Island Time

Rum Runner - Session Summaries List

Session 20231117c - 20231117s

• First things first... we need to figure out how we're getting into this cathedral to fulfil the geas. We end up deciding that Jericho is wearing some of MeLange's clothes. Which, I'm sure is fine. Like, I'm sure MeLange is not always dressed like his avatar, in a plain white tank top. Because that seems like it might be pretty conspicuous in a church... but then again, this is a big cathedral in a big city, and as my grandma always used to say, "God doesn't care what you wear."
• The plan is that Team 1 (Roth and Mel) will go in first and create a distraction. Lirt and Vee decide to stay outside unless needed... because they're the smart ones. Following Roth and Mel in are Jericho, Matty, Levi, and Temperance.
• Rothuss attempts some ventriloquism to make it seem like the statue is asking for someone to scratch its nose. But he fails that roll, and it sounds like MeLange is asking instead. While that's going on, Jericho passes the bottle with the stamp in it to Matty, who immediately shoves it into his pants. Rothuss tries the ventriloquism again, on a different statue... and it fails again. Jericho and MeL are both in a slight state of panic. Jericho makes a quick, silent prayer, which fulfills the geas, then totally casually saunters out of the cathedral. Rothuss moves on to the next statue.. and fails yet again. (SMELT THOSE DICE!) Then Rothuss decides to just SCRATCH ALL THE STATUES NOSES. It's PROBABLY frowned upon to like, mess with holy statues or whatever, but he's a loner, Dotty. A rebel. Priests start approaching this weirdo. Then Ratbone screams "RRRRRUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!" and she runs. Levi tries to casually walk out, Temperance runs. Rothuss attempts some tumbling to escape the approaching priests... they almost catch him, but then he falls over and, luckily, manages to roll away on the follow up roll. Finally his dice decided to play nice. Vee and Lirt are casually eating bagels and watching the madness, while Lirt sucks up to Vee a little. Rothuss "runs serpentine" for the door.
• And we all return back to the ship more or less unscathed. We set out for home, and the roll for the encounter is a 20 from Jericho, so NOTHING HAPPENS. No more giant eagles to fight!
• There is some discussion about the return of the stamp, and mostly we decide Vee is going to hang on to it and potentially do some nefarious things before returning it privately. But then, plot twist! Vee just returns it right away to Hilde. Turns out her grandpa made this rum. Then Hilde is all like, "Yeah this is one of the missing stamps. By the dubs, I'm going to have more jobs for you soon."
• The end.
• ... for now.
• We finish the evening with Temperance finalizing some character things, and a little more training decisions from the rest of the group.

Quotes of the Night
Spring (Ratbone Carder): Ratbone is like, I trust the process. I trust the process. wtf is the process here. I trust ...

Shislif (MeLange): competency is overrated

Vee Barlett: Alright crew! Let's sell our goods and head back to sea, yeah?
Matthias Crowtooth: What? How can we set off if we haven't even burned down a section of town?

Jericho: Is that a bottle of rum in your pant leg, or are you just happy to see us?
Matthias Crowtooth: I was happy and had a bottle of rum in my pants, but then you showed up and they both went away

Ratbone Carder: bard mode! damn her and the horse she rode!
Ratbone Carder: bard mode! blue as in covered in woad!
Ratbone Carder: bard mode! damn her and the feelings, the damn mother lode! bard mode!
Ratbone Carder: bard mode! nothing like friendship between frog and toad! bard mode!
Ratbone Carder: walkin alone down abandoned old road. BARD! MODE!
Lemon (Levi Reed): Spring, I'm not sure what the tune is supposed to be for that song, but in my head it's the Trogdor music

Michael (Jericho): I'm going to need to log off shortly. I can tell devices are being shut off
BOB There will be stuff on the site to look at over the weekend Michael
BOB have a great night
TMO (Rothuss Carder): glad we got your geas gone!
Shislif (MeLange): Night Michael!
Carissa (Vee Barlett): night michael
Michael (Jericho): I dont' want to go unless I"m actually booted and leave Carissa to deal with this
MeLange: if you stay now it will be too awkward

Carissa: a wild Ryan has appeared!
Carissa: You leveled I think
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Oh, I think the last time I leveled, I waited a few weeks and it went away. I will be fine

BOB so did you pick a God Wendy?
wyjyoon (Temperance): And yes! I think we went with
wyjyoon (Temperance): Hang on I forgot the name
Carissa: Bran?
wyjyoon (Temperance): Yes bran
Carissa: And Bran lives on, even in this campaign
Lemon: In god form, as it should be

Session 20231110c - 20231110s

• We begin our evening talking about all the things Jericho may or may not have done during his first time drunk. But we are rudely interrupted by a whale. Vee greets it by asking "how's the eating goin?" which is probably why it threatens to kill us if we don't give it some food. She couldn't have greeted it with like, "Hey, how's the water super far away from here?" or something??? But anyway, we dump a crate of dead fish into the sea for it, and Vee tells it there's some tuna behind us, and that seems to be good enough for the whale. For now. It DOES threaten to come back if it doesn't find those tuna.
• The rest of the trip passes uneventfully until we approach the area where the giant eagle killed Nikkolai last time. And, of course, there, in the distance, is another eagle.

  • In preparation for the potential eagle attack, Levi pulls out the crate of salted fish, and turns it sideways on the deck, hoping that if the eagle does attack, it will take the easier bait (the fish) and leave the people alone.
  • Then Levi prepares his shortbow. Levi is ON TOP OF THIS SITUATION. Vee is busy navigating and she can't hide anywhere so Levi goes and stands next to her, ready to protect her. Like a good big brother type should. BUT THEY ARE SUPER NOT RELATATED. As far as we know.
  • The eagle snatches up a miscellaneous crew person. But oh ho, dear reader, no throat displacement this time! Not if we can help it! Jericho casts some fancy water spell and drenches the eagle so it can't fly away.
  • Ratbone clubs it.
  • Jericho blinds it
  • And with a couple additional shots and machete attacks from Levi, it's dead. It does get in a good bite at Levi first though.
  • And turns out the miscellaneous crew person is actually dead. Ish. Jericho saves him.
  • And the villagers rejoice! Or the crew people. Or they SHOULD be, but they don't seem to really appreciate us saving from dangers that they wouldn't be facing had we not requisitioned their ship to go after some old rum and tax fraud.

• We reach the home of Vee's dads, and again, Pilon is out in front, and calls her Violet. But he couldn't have heard the gossip already, could he? No, she's just used this name before.

  • Rocco the stylist is not home. No alias/makeover for Jericho. But Troy is here! But Pilon is like, probably don't wake him. So we all take a bath and get some sleep. Finally.

• OOC, Lemon reminds TMO that he is supposed to divide up that cash money for us. But he still doesn't. We might have to elect a new treasurer. ... ... ... NOT IT.
  • considering that reminder went straight in one ear and out the other, you might be right. ANYWAYS, 1000/2 = 500 to the Party Pack. If I have the PC count correct at 7 (at the time of earning), then 500/9 = 55.55. Call it 55 gold per share, with 5 gold change.
• Rosa Shieldgem emerges from Troy's room, wearing a sheet. Not toga style, like, oopsies, didn't bother getting dressed style. And she has the same last name as Rothuss' lady. INTRIGUE.
• So Vee goes in and tries to talk Troy into making a copy of the stamp or whatever, and he's like, "nOOOOOOope. Too many people know about this. We can't do anything with it." And they start talking about why the church is being so weird and sent them on this quest and Troy is like, "You know, I bet the church thought you could seduce him." WHAT!? But the conclusion of the conversation is still basically "Wtf is going on with this church." And Troy is like, "You KNOW, you could go back and be like "oh no I failed so sad" but then return it secretly to whoever sent you on the quest, and THEN those jerks owe you a favor."
• That's it for IC stuff, but our newest friend rolls some stats so she can work on her character. Then a little conversation about what people are considering training in when we get to that point.
• The end.

Quotes of the Night
Lemon (Levi Reed): Dear god, where is TMO
Lemon (Levi Reed): That's so much numbers and shit
Carissa (Vee Barlett): something something about two days travel I think
BOB Super simple Lemon = 36 miles per day
BOB Under rowing and sails
Lemon (Levi Reed): We're powered by lemons?

Levi Reed: [SKILL] Ranger Tracking [2] [MOD:WIS] (vs. Target 14) [FAILURE by 2] [d20 = 16]
Lemon (Levi Reed): Not sure if my tracking would work in the sky but
Vee Barlett: [SKILL] Ranger Tracking [2] [MOD:WIS] (vs. Target 14) [FAILURE by 6] [d20 = 20]
Vee Barlett: cannot remember where the sky is

Carissa (Vee Barlett): ratbone smash!
Spring (Ratbone Carder): BLUDGEON!!!
Spring (Ratbone Carder): hee hee
wyjyoon (Temperance): Ratbone used bludgeoning, it was very effective

Carissa (Vee Barlett): really hope Vee can sneak in a bath before her "meeting"
BOB The docks are right there wink
Carissa (Vee Barlett): pretty sure those are not up to Rocco's standards
BOB Very true
Carissa (Vee Barlett): but you know Vee probably usually just jumps in the water, lol
Lemon (Levi Reed): They are probably used to her coming home stinky
Carissa (Vee Barlett): and at odd hours
Lemon (Levi Reed): Yeah, it sounds like they keep odd hours, too
JtomTMO (Lirtimya): Vee never comes back at the even hours, everyone knows that

BOB So Lirt and Jericho can reset their spells back to full
BOB and then Lirt can pick what spells she memorizes for the day
JtomTMO (Lirtimya): I'll stick with my combo of all my spells

Vee Barlett: smacks hands on table and stands up
Rothuss Carder: looks up.
Rothuss Carder: Hmmm?
Vee Barlett: Well this is fun and awkward.
Vee Barlett: You all have fun.
MeLange: thanks, you can have the awkward

Michael (Jericho): (Also, at 9, I have to leave. I'm sorry guys :( )
Carissa (Vee Barlett): aww night
Shislif (MeLange): night :)
Michael (Jericho): (no, in twenty minutes :) )
Shislif (MeLange): Ok I take my night back

Session 20231103c - 20231103s

• BOB calls Lemon crazy, and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.
• Rothuss snags a fellow named Senick Honorhorn on the docks to try and offload our silver. Unsure if that's his real name, but if it isn't, he's obviously compensating for his shady dealings by calling himself Honorhorn. Levi tries to haggle and fails. He ends up offering us 1000 gold, and we accept, because that's a lot of money. He says he'll come back at nightfall, and it's like 4am, so we have to kill the whole day. Levi wants to go exploring but it's vetoed, so we just hang out all day.

  • Vee sends Ruffus stuff back to him, SWAK.
  • Jericho gets paranoid and asks if there's a way to check if he's being watched. He fails every roll to try and find out. But he DOES get the information from Vee that her dads could probably help him with an alias or faking his own death or something.
  • We discover new crew! Gideana "can be explained by Mel" whatever that means, and Temperance was recruited to replace some of our lost crew.

• Senick comes back with a chest full of gold. AND it has a false bottom which could come in handy later. OR could be some terrible foreshadowing. Lemon proposes splitting the money in the following way:

  • Half (500 gold) to party pack
  • The other half split evenly amongst all PCs +2, the +2 going to the captain and crew of the ship we... are... borrowing?
  • The actual amount is TMO's job, as he was elected treasurer at the beginning of this adventure.

• And we're off! Carissa says we're rowing through the night, and no one objects, so that's what we do. Or at least, that's what BOB tells me. And it must be true, because Carissa didn't object. But even reading the chat back again today, I missed that part.
• And then we end the evening with a nice conversation about how fun everything was and how we can keep having fun. Yay!

Quotes of the Night
Senick Honorhorn: I can sell those for a good profit, they are at least 100 years old
Senick Honorhorn: Only to a high end bidder of course, so I will need to sit on them for a while
Senick Honorhorn: But they need a good story first
Senick Honorhorn: He fell in love with a mermaid and she stole his heart and his dinner set
Senick Honorhorn: Well maybe that needs work
Matthias Crowtooth: The heart was probably incidental. She was after the dinner set from the beginning.

Session 20231027c - 20231027s

• Yes, BOB, I do know who I am. Thank you.
• We begin the session with Allisa (NOT Alyssa) being like oh heeeey, Ruffus, who's the laaaaady? Then she tells Vee to watch out for STIs and then she makes out with Vee. And propositions her for a threesome. Lemon is very glad she missed this part. But there's some back and forth with Vee and Ruffus and they end up in bed together. Oh, but also, he already knew we were going to search his bags. Their dinner is interrupted by a note from Levi letting her know the bags are trashed, but it doesn't seem to stop the course of the evening. Michael threatens to go all Lorena Bobbitt on his ass. Ruffus also mentions that he's going to let anything "too precious" to interfere with their bargain be put somewhere "convenient." But Lemon is dumb and I'm not sure if that means the rum we're looking for is in another castle, or if the rum we're about to get is the rum we're looking for. Then things get extra gross and Lemon would like to wash her brain please.
• We ask the librarian where we might find Ruffus. She says a bar, so we head out for some bars, totally ignoring Lirt's very good suggestion of checking some inns. Which, to be fair, is probably the most logical choice. Especially knowing Levi told Vee to seduce him. Vee's not the type to just do it right there on a bar table. Probably. Jericho might be. But anyway, so go search all the wrong places, because everyone listened to Levi for some reason. The names of the three bars that Jello the Librarian tips us off to are The Royal Pig, the Gold Palm, and the Loaded Dice. Levi splits everyone into three groups.

  • First up is the Golden Palm (yes, the name did just change) with Lirt and Matty, and the bouncer is like noOOOOOOOpe. And then he's like, plus your guy DeOrange hasn't been here in a couple months. Michael takes umbrage with the way we treat the bouncer. And Lemon just got the joke on that Umbridge lady from Harry Potter.
  • Next is the Royal Pig with Jericho and MeLange. THIS bouncer is busy beating someone ELSE up. This time they try buttering up the bouncer and telling him what a very good super special bouncer man he is. Then they're like, "We're looking for our sister, she's with DeOrange." Bouncer Kyrtaar is like "nope, haven't seen that little rascal in a couple of months."
  • Then Loaded dice where Ailis Redshadow is trying to learn how to count from Naamah Orbarrow. (Baaa-raaaam-ewe.) No dice there (pun intended, for once) but we do learn that the Duke's son, Valengar, is nice to his guards. Not sure why that's important, but having the name is good, probably. Maybe we shouldn't try to bribe the guards, they probably like the guy. Anyway then BOB is like, where you all planning on sleeping tonight? Getting late, losers.

• Meanwhile, after being seduced, Vee slips out of her bondage gear and grabs the bottle of rum that Ruffus left for her (which makes noise when you shake it), and climbs out the window. Levi finds her standing the street naked. And Lirt has the genius idea of heading back to the library rather than inspecting the stolen goods in the street. Why don't we listen to Lirt more often?
• Back at the library, Vee insists we send Ruffus' stuff back to him. With some various rolls, we know with 99% certainty that this IS the bottle we are looking for. And hopefully in the morning, Lirt will cast detect magic and make that a 100%.
• We have some discussion on what to do next, and it sounds like first stop is Osterhold with Vee's dads, and then most likely the cathedral to remove the geas, but Vee is fine with Jericho dying so uh... he might have to do some convincing.
• The end.

Quotes of the Night
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I have detect noise. Can I use it as a Detect Scent instead? Pretty sure Vee isn't particular about bathing
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Also, why didn't you have Matty do the seducing? I have a 15 in tumbling

Jericho: Hey We sincerely apologize for bothering you, and we certainly don't want to end up like that, so would you mind if we looked for our sister? She was last seen with a Rufus De'Orange? We just want to make sure she's okay. We don't want to cause you any trouble
Kyrtaar Calauth: That is easy
Jericho: Perks up
Jericho: Is she okay?
Kyrtaar Calauth: I have not seen Deorange in a couple of months
Kyrtaar Calauth: hard to miss him
Jericho: Deflates a bit
MeLange: oh that's a long time
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): keep it in the pants, Jericho
MeLange: sorry my friend here used to be a balloon

Session 20231020c - 20231020s

• More distracting singing is happening. Gonna be honest, I tuned it out. I'm sure it was great.
• Vee and Ruffus apparently leave the room, but I would just like to point out that IT NEVER SAYS THIS ANYWHERE. Except for one little "Vee and Ruffus out of sight out of mind" comment which tbh, could mean anything. Like, Lemon's brain does not work well enough to understand that this means they have actually physically left the room and are in a different room. They (Vee and Ruffus still) are flirting and Sharif asks if we are supposed to sneak or wait. Levi rolls some sneaky rolls to check bags. Rothuss is waiting to see if his tumbling rolls paid off in order to try and grab the bag without being seen. I point this all out because some EXTREME OOC CONFUSION happens next. BOB is telling us all we won't know if anything worked until we DO something, and we all thought we DID something. But apparently just rolling isn't enough, we have to actually say specifically what we're trying to do. So... now I know that. So finally we figure this out, and MeLange picks up the bags and tries to sneak out with them. Because some of us were still under the impression that everyone was in the same room, and didn't realize Vee and Ruffus had left. The two people who understand what is going on are, understandably, all like "DO SOMETHINGGGGGGGGG." But the rest of us are still in the ???? stage.
• So finally we kind of figure out wtf is going on and MeLange opens a bag and gets stabbed. He says, "Hopefully no poison." Jericho notices that there is no obvious infection, but it is something "from a mullusk perhaps". And then more confusion happens. Because we're like, ok, let's open the bags and dump the stuff out. And BOB keeps being like "but how?" And obviously most of our brains are in the "off" mode because we don't understand this. Rothuss tries to look inside and/or cuts the bag open. Honestly, reading this back, I'm still confused, but we end up deciding it's slashed so, I guess that one. MeLange uses and axe to cut open the second bag. Jericho lays out a really detailed plan to dissect the bag and try to find the trap, but apparently it doesn't count unless you can roll for detecting traps. So now I'm confused on when you have to roll or when you have to DO SOMETHINGGGGGG but I guess that's just part of the game.
• So then it's time to make our great escape. For a second, there is consideration of like, checking the two bottles of rum we found before running off with the stolen goods, but everything's already trashed, so he's already going to know we searched his stuff, so what's the point in taking time to inspect the rum. Time in which we could be caught red-handed. So Levi convinces everyone to grab the stuff and gooooooo. A guard (Adiro) catches us, but Rothuss convinces him that it's Ratbone's stuff that she forgot to take with her or something. Rothuss distracts guard with the story while the rest of us take the stash and run to the church to pray or something. I'm sure it's a really good story, but again, tuned it out. Which apparently I even stated in the chat that evening. Honestly, this was a really frustrating session for me, and now I know why I didn't write this summary last week. Re-reading it is stressing me out all over again.
• Anyway, Rothuss and Adiro are out having a drink while the others go to the temple. Church. Whatever.
• At the temple/church/whatever Levi gets approached by a nice lady named Jello (Jalini) asking if he wants his fortune told. Of course he does! Why not! Nothing else has made sense tonight, why not throw in a mysterious fortune as well. Levi asks if he will find what he seeks today. (The stamp thing they're looking for, but he doesn't just blurt it out.) Jello is like "nope... here's half your money back." Levi is like, "Nah, keep it. Oh, and can you check out this mollusk sting?" Jello is like "oh this is terrible... your hands are probably about to fall off. Hahaha, jk, it's just a stab with a sharp thing with some ink in it. Like a pen. No biggity. But I'm not fixing it for you because it's instant karma for being a thief." Lirt also requests a fortune on her future journeys and gets told "You will see your home again soon if you can avoid being washed overboard." Not ominous at all. Then Jello says "We have all survived our worst days so far" which I legit need to remember for my own personal use in RL on those really bad days. Then, at a loss for what to do next, Levi asks Lirt what she wants to do most in the world right at that moment. And she picks the best of all possible choices.
• LIBRARY! We find some random private library and just knock on the door like it's no big deal. Viviana Larmagnory opens the door and shuts it in our faces. Levi offers to give the nice lady some money. She tells him "we do not have picture books here" which, fair. Viv says she's only letting three people in, which is probably fine, because Adiro wants to go get wasted and start some fights.
• Bob casually mentions that Lirt never paid for her fortune. So maybe the church will be after her next. Or maybe her fortune was so much garbage that Jello decided not to charge for it.
• Inside the library there is a sleeping gorilla named Oleb. Also 20 volumes of writing and 200 paintings. Sounds more like a museum than a library to me, but what do I know. MeLange discovers an "underwater river" on a chart. It's a current. But our brains are working on like 10% capacity, so Levi at least does not understand this, and thinks there's an actual river. Like maybe an underground river that leads to secret underground caves or something. Fun fact: this was all Lemon being dumb, not Levi. Although it works for both. Like, I couldn't let it go, and I was determined for us to come back and copy down this chart so we could go find the underwater river that might lead to super cool caves. It's a current, guys. It's just a current.
• The end. I guess.

Quotes of the Night
Shislif (MeLange): lemme know ifyou see any animals :)
Lemon (Levi Reed): You could try using that on Ruffus, he seems like an animal
Carissa (Vee Barlett): lol
Shislif (MeLange): burnnn

Jalini Marblemaw: Greetings travelers
MeLange: Oh hello there
Jalini Marblemaw: Fortune telling for you today?
Levi Reed: Hello, what's your name?
Levi Reed: Oooh, yes, I could go for a fortune telling
MeLange: fortune teller? how much?
Levi Reed: Lirt, Mel?
Jalini Marblemaw: I am Jalini Marblemaw, I have the cleanest soul on the island
MeLange: it shows
Lemon (Levi Reed): lol, Mel flirting with a preist

Session 20231013c - 20231013s

• Friday the 13th! I have decided that this is the day that the curse has ended.
• We are heading towards the bard college, and Levi tells everyone about the geas. Jericho is apparently busy having the nervous holy shits after spending time in the chill church of Mizzen. Beth tells us that you have to pay to get in, and also that she doesn't want to be caught in town. But the college is apparently a safe zone, so she talks the ticket-sellers into letting us all in at half price, and Vee pays. Thanks Vee! Once inside, Beth immediately disappears.
• Vee walks up to a docent and asks if they have seen a man with a peg leg. They have, but it's kind of a long and windy conversation but she tells us he's in the Cohn Theater, and that he had a girl on his arm when he went in. And then she keeps talking, for some reason, so Vee is like, "Oh, Rothuss here is interested in joining" and that gets her off our back, and instead gets Ai to demand that Rothuss tell him a joke, as a way of seeing if he's worthy of admission. And we all know that the easiest time to tell a joke is when you're put on the spot to tell a joke. He does, and Ai steals him while the rest of us head into the theater.
• Ashling Ambrose and Jeanne Massouchanteau are performing and critiquing, and also asking others to join in the critiques. There's a lot of back and forth, everyone contributes something, even... dum da da dUuuuUUuuUUm... RUFFUS! When he shares his stuff, he is CLEARLY hitting on Vee, which is hilarious to Levi.
• When the concert is over, they head to an antechamber for... more bard college stuff. Vee assigns Lirt to be Levi's babysitter. Neha Elfbreath brings refreshments. Kala Ocean starts the workshop, but Ruffus says she doesn't even work there? Ashling comes in and is all "wtf Ocean, go sit down. Let's talk about listening."
• After the listening talk, we hear Ruffus say he's going to leave his bags at the college. Elfbreath says she'll hold them for him. Levi tries to distract Elfbreath, Vee is trying to distract Ruffus, and the rest are hopefully trying to get the bags.
• What did we find? We'll find out next week! Stay tuned!

Quotes of the Night
Levi Reed: Hey, you guys, turns out the church put a death sentence on Jericho
Levi Reed: Or a geas, whatever the holy folks call their death sentences
Levi Reed: If he doesn't bring the stamp back to the cathedral in a month, he drops dead
Vee Barlett: I keep tellin' them their church ain't innocent. But a death sentence?
Vee Barlett: That's puttin' a lot of responsibility for a low circle.
MeLange: talk about late fees

Ashling Ambrose: So what do you tell people about listening young man?
Ashling Ambrose: Lookign at Levi
MeLange: Yea tell her Levi
Levi Reed: I mostly tell them that they can't listen if they're still talking
Ashling Ambrose: If you are singing you still need to listen
Rothuss Carder: You gotta read the audience, man.
Levi Reed: Sure but you have to listen selectively
Levi Reed: If you're listening to everything, you're going to mess up
Ashling Ambrose: Selective listening
MeLange: to the sound... of silence
Levi Reed: Get distracted
MeLange: squirrel?
Levi Reed: Like if you're next to someone who won't shut up
Levi Reed: You have to learn to tune them out
MeLange: what was that Levi?

MeLange: Stands with his back towards the baggage hoping to block the view of outsiders
MeLange: in a superman pose
JtomTMO (Lirtimya): Not conspicuous at all
Shislif (MeLange): lol dang right
Shislif (MeLange): He always stands that way :)
JtomTMO (Lirtimya): Instead of ever moving his legs to walk he just waddles around always in that pose

Session 20231006c - 20231006s

• Alyssa is back! Yay! Playing Adiro Barone this time around.
• We start the session with Vee giving Rothuss a hard time about his ventriloquism act last week. Which means she's a witch. I don't know how she would know otherwise. And since I already know Carissa is a witch, this tracks, and is now cannon.
• Then Vee asks if anyone has seen any dolphins. As she asks this question, a dolphin jumps over the ship and slaps her in the side of the head. She misses it somehow, but Jericho is quick to point it out, so she starts talking to it like nothing happened. But we all know what we saw. The dolphins tell her that the boat is asleep on the sand, but she misunderstands as the people FROM the boat are asleep on the sand. (At least, that's my interpretation of the weird dolphin conversation.) So she asks who wants to go sneak up on them in their sleep. Vee, MeLange, and Rothuss go with the Dolphin Attack Force, but wait! There are tuna to be found! Despite a long discussion/argument about the size of tuna, whether tuna would be located this close to shore, whether dolphins would chase tuna, etc - it turns out that science has no place in this world, as per usual, and the dolphins go after the tuna. Vee tries to lie to them and tell them there's better fish that JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE RIGHT EXACTLY WHERE WE WANT TO GO, but the dolphins aren't buying it. And then she's like, "Ok but also we will help you." and they're like "ok, fiiiine, let's round up the tuna and chase them to the shore." Dolphin Attack Force arrives at approximately the exact same time as the boat.
• Up on the sand we discover the Flying Fish is basically a ship wreck at this point. While everyone is trying to figure out what happened, and whether or not there's anything worth anything left in the near-wreckage, Levi finds two sets of tracks heading up into the treeline, one of them seems to have been dripping blood. So they start to loot the ship WHEN

  • Friedrich Lutgen shows up and starts yelling and throwing bottles at us. Jericho offers to heal him if he needs it (as Jericho does) but Fried is EXTREMELY OFFENDED by this offer.
  • Vee is like "He's probs a hobo, leave him alone." Fried is also extremely offended by this suggestion.
  • Fried also claims it's his ship. Unsure whether that's accurate or not. Like why is he just hanging around the ruins swearing at everyone?
  • Levi offers to take the empty bottles he's throwing at them and refill them with rum for him. Fried is very offended at this suggestion as well, but lets Levi go get the refills for him anyway.
  • Finally we get SOME information out of him. He says the captain ran off with the passenger. Sounds like a jerk captain, so Levi offers to let him join their crew. Fried is extremely offended by this offer.
  • A little more information trickles out. The noble passenger had a bag with him. Jericho makes an herbal mixture to help Fried out. Fried is extremely offended by this.
  • Vee asks Ludwig to guard the ship while we follow the tracks. Fried is extremely offended by this.

• We finally get going and find a little shack almost immediately. We just go ahead and knock on the door, no biggity. We hear a crossbow click and Herwarth Buback answers the door. Levi tries Jericho's tactic and is like, "oh hey man, we saw this shipwreck, thought we'd offer to help." Herry is like, "go away." But he accidentally lets slip that he "doesn't know anything about the guy limping towards town." Then Vee works some pirate mafia magic and gets him talking a little more. Nothing especially useful, so we ease on down the road and find some more tracks. The set of two we're looking for, but then three more that seem to be stalking the first two. During this walk, we hear someone whistling. It's the classic weirdo rando that BOB likes to throw at us. There's some whistling back and forth, but eventually it stops, and nothing comes of it. Not going to lie, those encounters frustrate the heck out of me. Feels like an unsolved puzzle in my brain. It's like Hycis and that fucking ghost from the last era.
• We finally make it to town, and we are told we have three locations we want to check out. The shrine, the jail, and the merchant house.

  • First up, MeLange and Rothuss at the jail. They just knock on the door, nbd, and Tanaka inside is like, "Who are you bailing out?" MeLange just spills that we're looking for someone with a pegleg, and Rothuss just spills that he's a "gent" who "scammed our client." And Tanaka is like, "I only have a lady in jail right now and she's super duper annoying. You want to take her?" They do, for some reason. Beth the Pickpocket takes an instant liking to MeLange. An instant, very VERY intense liking. And she's a pretty GOOD pickpocket, so Carissa wants us to hire her.
  • Next we move on to Jericho, Ava, and Levi at the church. Shrine. Temple. Whatever. It's an open air place, way better than the stuffy temple back home. We're immediately greeted by Vesta who's like, "Come on in and chill with us!" She also offers Ava a new title. For some reason. And then she's like, "Y'all been to the bard college?" and we're like, "The wha?" And then Levi is like, "You guys just sit around an pray all day or what?" Because Levi is a super respectful guy like that. But Vesta takes it all in stride and is like, "nah, we also heal and chill and drink." Then, just when Levi is starting to enjoy himself, Jericho drops the bomb that he's got a geas on him. And then Vesta is like, "Wait, what are you doing here?" and Ava just TELLS HER EVERYTHING. And Vesta is like "yeaaaah, your church is pretty set in it's old and trap-like ways. Power corrupts, etc." Levi likes this take on the church and gives the lady some money.
  • And now on to the marketplace. Vee immediately finds some likeminded weirdo named Folduin and they chat about like, sales and goods and pirate mafia stuff. And then she's like, "I'm looking for super overpriced rum." and Fold is like, "Try Plithoth." Which is honestly way too many consonants and not enough vowels, but whatever.

• Then we all gather back together to share what meager info we all have. More options for places to check out. Or are they the same place? This is turning into the most annoying Choose Your Own Adventure book I've ever read. Beth indicates she is not interested in joining us on a ship. But she is still VERY interested in MeLange. And then we ask her to help lead us around the island, and Jericho just spills the whole goose on what we're looking for. The church is going to be so mad when we get back and tell them everyone in the whole island nation knows everything. Also, I'm not sure if "spills the whole goose" is even a phrase, but it sounded right. It's past my bedtime.
• We decide to end there for the night, but not before Levi officially declares that he hates monkeys.

Quotes of the Night
Carissa (Vee Barlett): Tuna are HUGE. What kind of tuna are we chasing?!
BOB Tuna are not born huge, the young, weak, old are good prey
Lemon (Levi Reed): But wouldn't they be in a school? With some bigger ones? Maybe not, I guess fish don't necessarily hang out with the babies after they're born
Shislif (MeLange): yea tuna babies are super annoying

MeLange: I can check out the jail, I don't have any warrants or anything I don't think
MeLange: if someone wants to come with me mayhaps?
Jericho: I can check out the Jail
MeLange: ugh really?
Jericho: See if anyone wants a checkup
Vee Barlett: Nah, priest should check the shrine?
Jericho: Okay, I'll go check the Shrine
MeLange: that makes sense, stop trying to block my saves Jericho sheesh
Lirtimya: That makes the most sense
MeLange: stay in your lane father

Levi Reed: So what exactly do you all do here?
Levi Reed: Do you just like, pray all day?
Vesta Ronchessac: Smiles at Levi, we do much more than just pray
Carissa (Vee Barlett): "we also give thoughts"

Session 20230929c - 20230929s

• For some reason, we start with Vee giving Matty back his dagger. Like she said some reasons and stuff, but nothing about it makes sense. Especially since the first thing he did was start taunting the albatross.
• The winds die down and everyone begins rowing as Ratbone sings a lovely song.
• At some point we come to the realization that the stupid little boat we're chasing probably did worse than we did in the storm. Ava locates a dolphin for Vee to talk to and maybe get some intel. Matty says that he has eaten dolphins, and everyone is horrified. Like really dude? First you're poking the albatross now you're eating dolphins? The dolphins surface near the boat and Vee jumps in to go swimming with them. And I guess also look for the boat we're chasing. They don't find it. Vee figures it's probably faster than our ship, so even if it wrecked, it's probably still ahead of us.
• Night approaches. We set shifts, because Vee won't let anyone sleep. She's a cruel taskmaster who keeps everyone rowing for days on end.

  • I'll be honest here, I don't know how anyone figured out who's on what shift. Usually the things that don't make sense to me at the time become clearer later in the chat. Not so with this! I THINK the first watch is Lirt, Jericho, Ava, and... MeLange? On first ship, something bumps into the left/port side of the boat. It's a barrel! Probably a rum barrel! A ship must have crashed somewhere nearby!
  • Time for the second watch! It's Levi and Rothuss, but since they suck at boat stuff, Lirt gets stuck with pulling a double shift. They discover a second barrel and also a crate. Maybe they're about to do some really classy redecorating on board. And then just like that, it's time for
  • Third shift! Rothuss decides to do a double so someone is there to keep Vee out of trouble company. Nothing happens on third watch.

• Wakeup time! Rothuss does some creepy ventriloquism in Ava's voice that makes us think something suspicious might be in the barrels. There's a little bit of banter on what to do about it, but in the end, Jericho casts Protection from Evil on Levi, and Levi pries everything open with a crowbar. The barrels are just rum, as suspected. The crate is full of fancy table silverware. Real silver, not like the garbage we use in the real world today. We ARE still concerned about the weird voices that we don't know was Rothuss, so we quiz Ava to make sure she isn't possessed or something. She passes. Everything is fine and we're still a few hours from shore, but with a bonus of rum and silver.
• There is no cliffhanger ending, which is extremely disappointing to Lemon.

Quotes of the Night
Jericho: It still wouldn't work Vee
Jericho: I'm sorry
Jericho: The barrels are solid wood
Jericho: The magix woudn't penetrate
Vee Barlett: Magic don't penetrate? Sounds like something a chaste priest would say.

Session 20230922c - 20230922s

• Carissa logs in before Lemon, because Lemon has a job. Lemon tries to curse Carissa. But it's impossible. Carissa is immune to stupid imaginary curses! (I hope. We've had enough real life curses, we don't need any more.)
• So anyway, we go talk to Captain Flame and we're like, "So we're going to Siren's Call." and she's like, "Heck no, we're not. I can take you as far as Mizzen." Vee is like, "Yeah, ok." But let's be real... if we got to Mizzen and had to continue to Siren's Call, we all know that Vee would somehow get the captain to agree. Or she'd kick her off the ship and take over or something. But FORESHADOWING, the captain tells us the church of Mizzen is "a bit quirky." And that part is a real quote, not a quote that I made up like all of the other quotes.
• Then it's time to shop for supplies. But we can't really think of anything, so we just get rope and wax, mostly. There should be shops on Mizzen so we just need enough to get through the short day and a half journey. But then Levi finds a "breathing tube" that allows for scuba diving, and he buys one for MeLange. Not sure why, but he does. It just seems like the kind of thing MeLange would appreciate. And Ava gets some armor. Levi buys some rope that he says he's going to give to MeLange, but I don't think he ever does. What a jerk.
• We're off! Everyone is chatting about the pink forecastle and gossiping about Jericho when a wild MeLange appears! Levi gives him the breathing tube. But then a storm comes up. We seem to be heading a bit more north-y than we would like. And then, in an echo of our previous journey, a large bird starts circling overhead. Someone named Ault shoots it down. So we should be fine, right? Nope, trick question. The bird is an albatross, and apparently super bad luck to kill. MeLange jumps in after it to see if it's dead, but, I mean, a bird fell out of the sky. It's probably dead. And the captain is like, "Ault, YOU FOOL! Go help them or I'll toss you overboard!" And then Ava does some taxymancy magic and just brings the bird back to life, so now we've got a pet Zombie Albatross on board.
• We decide to take watches so someone can finally get some dang sleep. Ava casts an orison to fix the forecastle.
• OOC there is mention of doing a roll for HP? I don't know what this is about. Did I do it?

Quotes of the Night
Carissa (Vee Barlett): I was hoping both priests would be out so we could claim they both had the "holy shits"
Lycanangel (Ava Bosley): XD
Lycanangel (Ava Bosley): for us priests, every shit is a holy shit

BOB and more importantly the church will pay for training for those who are faithful and obedient
BOB notes for Jericho
Lemon (Levi Reed): That would be extremely useful if Michael read the chat

Ludwig Bethmann: So what are you folks goign to do this trip?
Lycanangel (Ava Bosley): We are on a sacred mission from the church
Vee Barlett: Dirty work for the church.

Session: 20230916c - 20230916s

• Carissa logs in before Lemon, because Lemon was talking about jewelry making with BOB's wife. It was an extremely important conversation.
• We begin the session being boarded by Adelaide Shenanigans... sorry, Shieldgem, but let's be real, Shenanigans is a better last name. But anyway, she comes aboard and is like, "wtf you guys let the boat I was chasing get away!" And we were like, "We did no such thing!" and Rothuss is all like, "I'm going to flirt with you now." But like MAJOR flirting. Like offers to give her an "eventful night" and his son is RIGHT THERE READING IT. Awwwwkwaaaaard. But Miss Shenanigans is like, "sounds good, hmu later." So then the captain takes over the questioning because Shenanigans was obviously failing at her job. The captain goes below deck to "look at the paperwork" with our captain, and then it's Miss Shenanigans all up in our business again, threatening to take away our navigator. Lady, if you can catch his ghost, you're welcome to him. She's the first truly annoying NPC of this arc. Anyway, the captain finishes up and is like, "You done here Shenanigans?" and she's like, "I have a date with Rothuss at 8 in the frickin morning but otherwise yeah, I'm good." And they leave.
• Then there is a heated debate about when people can sleep in this game. I'm not even sure what the results are, but I remember Michael and I getting VERY worked up about it in person. Maybe more me. Everyone else quickly tires of the argument, but ngl, I'm STILL kind of fired up about it. It doesn't make sense that we can't just sleep whenever we're in a safe place to do so!
• But anyway, we all manage to not get arrested, and we head off the ship to try and find the bar that Ruffus and/or Hugo are expected to be at. There is some discussion about whether we should split up, who to talk to in order to figure out what bar to go to, etc, but first...
• BREAKFAST! Warm honey rolls at a bakery on the docks. And we're asking the baker about fancy pants people with peg legs, and bar locations, and the dude is like, idk try the brothel. But then we have the realization that VEE'S DADS LIVE IN THIS CITY, WHAT ARE WE HANGING OUT IN THE STREETS FOR. So we head towards Vee's childhood home. Probably? I'm not sure if it's the same house she grew up in, but that sounded nice, so I went with it. But we bump into an old mob friend of Vee's (yes, at some point we realize that Vee's dads are basically the mob) and he tells us to start with the Pearl, which is one of the taverns. Now, in retrospect, that "start with" was probably important. But, spoiler alert, we only party it up at the one bar.
• We arrive at Vee's house. It's a fancy THREE STORIES so guess her family is rich? First mob clue. And some rando named Pilon is hanging out on the steps. He's apparently a ruffian who may or may not be a blood relative of Vee. So we're all waiting around for Vee to go find one of her dads when...
• Dun dun DUNNNNNNNNN... Troy Barlett walks in and he is INVISIBLE ZORA POLASIS' DAD TOO!

And I am pausing here for the night because it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow.

And now I am unpausing, a week later, because my brain needs a break from making jewelry.

• Matthias is SUPER WORRIED that he might be related to someone. So worried that it's offensive, honestly.
• So we explain why we're there, and Troy is all like, oh, you need an invitation to the Pearl. Got it. And he calls down the Tim Gunn of this arc, Rocco. Rocco immediately starts criticizing our hygiene and fashion choices. Hey man, we left on a boat in the middle of the night after skipping two encounters, we didn't have time to freshen up. After figuring out what our disguises will be, Rocco takes off, leaving the group alone, finally.
• Vee starts telling Invisible Zora about some other siblings. Then Zora starts telling Vee about some other siblings. There are A LOT.
• Then we get cleaned up while we wait for Rocco to return. AND THEN...

• IT'S THE MAIN EVENT OF THE SEASON! QUEER EYE FOR THE MEDIEVAL GUY! (And gal, and nb.) (Credit to Spring for the name.) Rocco looks over all our outfits and gives everyone a very sneaky, very hidden type of weaponry to take with them to the Pearl. Vee gets a hankie that has some kind of poison or something on one corner. Invisible Zora Polasis gets a garrote which she wears in a collar around her neck. Oh, the irony. (Or whatever the appropriate word is here. Thanks Alanis Morisette, now I never know.) Ratbone gets a fancy pipe harness that can also be used to grapple someone, whatever that means. Levi gets a blue codpiece. The weapon? It's covered in glitter. Levi hits on Vee's dad. Vee threatens Levi. Levi tries to get Rocco to take off Jericho's pants, which I legitimately do not remember saying, but there it is. But instead, Jericho gets his "vestments slashed" and a new fancy holy symbol, which sounds like the D&D priest version of fuzzy dice on the rearview mirror. Matty gets a haircut and a fake scar on his head. And a black eye, courtesy of Vee. No makeup here, it's the real deal.

  • Then Rocco loads us all up with 25 gold each, and asks for a return of at least 200 of it. And finally it is into the hired carriages and off to the party! I mean the Pearl. But it ends up feeling like a really weird party. I mean, no shaming or anything, it's fine if this is BOB's thing.

• At first the lady at the door is all, "Why should I let you losers in?" and we're like, "Because we wanna" and she's like, "ok, that checks out, have fun."

  • The first thing that happens... literally the first thing, is that someone named Sakgu grabs Levi's junk and rubs glitter all over his (Sakgu's) face. Sakgu is all like "Now I can show everyone I was first" whatever that means.
  • Some Hoyt Peltier person says to Jericho, "Oh, I used to be a priest and now I'm not, how's it feel to know that's going to happen to you?" Jericho's like, what now? And Hoyt just walks away. Like, ruuuuuude.
  • Zreestrarm Trinketmake winks at MeLange. Then later she waves at him from across the room. He makes the mistake of waving back. Later she blows ANOTHER kiss to him. He makes the mistake of smiling at her.
  • Gaerradh Berilian is like "yo Vee, your dad's finally let you come home? You gave them back the vase?" and she's like, "I did SOMETHING with the vase" and he's like, "I would have paid you more." She's like, "You wanna buy something now?" And he's like, "No, but if I get a good lead, I might hire you to go fetch it." Turns out he's the barkeep.
  • Samara Bliznyuk bumps into Invisible Zora Polasis who tries to pickpocket him and fails miserably. She tries to cover it up as like "hahahaha, I was just trying to grope you." Then he's like, "Who are you trying to fleece tonight?" and she's like, "No one, I just had my heart broken, just trying to get a rebound." And he's like something something guards, and she's like, I don't like guards, and then she realizes WHOOOOOPS, he's the head of the Baron's city guards. They keep flirting and end up in a private room. Vee lets them go.
  • Hycis Ilnatar just starts asking random questions, seemingly to no one. At one point she says something and Vee is like, "you a poet?" and Hycis screams "YOU CAN HEAR ME???" And despite all attempts later to figure out wtf that was, she does not talk to the rest of us anymore.
  • Willis Magnuson sees Jericho checking out the room and is like, "You trying to steal stuff?" And he's like, "Nah, I heard there might be some people who needed healing." Because that's literally all Jericho can ever talk about. Dude is like, "That's dumb, but I can help you get in for some gambling if you want."
  • Tristana Cragore asks Ratbone if she's here to entertain her.
  • Levi buys a bottle of wine from the barkeep and pays him a 50% tip to get the information that's basically, "Watch out for Samara." Not really a whole gold's worth of information, man. But Levi tries to warn Vee that Invisible Zora Polasis might be in trouble... you know, because it might be weird if a prostitute goes to interrupt her, but probably her sister, who is part of the pirate mafia, could get away with it. But Vee is like, "Good, let's see if she's a wimp or not."
  • Rathal Gourael approaches Matty and is like, "What's up with the eye and the scar and stuff?" Matty is like, "Got roughed up on a church mission" And Rathal is like, "lolz, you must have done real bad or they would have healed you hahahahahaha, sucker." And he's like, "naaaah, I didn't go back yet."
  • Lirtimya joins the party and instantly gets glitter wiped all over her face.
  • At this point, Zreestrarm starts chatting with MeLange. "Ohhh, everything is so fun, I'm so glad my master usually keeps me locked in a cage but I'm out tonight." MeLange is like, "locked up seems bad" and she's like, "no, I like it. What are you doing here tonight?" MeLange says, "Looking for investors. For out on the sea kind of stuff." and she's like, "ohhhh, that's so dangerous" and he's like, "Oh yeah, it's much safer here. but there's a lot of money in danger." and she's like, "you seem pretty strong" and he's like, "yep" and then she STRANGLES HIM. TO THE POINT OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS. Jericho knocks her off the unconscious body and she starts to flirt with Jericho. He tells her to get lost. She later attempts Levi, but it's too close to closing time and her master shows up to collect her.
  • Jericho casts "thought capture" and someone is thinking "I gotta find Ruffus, he should have been here tonight." He tells Vee.
  • Invisible Zora Polasis makes it up to a private room with Samara and he's like "why are you following me and blackmailing me and will you be a double agent for me and the church?" She caves and tells him some of the truth. Looking for a guy who stole something from the church. Finally she says who we're looking for, and Samara is like, "he's not a difficult guy to find." I'M SORRY, YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED US. We've been chasing the idiot all over the dang place. But then he tells her he'll send for Ruffus to come visit him, and he'll send a carriage for Zora. Easy peasy. And then he'll seduce her. She's like, that sounds like a great plan, thanks.
  • Noogugh falls and hits his head on a chair. Bleeds. Matty picks his pockets and Jericho heals him.
  • Vee is like, this party sucks, we should have gone to the Pelican. And good ol Willis Magnuson is like, "nah, that place is closed. Ruffus trashed the place and they're still cleaning up."
  • Halima Macherac is approached by Levi, who is desperately trying to get any kind of useful information. She seems distracted.
  • Kurn Warbreaker takes a break from gambling to request a goat and some pudding. Levi goes up to him and is like "how's it going?" and he's like, "I'm not interested, go be a hooker somewhere else." Levi is like, "Yeah, that's cool, but also I know this guy Jericho, who is an absolute rube, and I can help you take all his money if you want." Jericho joins the dice game.
  • Belle Dustseeker calls out last call. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

• Party is over, we all head back to Vee's dads' place. Jericho won 68 gold, and the pickpocketed purse had six rings, each worth 110 gold. Weird thing to be carrying around, but what do I know about rich people. Pilon the ruffian is hanging out on the stoop waxing poetic about Beth the florist who is out of prison now.
• We recount our adventures to Rocco. Vee gives him ALL SIX RINGS. She's such a suckup.
• The carriage arrives! With a note that's like, "haha, your princess is in another castle." Ruffus left on a ship called the Flying Fish, headed to Siren Call. Which is a very dangerous place. But something about the timing of when Ruffus reportedly left doesn't line up with what we expect. It's math stuff, so I have no idea what exactly is going on, but probably someone lied to us or something. The group splits up to try and do a little investigating before heading to the most dangerous island in the area.
• Jericho and Invisible Zora Polasis head to the church to ask for a divination. They just TOTALLY FESS UP to some rando priest about what we're chasing, and the guy is like, "wtf that's crazy. Lemme go get someone for you." So a bigwig comes in and is like, "Ok, this whole thing is a big deal. What do you want to ask?"
• Cut to the docks! Rothuss' new fling Adelaide Shenanigans tells us that the Flying Fish is a known smuggling ship. She also foreshadows that it's a small ship that can't really do great in deep water.

  • I don't remember who Thorndike is, but Vee asks him for info about any peg legs or any fancy rum floating around on the docks. An entire gold spent on absolute garbage information. This seems to be our theme. Forget "Rum Runners" this story arc should be called "Failed Bribery"

• Cut to the wrecked bar! Levi and MeLange see a street sweeper and try to slyly get some information. By bribing him with money for honey buns. Levi fails, and MeLange steps up and asks the right questions. But Ruffus has apparently not been around for about a week. Which doesn't match up with the other story we heard.
• Cut back to the Cathedral! They ask the priest guy if they would be able to find the tax stamp in the city today. The dude says no. But also, oh, super sneaky, the priest put a geas on Jericho. If he doesn't bring the stamp back to the Cathedral (not the Temple, who hired us in the first place) within a month, he dies. Classic cliffhanger ending!

Quotes of the Night
Michael (Jericho): Be sure to ask everyone in the Ilsand kingdoms if you are related before a date night
Carissa (Vee Barlett): it's like Iceland!
Matthias Crowtooth: I thought that inbreeding was more of a problem to the south, in places like Flo Reeta.

Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I believe I can summarize. Vee is a princess of some sort, her dad is the Genghis Khan of the island, and Matthias is the only one that is not a member of this inbred circle

Vee Barlett: Well I already think of you like a dumb little brother, Matty, so maybe!
Matthias Crowtooth: Little? You are like, 3 feet tall
Vee Barlett: And your neck is like 6 feet long!

Session: 20230915c Carissa fix this link please! - 20230915s

• Lemon logs in before Carissa even though they're AT BOB'S HOUSE and she knew exactly when Lemon was about to log in. Just saying.
• Mario will be playing Lieutenant Zachary Bonnet and Lisa joins us as Invisible Zora Plasis. I mean, technically the "Inv" is supposed to be short for "Investigator" but I can't not read it as "invisible." Lisa offers to put the full word back there to help my brain, but I insist that it is unnecessary. I am wrong. Also, in retrospect, I deeply regret not realizing we could have shortened it to "Gator Zora Polasis" which would have been way more hilarious AND way more appropriate, given the setting of BOB's house and everything.
• BOB tries to get the show on the road, but we all have (what I refer to at school as) a bad case of the sillies.
• Finally we start to try filling Lisa in on what we've done so far. Spoiler alert, she already read the chat and has a way better idea of wtf is going on than any of the rest of us do, despite the fact that the rest of us WERE THERE.
• Finally FINALLY we get into character, and Jericho just oops spills the beans that we're looking for a tax stamp inside a 50-year-old bottle of rum. (Which, OOC, STILL DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME. I know that's part of the puzzle or whatever, but I can't wait to figure out what the story is with this thing. THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS. Why was the stamp in the bottle? Has it been sealed in for 50 years? Who put it there? Who knew it was there? Was it missing all this time? How do the current people know it was in there? Why did they LEAVE it in there? WHAT. IS. HAPPENING.)

  • We head inside to investigate the crime scene, since we didn't get to it last session. And Michael says what is my new favorite line to use in real life, "My apologies, I seem to have had a moment of brain issues."

    • I forgot how to do a sub sub bullet point, so just putting this like this until Carissa fixes it. (Nope, leaving it - Carissa)
    • We discover that the doors to the room have been open all day, but the cabinet containing the rum has been locked all day, and Jericho's mentor Michele has the key. Levi brazenly suggests it's an inside job, and Jericho wants to murder him. Upon closer inspection, we can see that the lock is all scratched up. Someone done broke in!
    • Also Michel tells us the culprit has a very fancy peg leg. Ivory, inlaid with pearl.

• We head back to the tavern we all hang out at, and BOB is like, "you guys should talk about how to get to Osterhold as quick as possible." We had considered asking Levi's family, but they're farther away in Lemonshire (pronounced Lemonshuuuuuur), so we convince Matthias (affectionately known as "Matty") to talk to his boss. Later we will find out that this decision somehow skips an encounter. Two, actually.

  • Matty promises to give his reward to the captain and crew. Let's all please make sure we remember this when the time comes, because I have a feeling Ryan will NOT. Captain also sends a note off to Olemeter, Master of the temple, to let him know that he owes them one. Which apparently is kind of a big deal?
  • So we head out and we're like, uh oh, we're in harpy country now! But what happens instead? A giant eagle.

    • We enter into combat with the giant eagle. Matty smashes it in the face once (with a shortbow), but it is undetered.
    • The eagle swoops down and RIPS THE THROAT OF A SAILOR NAMED NIKOLAI OUT and flies off with the body. Getting all violent up in here.
    • Levi tries to shoot it as it leaves, but no dice. (heh.) And then a nice animal lore roll tells us that we will be safe from that particular giant eagle for about 3 days. Because it will be busy eating Nikolai until then.
    • VEE INSINUATES TO MATTY THAT HE'S HER BEST FRIEND, NOT LEVI, WHICH IS A BLATANT LIE, AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS KIND OF TREASON!

• So we wake up the first mate to navigate since turns out Nikolai was our navigator. Jericho dumps a bunch of ice water on him.

  • As a thanks/punishment, the first mate tells Jericho to wipe down the forecastle. Which obviously leads to a lot of really immature jokes. But Jericho is kind of a whiny, stubborn butthead, so he's like, "no effing way dude. I'll wipe your forecastle or whatever but you don't get to tell me how or when to use my magic!" So Raimund (the first mate) threatens to drown him. And Jericho's just like, sure. Everyone else convinces him that he's probably better use to his church alive or whatever, so instead he just cleans the forecastle while turning it pink.

• So anyway we FINALLY make it close to where we want to go, no one else is dead. But then we notice a Navy ship chasing another ship - and they're comin right for us!!! And the navy ship is launching ballistae. We have to decide whether we want to swerve towards the cliffs and maybe crash, or try to intercept the boat and maybe it crashes into us. At this point, it's very late, many of us did not sleep well the night before due to travel, and many of us (me) are just dumb sometimes. Eventually Vee makes a decision and we swerve around a bit, avoid getting hit twice by two ballistae (yay!), avoid getting hit by the little boat comin right for us (yay!), and then we are told to prepare for boarding by the navy, leaving us with a classic cliffhanger ending, despite the fact that we did not choose the cliff option.

The end!

Quotes of the Night
The time is 2:21 PM
The time is 4:21 PM
MeLange: whoa we're just blazing through naptime huh?

Lemon (Levi Reed): So we're magically at the bar now?
Lemon (Levi Reed): I legitimately do not know what's happening right now
BOB So the group arrives back in Achild and stops at the Seven Sirens where Vee typcially leaves her canoe
Lemon (Levi Reed): we're parking the canoe
Lemon (Levi Reed): great
Ratbone Carder: blowing the quiet bagpipes
Ratbone Carder: playing a dirge
Lemon (Levi Reed): Did the canoe die?

Vee Barlett: pushes Matty forward
Matthias Crowtooth: ow ow ow
Matthias Crowtooth: mumbles something about a goat's smell
Vee Barlett: baas menacingly in his ear
Matthias Crowtooth: shivers in fear

Lemon (Levi Reed): what work does this ship do anyway?
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Mostly floats
Carissa (Vee Barlett): mostly????
Carissa (Vee Barlett): I'd hope 100% of the time!
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Hey, have you tried floating for months at a time? It does well enough

Carissa (Vee Barlett): IS IT A BOAT OR A SHIP?!
Carissa (Vee Barlett): It's a shoat - Michael
Carissa (Vee Barlett): Stop quoting me! It's not even that good. - Michael

BOB brb
Carissa (Vee Barlett): WE DROVE HIM TO DRINK MORE
Michael (Jericho): I'm typing now, sorry bob
Michael (Jericho): We are sorry
Carissa (Vee Barlett): .....are we?
Michael (Jericho): Anyhow

Raimund Feilhaber: What happened to Nicci
Matthias Crowtooth: mumbles
Matthias Crowtooth: E's dead.....
Jericho: If you mean Nickolai, he was carried off by a Giant Eagle and died via sustained blood loss by Throat displacement

Session: 20230908c - 20230908s

• Lemon logs in before Carissa
• Just for BOB's personal info, I do not mind being on camera for the group, but if you end up doing some kind of public stream, then no thank you to being on camera. I misunderstood this when I read it the first time.
• Carissa gets put in charge of... something? Combat? Everything? I'm not sure what, honestly, but she's definitely in charge now.
• So anyway, apparently saving a farmer from a chupacabra is enough to get us invited to a fancy "Sealing of the Bottles" celebration at the temple. The Baron is going to be there, whoever that guy is.

  • We take Vee's canoe up the river to the temple.
  • The party is in full swing when we get called into the "Investigators Chapel" by Hilde Finn, who has a super long title. She and Michel are all like, "Hey, guess what. Some bottles of rum got stolen and we need YOU to get them back for us." So we have to decide if we want to go by boat or by road, and we unanimously choose boat.
  • Before we can get out of there, Hilde is like, wait just a second Vee and Ava. So they stay behind to learn that some magical stamp is hidden in one of those bottles. She doesn't actually care about getting the booze back, but if this magic stamp doesn't get back, or if it gets out that it's lost, things will be BAD.
  • The thief is a one-legged, goateed man who also happens to be friends with the Baron's son. You know, in case it wasn't already complicated enough. His name is Hugo. And she tells us what his favorite bar is, so shouldn't be too difficult to find him. (Famous last words?)
  • Ruffus DeOrange is the thief, Hugo is the son of the Baron per Bob's Comments on OOC. Yeah, I was confused, too. - Carissa

• So we head out to figure out how to go stop this guy, and we're stopped by Anthony, a First Lieutenant in the marines. His captain pulled him away from the party to make him go with us. And I guess maybe also an Investigator is going with us. BUT, PLOT TWIST: They don't have a ship we can use, we have to find one. Can't believe the church is being so stingy, what with this item being so important, but whatever.

  • Vee suggests asking Levi's sister Lila. He's very against the idea, as she's kind of super uptight, but... I mean, what are we going to do, go back to the church and be like, "Sorry, we didn't catch your guy because I didn't want to ask my sister to borrow her boat."

And we end on that super exciting note.

Quotes of the Night:
BOB love this and sorry Ryan TMO will not be in
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I know. I was saying that I could pretend to be him
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): It would mostly involve me saying, "Well, guess it is time to roll a new character." every 30 minutes

Lemon (Levi Reed): Wait, I'm sorry... fisher price was (is?) a division of QUAKER OATS!?
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): Well, yeah. I knew that and that's totally why I kept trying to eat my baby toys
Lemon (Levi Reed): 1991 Fisher Price gained Independance from Quaker Oats
Lemon (Levi Reed): How old are you
Dru5232321 (Matthias Crowtooth): I didn't say I ate my baby toys while stil a baby.

BOB This is the point of the night to recap in OOC
BOB and Decide what you want to share IC as well
BOB everone knows Y, Vee and Ava know Y+X
Lemon (Levi Reed): Sounds like algebra. Where's TMO

Matthias Crowtooth: Listen, about Lavada. I... don't know how to end this sentence.
Vee Barlett: Go on...
MeLange: try a period
Matthias Crowtooth: gives an involuntary laugh at Melange
Vee Barlett: And I do NOT recommend a period. Horrid thing it is.

Marcia Cedillo: Why would you be invited?
Matthias Crowtooth: Everyone was once a peasant, if you go back far enough
Marcia Cedillo: MY family understood their place and rose above it
Matthias Crowtooth: If they understood their place, they would have stayed in it
Marcia Cedillo: Opens mouth at Matthias' comment ..... the closes it

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