but the name Pa gave me worth more than the worthless one my mother gave me, yeah?
Priestess Chalsarda suggested I share this with others who "might help clear it up for you" but who'd that be? Maybe she meant another priest if I see one, and that's an idea. Melange heard it, and seems interested in fortune tellin' so don't mind that. Jericho and Levi be laughin' at my interest in fortune telling, and much as I love Lirt, this too mystical for a brain like hers, and betcha that applies to Tempe, too. The twins don't take nothin' seriously enough to talk to them. Kinda just confirms they all just friends, not family, so ain't gonna share it.
So that leaves Pa, Dad, and Leo, and ain't sure for that, neither. Pa knows lots of them omens, shared them with us often when we was little, like the bottled messages, but ain't sure he truly believes in them. Dad definitely knows omen, and takes some of them sea ones seriously. He'd have understood why shootin' down an albatross was bad. Maybe gotta introduce him and Mr. Ross next time I see him. But this ain't a sea omen, so not sure if Dad'll have as much insight.
And damn, all this be doin' is makin' me realize I be missin' my partner in crime. Ain't no doubt in my mind Leo would have some insight in that brain of his given he's just as interested in fortunes as me. He's the quiet, calculative kind to my loud, brash kind. I'll make noise when I shank ya like a rattlesnake, but Leo will slip up on ya and shank ya like a widow with none the better. I hope whatever hunch he's chasin' right now be worth it.
But he knows omens, too, yeah? We always looked for them when we was little. He's smart, like Lirt and Tempe, but he knows fortunes hold power, too. Well, guessin' I'll just keep this all in mind, and when fortune brings our paths back together, I'll bring it up to him if I ain't figured it out before that. Hope them moons be shinin' brightly on his path right now. Ain't matter where ya are, Leo. I still got yer back, brother.
04-26-587 SGR - 20240621s
Finally got out of them damn mountains. Ain't nothin' better than the smell of the ocean fillin' the lungs. Missed it more than expected. Lake was nice n' all, but it ain't no ocean. At least it got mermaids in it, yeah? Still mad we didn't come back by water. I was lookin' forward to meetin' Thurmund again. But I supposin' there's still plenty of other mermaids in the sea to meet.
Missin' Violette some, too. I mean, ain't too upset she stayed. Prettiest girl I've seen in awhile, and definitely lookin' her up if I ever (gods forbid) find myself back up in them damn mountains. But ain't sure she's ready to tag along with the lifestyle, yeah? Just hopin' she finds a path that makes her happy. Can't believe her ma wants her to settle down with a man. Gross.
Anyways, damn Temple askin' for favors again. And I ain't keen to help them, but thinkin' they too knowledgeable for their own good, yeah? Joycelyn Pemberton claims Pescal wanted to give us the chance to learn and grow, and a chance at treasure, but that's complete bullshit. I ain't into treasure when I'm owin' it to someone else for findin' it.
Thinkin' its got more to do with the politics and knowin' I might got interest there. I got theories, but I'll see what Tempe finds out from the Cathedral and his letter before I form them more. It ain't bad to end up on the Duke's good side, but more than that, gotta protect the western shore trade routes, yeah? If they in trouble by extension of Duke bein' in trouble then I'm gonna have to be involved. Damn Temple.
Gonna see what Pa and Dad gotta say about it all among other things. Besides tryin' to sell that poison to 'em to keep it in a controlled market, I gots questions. Why Snow Man know them and who is he? What family own a ship that read G R Y with red circle and yellow center on it? What they know about mermaids? And do they got any good way for me to breath underwater besides potion?? Gonna be hard to date a mermaid if I only got an hour before I drown. Oh, and did Pa ever date a mermaid?? Probably should ask Pa about Hilde, too. How she know about our family? Can't forget that fortune I got neither. Hmm, lots of questions for them. Hope they ready.
Note to Self: Don't be forgettin' Mr. Ross! If he still around, maybe he wanna come to Osterhold with us?
05-02-587 - 20240719s
Good news is Cathedral actually gave us someone competent to help out with this Duke nonsense. Zora can actually walk on two feet and hold her own, 'scept against Scrags. Well, ain't none of them great against scrags, apparently, except maybe Lirt, my good first matey. Bad news is I'm all hung up on Mizzen and the damn orange. Pa always says I'm good at holdin' grudge, 'specially when someone royally pisses me off. Always a chance I ain't gonna see him, but Mizzen ain't big and the fates be havin' a sense of humor I don't always agree with, yeah?
But that's a later problem. Gots me a new dagger for it, at least. Ain't nothin' too special unless I'm eatin' oysters or wantin' to poke some new holes in someone. Thorndike wears lots of hats for me dads and gots an easier time sayin' no to me which I Do Not Like. Pretty sure I earned a magical weapon by just bein' me, but he disagrees. Jerk.
Worse was I was already off balance so I couldn't even try to manipulate 'em! Apparently Pa thought I was lost in The Bowl and it worried him somethin' sick. He gave me a big ole' bear hug from outta nowhere minute he spotted me! Now I expect that from Dad, sure, but Pa? I ain't sure last time he gave me a hug like that one. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, yeah? Part of me wants to question it, but it make me too happy so just gonna enjoy those lingerin' fuzzies while I can.
Anyways, I'm still stuck on the mermaid thing. Guess it the other side of my coin, yeah? I don't let grudges go and I don't let intense curiosity go. Dad says ya shouldn't kiss a mermaid 'cause they'll drown ya, but that's just an old wives tale. Er, well, no, it true, ain't no doubt about that. Mermaids ain't the only one who'd drown somethin' they don't like, but not sure it adds up still? That Fiolx dude claim they can walk on land until they get kissed, but ain't say what happens to the one they kiss. He ain't elaborate when I pressed him, neither. Thurmund say he gonna make me forget everythin' but I heard similar from other dudes before, yeah? So that might just be a flirtin' thing. He swam away too fast for me to find out.
So is there more to them mermaids or it a different thing he thinkin' about? I mean I'm kinda fascinated 'cause I just find underwater life fascinatin' and maybe moreso after not followin' Thurmund, but, ya know, I feel like I need to know what not to kiss, yeah? Ain't nothin' more romantic than the aquatic tongue. It be an easy way to serenade me. I mean, I've serenaded others with it. And cursed 'em out, but that's a different story.
Hmm, well, guess I just gotta keep buggin' people. It's how ya learn about all that's in them waters. Pa and Dad know lots, but I keep teachin' them things, too, like where to find good natural toxins. Pa didn't know about them fresh water urchins. Bringin' him a perfectly preserved gland from one to get some paralytic poisons mightly impressed him. That just added to them warm feelings. Man, I do love my Pa. Anyways, maybe whatever that Fiolx guy was talkin' about is somethin' I just gotta wait to encounter.
Oh, and guess we chasin' the ghost of the Dread Pirate Firebeard. I've heard that name uttered here and there when I've been to Red Hook, but ain't know much else. It promises to be interestin' at least.
P.S. Feelin' bad I didn't mention it earlier, but Pilon met his end, goddess rest his soul. Initially thought Dad said they got rid of him, but realizin' now Dad meant they took care of whoever put a hit on Pilon. Bastards. Pilon was a good one. I'm gonna miss him.
