Cloak Check - Summaries
Session: 20220204s - 20220204c
- We begin the night with nearly three hours of pure torture. Is that a harsh description? Maybe. Yes, planning is necessary. Yes, sometimes it's more than you think, but it hurts less when you expect it. So yeah, things are done here that you can check the chat yourself if you're curious.
- This means, eventually, finally, we jump the jump for an introductory to Arvandor, Arborea, Arvanaith all of which are technically a part of the Plane of Olympus. We can get into the details of why there are different names and whatnot, or you can click that link.
- Small side note: In order to use the amulet to travel to different planes? You need something from that plane to travel there. Thankfully Bixi collect rocks so if we ever want to return to Pandemonium (um, no), we have rocks from there. We can get to Arvandor because of the gown, and eventually Hell from the library book. Now if we ever want to go anywhere else, we may just have to find a friend with that power to travel the planes who might have their own collection of things. If only we knew such a person(?)...
- Hills and valley or into the forest? It's elflands with an elf leading who loves the woods. Is this a trick question? Even if the half-elf disagrees. Anyways, for as many times as I used to post this song, I am disappointed in myself for not doing so last night so here you go: Into the Woods!
- We go into the woods, with healthy trees and some maintenance, but with wildlife that isn't so helpful. Thankfully, we don't get far before we're interrupted by an elf named Liliafane.
- Another small backtrack to the group spotting.... something in the water, a thin dark smudge drifting down the current, spreading out and dissipating, but what is it? And who is going to end up being the one to tell us to take care of it?
- Back to Liliafane, Guardian of the Western Path who can speak in a tongue all understand.
- Well this is likely a relief to everyone else. Will everyone be like this? Liliafane does seem confused by the taste of our essence (yes, taste) until N'laea points out that they are, kind of sorta, alive? Unusual, but priorities were returning the cloak while alive. Or maybe that's a preference? Either way, yes, they are alive.
- We tell Liliafane our purpose: an audience with Sehanine Moonbow to return something she believe she'd want returned. Vague, but not too vague. Liliafane offers to take us to a place where we can find her.
- Okay, maybe not take us since who knows who'll keep up. She decides to show N'laea and then... er, she disappears? Within seconds of telling us she's on watch to see how the impure taint from the hills is growing. That's not ominous at all!
- Does this mean we go up THAT stream? Towards the beautifully MS paint drawn smudge? Or elsewhere? A quick augury and we find out that no, there are many streams within the forest, but this specific one is not the one we seek. Well that's good because that smudge looks smudge-y.
- So where DO we find a forest glen with a small waterfall and a unicorn resting along the bank? Well... you know how it goes. Find out next sessions!
Quotes of the Night
Liliafane: You cannot tell the essence of a person? how they look, sound, feel, smell, taste?
Indigo: licks the back of his hand
Indigo: I can only taste me
Liliafane: You are still in your flesh
Liliafane: That is why your spirit tastes so
Craigh: ... chunky?
Michael: We can't shorten it to hey "You" though
Michael: Otherwise, cause confusion :)
Carissa: I mean we did for Wu...
Michael: Oh god
Michael: The puns again
Lemon: Why does the chat sometimes flash blue on the edges?
BOB I think when it saves
Lisa: It's the elven special effects
BOB LOL or Lisa's idea
BOB Bixi points upstream
BOB to a thin dark smudge on the waters
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): She says "look, y'all, god is working on an mspaint project!"
Session: 20220211s - 20220211c
- First the disclaimer of the night that apparently BOB has a life? And we therefore had to start late tonight because he decided to do other things?? I didn't know we were allowed to do other things on Fridays...
- But anyways, I digress. We begin the night going through the forest where our luck works in our favor (or the Goddess works in mysterious ways...) and find ourselves... at a pond. Is it the right one?
- We don't see a unicorn or waterfall. Odd. Indigo tosses a rock in and says hello, N'laea looks for and fails to find tracks, Branywn likes the peacefulness while Tiberius kind of does but also wants a little excitement, ya know? Just a little!
- ....which we get in the form of the Goddess! And her Avatar! Uh, it's a bit disjointing, admittedly, when they're separate but the same? Like speaking to two halves of herself? Split personality? And yet she complains about all OUR chatter...
- Anyhow, yes, Sehanine Moonbow appears before us, gets tired of everyone else talking away, freezes them all so she can focus instead on the elves. That's one way to shut everyone else up, I suppose.
- So why DID we steal the cloak?? Er, my Dearest Goddess, I think your avatar doesn't want to tell you the truth that she somehow lost it. Why would thieves return what they found with nothing expected in return, and why can't you just... use that really simply fourth level spell to force us to speak the truth and/or know if we're lying? I forget which it does, but still! Your avatar is probably gaslighting you. You should check on that.
- Yes, that's right, we need to prove ourselves to not be thieves by... becoming thieves? The Deities really do work in mysterious (and confounding) ways. All of which to say she wants us to travel into the Hill Giant Steading and take the black chain hidden away there which is somehow the cause of the blight upon the land.
- Her reasoning: "If you are simple weak adventurers, you will go there and be killed, failing us and proving you are weak. If you are thieves you will go there and find the chain. Then you will use it for yourselves to profit. If you are truly heroes you will go find the chain and then return it here to us."
- At least the Goddess herself is more helpful than the accusatory avatar. After our agreement (okay, N'laea since everyone else is still beguiled), she gives us a pot of magic paint to help hide the entrance to a cave to mark as our sally point.
- With that, everyone is released, the goddess disappears, and the cloak is gone as well so at least we know it was really her? Less sure about her avatar...
- N'laea does her best to give the group most the information she heard skipping only exactly what the chain could do as she does not yet trust one party member. And believes it to be more a Trial of Temptation rather than... er, proving we'd make good thieves? Yeah, sure, yep.
- Are they ghost giants? Er, good question! They were described as Hill Giants, at least, if nothing else?
- Follow up question: what did the Goddess like about us? Because apparently not smiting someone automatically means you're liked? I suppose that could have been true in Tiberius's house growing up, but uh, it doesn't necessarily work like that in all cases....
- Some chatter about whether or not we keep things we find, how big giants are, how the Goddess knew what spells Branwyn knew, if we have other holy artifacts we should try to return (cough cough), and how to fight giants.
- And that wraps it up for the night. See you next week!
Quotes of the Night
Indigo: We have to steal a black chain from hill giants to prove we aren't thieves?
Bixi Fizzlebang: How big are giants?
N'laea: Er, bigger than you?
Carissa (Carissa): Oh TMO! You're portrait fits you perfectly!
Carissa (Carissa): .....*your
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): yore*
Craigh: is wondering if he'd get smote for pulling out a Comprehend Languages scroll
Lisa (Branwyn): think you are paralyzed with joy
TMO (Craigh): was trying to add an unarmed attack to my sheet, sorry for the confusion
Lisa (Branwyn): I think you need at least one arm for Craigh to attack
BOB and I thought that Craigh was already un-armed
Carissa (N'laea): (he just needs a sidearm)
TMO (Craigh): uno-armed
Session: 20220218s - 20220218c
- The good news (probably) is we didn't need watches as we sleep during the night. The bad news we'll get to in a minute.
- So we're in our cave, looking down at the steady which is flat and treeless and an absolute eyesore in Elven Paradise. Bad news number one: it's damp wood and therefore very hard to set on fire. That's just BS, man.
- As we try to decide our plan of action, Indigo asks a very, very interesting question: what ARE the rules about killing things in the afterlife? Can things die? Are these giants or ghost giants? N'laea has no idea because Carissa has no idea. Homework for the week maybe? Then again it's not Elves we might be killing so the Elf doesn't really care...
- So. There is smoke from the kitchens, no guards out front, no windows really, either? The giants seem quite comfortable and not expecting anyone to come after them. There are two doors: front and back. And again, besides being damp and probably full of mold, not much else of interest to note.
- Discussions of maybe bribing them, arm wrestling, whether or not giants can be nice, how stupid they may or may not be, and if they might be talked into just giving up the chain. You know we like going non-violent, first. Can that be done? We'll get back to that here again soon, too. Also worth noting that yes, giants can see somewhat in the dark.
- Well, after improvising a coin flip, we go to the front door and knock. And knock again. And... well the door isn't locked so we'll just... let ourselves in?
- Oh, because the two guards are passed out drunk. Leave them? Kill them? We'll leave them for now. What's behind that big pair of double doors?
- Just the rest of the giants partying, you know. All 22 Hill Giants, 1 Cloud Giant, 1 Stone Giant, 5 Ogres, a Bear, and Chief Nosnra (not that we know their name).
- So as we quietly step back and shut those doors, we realize maybe we need to go a different place? And also maybe try really hard to not split the party? Because that's a lot of giants.
- Bixi points out that if we're looking for a stream or where water would move or a place where that chain could be leeching into the water, we should go downstairs not up. Sounds like a plan! Provided we don't accidentally fall upstairs.
- So through the servant quarters! Harder for giants to get through, but maybe less so for those ogres and/or whatever servants may exist here?
- They find a bedroom with surprisingly nice beds and chests full of.... ears and moldy food? Gross. Leaning less towards these being nice giants, especially to elves and dwarves.
- More boring barracks until... what's the smoky torch at the end there? Bixi, Master Gnome Illusionist, casually walks over, touches it and reveals a giant sword. Everyone else could tell that torch was fake, right? Right??
- Yes, a giant sword, but not just any giant sword! An intelligent one (oh no) that speaks the common tongue plus that of hill, stone, and frost giant. It is +2 in general, but a nice +4 against any giant. Unfortunately, it is also about 10-12 ft long...
- So where is that chain? Will the sword reveal anything useful? Exactly who'll carry the sword?? Find out Friday!... or maybe IC?
Quotes of the Night
Indigo: These rooms are boring
Craigh: Boring means no dying. A successful spy mission is the most boring thing in the world.
Craigh: Running through the halls, killing everything you meet, happens only in bards' tales.
Lorie (Licornah ): Okay... what else do we need to do before heading to the Cave of No Harm?
BOB You are there in the Cave
Lemon: We did it!
Lorie (Licornah ): I think we call it a night here... consider this a win :)
BOB Just go through an evil giant fortress and find a hidden black evil chain and bring it back to a Goddess
Lemon: Or just straight up sneak in and steal their shit?
Lorie (Licornah ): We've done worse, we're Dragonslayers...
Lisa: you like the red wedding plan? sure you do Bob
BOB grins, it is an excellent plan, but can you pull it off?
Lisa: we left the violins at home
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): talwin falls going up the stairs, because he thought he was going down
Session: 20220225s - 20220225c
- We start by continuing the conversation from earlier between Bixi and the Giant Sword. Does it have a name? What does it mean by released? How evil is it really? Who'll actually carry the sword that's like twenty times bigger than Bixi?? Does Bixi even want to keep the sword???
- Some of those questions are to be answered later, but for now we know it'll go by the name of Reven (definitely not a Sith Lord, nope) although was previously Lipthink, and Talwin would be happy to carry it. Probably. Provided it never attempts to control him like it definitely is attempting but thankfully failed.
- So with that sorted, let's keep up our exploring.
- How about we open that door down the hall? And how about we shut it just as quick as that kitchen is full of more than we care to fight?
- What about that door closer to the entrance? Weapons and armor? With another room full of weapons and arm? Plus a hammer that speaks a different language and calls someone (or Craigh) a runt and offers a kiss? Do we try to block access to the room? Nah, let's just keep going.
- So how about we go down that hall? You know, the one with the ogre server? The good news is the server is as bad at carrying food as he is staying alive. Which is to say N'laea kills him. Easily. I mean he WAS in the way, and although she took Indigo's advice and said hi, the ogre was rude and didn't say hi back. So death.
- Do we want to attempt to spike the feast with anger? Yes? No? No yes? Maybe? We go back and forth until some brilliant math is pointed out to us that uh, maybe we shouldn't in case things go wrong? That is a LOT of creatures to fight. Why don't we just keep sneaking? Maybe save it for later, or even the next feast...
- As we continue down the hallway, we see the kitchen in full view: open archway. What now?
- Turn back? Distract? Sneak by? Eek by? There's that side door we didn't come in...
- Nightshade, the Elven Cat, offers to be a distraction. Branwyn also offers to cantrip a distraction but... the kitchen is already distracted? Nightshade still helps, but being successfully observational might have saved us some discussion. We sneak by successful.
- Three doors: one at the end, one with the sound of dice rolling behind it, and then the one Craigh opens to food and store and another room with... a staircase! Down!
- That's right, we finally find our way downstairs where emptiness (we hope), a cleared floor, and a secret door await us.
- Of course this means we end here for the night. See you Friday!
Quotes of the Night
Michael (Talwin): This really works out well for Talwin since all his points are in Two Handed....
Carissa (N'laea): (don't jinx yourself, Michael. You haven't dealt with Lemon in your head yet)
Indigo: There's like 40 people to fight in there if we go in
Indigo: Well not people but you know
Michael (Talwin): Hey, Giants are people too!
Lisa (Indigo): tell your sword that
N'laea: Unless we hide it from them. If we end up fighting, do we want them to have access to that?
Lisa (Indigo): Is there a lock on the door?
Raelynn: Maybe an illusion?
Raelynn: Unless someone knows an easy way to make all that gear useless.
Lisa (Indigo): fireball
Bixi Fizzlebang: Who was saying that? What language was it?
Craigh: Not a clue. Another hunk of talking metal.
Bixi Fizzlebang: is speechless
BOB Mark that down Craigh
BOB Bixi is speechless on 25-10-351
BOB Lanek can drag the Ogre back down the hall
Raelynn: Oh!
Raelynn: You should stick one of the weapons in him! Then it looks like a murder mystery!
Lanek: let's drop a shield over the body at least
Lanek: make it hard to see
Raelynn: Oh, or that....
Lanek: but I like the idea
Craigh: I can go if you want me.
Craigh: To. Want me to.
Branwyn: It was 5 giants I'd be all in. All it takes is one slip and then one runs to the hall and we have us against 70 - so I am not thrilled with those odds
Carissa (N'laea): (when Lisa does math, then it's serious)
Session: 20220304s - 20220304c
- SO! The secret door? Behind it is a coffer that looks full of gems, but there isn't a real gem in sight (thanks magic gem finding sword!). Is it an illusion? Are there traps?
- Well there are four manticore. They're thankfully caged up, but they still try to hit N'laea with tail spikes. They fail, she decides to head back to the group because, caged or not, it's not worth trying to fight them alone.
- How about we explore the rest of downstairs, first? Surely that's a good idea where nothing will go wrong, right? We don't necessarily know for sure the chain is behind the secret door and potentially guarded by manticores so we'll handle them last. Explore we do!
- ....and stumble into a bugbear den. To be fair, Indigo stumbles in, gets beat up some, kills some in return, kills one chief, and after they die Tiberius finds a door with another chief.
- Yes, a short summary. It was mostly a night of combat. There might be more. We still don't know where the chain is or who else is down here, but we're going to find out, aren't we?
- ...on Friday, as always. See you then!
Quotes of the Night
BOB No to giant sword for Talwin as he does not know how to use it
Lisa (Branwyn): It's 10-12 feet long - swing it around it's gotta hit something!
Lisa (Branwyn): can you make the bugbear that works just keep hitting Indigo however many times?
Lisa (Branwyn): can't believe I just typed that
BOB OK I feel better now, I just missed something at the beginning it is now back to normal for me
Carissa (N'laea): (you feel better at the expense of poor Indigo)
BOB Well at least it is only punching and not mace attacks, etc.
Carissa (N'laea): (I think that still will land you in Anger Management classes...)
Session: 20220311s - 20220311c
- A session of combat means very little summary to write which is sometimes a good thing? That mean things went... somewhere? I refuse to say good or bad because I still don't know.
- Before we get into it, it is important to note here how we talked and lightly planned about our next moves. Do we want to fight all those bugbears? No. So let's quickly take care of these, and run back to the secret door to hide and regroup. Okay? Everyone got that?
- Tiberius, Indigo, and N'laea do as they do what they can to clean up that room of awake bugbears bar one that runs off through yet another door because no, we're not allowed to have closed up rooms or anything.
- Most everyone else who isn't fighting gets that memo, too, as they either support the frontliners finishing up or run to the room first because that's best for them.
- And then there is Youtargim. Yogurt. You. Dumb butt. Dumb shit. Dumb dumb dumb dumb. A big F-you to You. Yeah. You heard me. What does dumb ass do? Run down the hallway, purposefully provokes the bugbears we DIDN'T want to provoke and inform them of our existence and... then runs. RUNS. Is he fighting them? No. For some DUMB BAT reason, he thinks we want them all clustered up to....? To what? Fireball them AND us? No. Who has any of the right spells to do ANYTHING about them?? Dumb donkey. It's not the bugbears you need to fear murdering you now.
- So we start the long, tedious drawn out combat run situation where everyone slowly filters out, or fights, or both. Indigo is hurt and has to retreat at this point, Tiberius and N'laea have an internal struggle of both of them expecting to be the last one to retreat and therefore both staying and/or being far slower because they're both staying because the other one is? I don't know, fighters or something. Branwyn is just exasperated by the fact that, from the start, she said run, so why isn't everyone running?
- Oh, but don't worry. Youtargim did run. Ran far and is already safe and sound behind that secret door away from the consequences of his own action. Don't worry. We noticed.
- But back to that escaped bugbear? He's sounding the alarm, apparently thinks we're... slaves? Hmm, that could work in our favor over being intruders. And yes, we DO smell, or at least the elves do, but unconfirmed yet if the smell is described as chunky.
- With three bugbears left around Tiberius, N'laea finally into the main big room.... a hill giant appears. Oh, and he has a friend behind him. Just what we need, right? A giant seeing exactly where we're going to hide?
- Tiberius decides the giant is far more threatening, leaves the three bugbears who oddly do not follow him out, and goes to attack the giant. N'laea prepared, but if he insists... she'll just keep shooting and moving with her bow. Branwyn, remembering the Hill Giants from the last wedding she crashed, conjures up the jaws of death and... the giant, kinda, just... dies before we get good use from that spell?
- Yeah, this one and the next are just... not very full of life. The first did actually prevent itself from being turned into... we'll never know, but it still died. Kind of easily. Let's not complain about that, okay? Okay.
- Now with no witnesses, we're all back behind the secret door that leads to the manticores. What's our next move? Where the hell is that chain? Who gets first dibs on murdering Youtargim?? We'll find out soon.
Quotes of the Night
Youtargim: Hey they are right where you want them!
BOB He drew out the bad guys and ran away to let you blast them
Raelynn : [Translation] You are the BIGGEST idiot I've ever met, and I've met Sundown!!
BOB then Tiberius and Toutargim
Lorie (Licornah (W): (LOL - Tout à gim - much better name)
TMO (Craigh): and by 'sneak' I mean 'barge boldly into'
Lorie (Licornah (W): (Hello, we're from the bugbear census bureau, could you answer a few questions?)
Carissa (N'laea): OH WAIT it's a cube that's made that's 50 ft up to 60 yds away
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): Can we standardize the units of measurement? lol. I did not sign up for math class every week.
Carissa (Raelynn): (I take back my initial cast, include Yout in that curse)
Carissa (Raelynn): (CURSE HIM)
Session: 20220318s - 20220318c
- The good news is this time around, we had more chance of exploring and a bit less of combat. Still some combat, but less of it plus some healing! Mostly!
- We're back in the room with the manticores. Recalling our more recent manticore battle, we decide to take the combined route of threats and an attempt to negotiate. Most people would likely talk if a giant floating jaw... thing was threatening them, right?
- Er, no. Nothing. The manticores say nothing even when the jaws bite them. Maybe... they're too young to understand us? Maybe they don't understand the languages we speak?
- Well, Branwyn and N'laea try W Comm with no success. N'laea also offers Elvish, Gnomish, Hin, and Woodland. What about Jotun? We'll never know. Youtargim is too stuck up to attempt to talk to anything that isn't a person. Useless.
- But Bixi does offer the possibility that maybe they're just hungry? They do keep trying to hit us with spikes, but not often. While poor Bixi doesn't succeed with her cantripping, N'laea does have some fresh apples in her pack. The manticores devour it. Good job winning her pity. We'll leave you alive and maybe bring you some food back later.
- North of where the manticores reside is another gate and another hallway to... somewhere.
- Before deciding to go relieve himself, Craigh pointed out there was a trap nearby. Licornah does some priestly magic to discover a pit trap waiting to be sprung. Unfortunately, priestly magic doesn't tell us how to disable it, our good thieves are busy evacuating their bowels or something, and the thief left with us is, as I said earlier, useless.
- With currently no good way to get across, and hopes Craigh and Lanek had enough fiber to join us again soon, we decide to leave the room, not touch the levers, and explore more of downstairs. What will we find?
- Favoring the north, we discover.... a room for giants! And a giant! But first thing first.
- The room is empty, a place for miners, and with three chests full of 14,000 GP. I don't remember the exact amount (14232?) nor did it translate to chat, but it was at least 14,000 GP. While the elf doesn't understand the concept of gold, human minds do. We decide to see what else is up here before we take the hard earned payroll of the giant miners. With an E. We're not stealing from babies here.
- The most northern room of the north? A miner. With an E. A giant one at that who doesn't take kindly to N'laea claiming to be lost, again, and tosses a boulder at her. Not nice. Tiberius and Indigo join her in slashing the giant up while Bixi and Raelynn attempt, and fail, at shooting its eyes out with slings. Branwyn also attempts to blind it, but for some reason, everything is immune to her magic here. The giant does toss N'laea into Indigo, but they brush it off and kill the giant. Like, kill kill it. N'laea isn't happy. She makes sure it's definitely dead.
- Annnnnd that's it. That's all up here. Let's grab that gold and go!
- Back in the main chamber, Youtargim listens at a door where he heard noise. He told Tiberius he heard noise, but no one else. So we just... ignore that door. Now, N'laea does listen at another door, hears a giant singing and doing... something, so we ignore that door, too. But there is this hallway we haven't check out yet to the east...
- The hallway? Yet another ridiculously long hallway? Well, there's the sound of water at the end. Isn't that what we're looking for? It does get N'laea excited until we reach.. a well. A well with nice, clean, non-polluted water. Welp.
- Admiral Indigo at your service! He decides to dive down to see if there is anything of interest at the bottom of this spring-fed well. And there is! About 14 ft deep, there's an outlet at the bottom that could fit normal non-giant-sized people. But where does it go?
- Bixi also points out that while the springs from the walls are filling the well, the well isn't overflowing so they're filling it slowly.
- Is removing the water temporarily a good idea? Do we dive and check out that outlet for those who can swim? Or do we explore the rest of below and see if another passage leads us to where we want? There's mining and water and somehow these are combining to leech nastiness from that chain downstream, but where is it??
- Let's hope we find out Friday! See you then!
Quotes of the Night
Lisa: either way is fine. You want to threaten to rip the flash from their bones?
Carissa (Raelynn): You're the more skill diplomat so if that works, sure! ;)
Lisa: I'm not sure that is exactly diplomacy
Branwyn: lost bran's icon
Carissa (N'laea): she tried to go through a wall
Carissa (N'laea): ...wait maybe she's stuck in it
Branwyn: stupid walls always getting in the way
Bixi Fizzlebang: What do manticores eat? Maybe they are just hungry
Carissa (N'laea): (FEED YOUT TO THEM)
Shislif: you'd think you could rely on thieves smh
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): They both have nervous poops, what can I say. Thieves, man.
BOB the coins weigh 300+ pounds just for planning
Carissa (N'laea): Talwin can carry it all.
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): Talwin is having the longest poop of his life, we can't count on that.
BOB You tried to go through a closed door with her Carissa
BOB that is a known glitch
Carissa (Raelynn): so the door was the mimic, got it
Youtargim: I am just making sure we are safe, Tiberius and I are guarding your rear
Raelynn: You should have thought of that before dragging bugbears towards me!
Lorie (Licornah (W): (did he come with a receipt we can return?)
The north face of this area is being cleared, and a few tools are in that area. The place is otherwise unremarkable and empty. Encounter?
Lisa (Branwyn): I like the encounter has a question mark
Lisa (Branwyn): Answer? No thank you
Carissa (N'laea): the question mark makes it sound like an option, so I vote no
BOB So Indigo takes 1d6 and N'laea takes 2d6 points of damage
Lisa (Indigo): 1 pls
GM: [d6 = 1]
Carissa (N'laea): Nice!!
Carissa (N'laea): 2 pls
GM: [2d6 = 2+2]
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): You asked for 2...
Session: 20220325s - 20220325c
- A quick summary now as I don't know when it'll otherwise be done, but you should read the Story Chat once it's done and you get a chance if you don't want to skim the actual chat. You've been doing both anyways and I don't need to tell you all this, right? Good.
- Rather than split the party (foreshadowing), we decide to explore the rest of downstairs before we go through that opening in the well. Not everyone can swim, and not everything is waterproof, so let's wait on worrying about that, okay?
- With the help of two thieves who cannot lockpick things, and a mage who can, the rest of the most northernly eastern passage is explored.
- A chamber full of various tools for digging and masonry, a room full of suspicious looking wine and barrels and kegs, and a deadend. Still no chain. Isn't there an easier way to find it??
- Okay but really, wine with a bung seal with a blob of black wax impressed with a death's head. Does this sound like wine anyone should drink?? We have no way to carry it back so we just leave it which might be for the best.
- We return to the big room and listening to the door Youtargim originally listened to and hear... some language N'laea does not speak. Yout says when he listened, it soudned like orders, but no, he doesn't speak what this language is, either. N'laea kindly steps aside and lets Yout open the door.
- Inside are two armed bugbears plus a gong and a mallet on the door. This is important as one bugbear simply uses Yout to ring the gong. We'll get to those consequences in a minute.
- N'laea kills the bugbears, and the skeletons hiding in the cells, and they find a Dishevealed Human in one of the jail cells. Bixi at least tries to tend to him. More on him next week...
- While N'laea, Craigh, and Yout explore that section, the sound of the gong causes a Grotesque Hill Giant to come out of the room of questionable sounds from last week. His icon reads "The Keeper" which is never a good sign.
- Yeah, he has a battleaxe that roughs up Tiberius, and he isn't easy to hit, but for once we have a giant who isn't good at saving against magic and gets eaten by Many Jaws and stabbed for good measure by Indigo. That could have gone worse?
- The Keeper also has two Ape pets? Friends? Well Bixi does befriend one of them, but not the other one. While this delays the other one, it does eventually attack Tiberius who decides to put that ape down. The other one, whether from fear or Rae trying to persuade it with tone to run, does eventually run.
- And no, the apes speak a language no one knows, and no, we have not yet looked into The Keeper's Room nor have we looked to see what he may have on him.
- With that giant dead, and time still left on the spell, Branwyn does a soft split of the party and tries to find something to kill by going south.
- She does find the bugbear that previously ran away, but it finds her, too. Thankfully, Indigo went to see what she was doing and helps her kill that bugbear.
- Did I mention it was in a room with unarmed orc slaves? And a forge? I wonder if there is water in the forge to cool down things that are... forged....
- So we have more places to explore, bodies to loot, and a new human among us. Stay tuned.
Quotes of the Night:
(Someone else can put favorite quotes here)
Session: 20220401s - 20220401c
- While Branwyn, Indigo, and Raelynn make their way back, the others are introduced to Dishelved (sic) Human. I believe this qualifies as an official welcome to Sharif (Shislif)!
- You know who gets put in charge of dealing with the Dishelved (sic) Human named Zayden? Bixi. Fun for her as she tries to figure out what to do about him before Branwyn returns.
- During the chat, we discover Zayden entertained giants, that Bixi didn't know giants eat people, that Youtargim has still not learned, Zayden speaks two types of Common and hails from Hallstatt, and then Branwyn shows up.
- We then learn Zayden has a pocket piano, Hallstatt is the Celtic lands, Zayden may or may not be a canary in the coal mines, there is some giant stone carving contest going on, Youtargim is a liar, and that Zayden did notice his stone giant captor talking to a sword. How odd... and no, Zayden doesn't know the location of the chain.
- So with pleasantries out of the way, what happened to Bixi's ape friend?
- Well, you see, when your new friends kills your presumed mate and owner, you're likely not happy about it and will take that unhappiness out on anyone and everyone. Long story short, ape attacks Branwyn, N'laea tries to reason with ape after pushing it back, and Tiberius doesn't give it time to relent as he, ironically, also doesn't like someone trying to attack and kill his love. It's a cruel circle of life, ain't it?
- Inside the room we find some potions, more cold, gems, and such. The Keeper's body was given a cursory look by N'laea, but a more thorough one by Craigh, but had nothing of interest, I think?
- Talwin finally returns from his extended bathroom break. We give him a quick update, MiraLAX, and are on our way to explore the area Branwyn just returned from earlier.
- There is a quick conversation between Talwin and Reven/Lipthink the sword. I don't know guys, it's sounding a bit evil, but Talwin wants to convince us bathing the sword in blood to release... something, isn't as evil sounding as we think. Not at all!
- Many months (real time and maybe game time?) later, Tiberius finally discovered N'laea also has a talking sword. Is it an elf thing? Is Talwin secretly an elf?? Does he not realize it's the sword we found cleaning out the mines and not the one she came with??? So many questions.
- As we go, we do find a nice golden chain with a fire opal. Not THE chain we wanted to find, but a chain. It's something, I guess. We also find way too many smell, gross orc slaves. Let's just leave them be, shall we?
- Not too far from there we find some dwarf slaves. Now those we care about a little more, to which Talwin runs over to free them... and alerts the nearby Fire Giant and his Souless Fire Giant Friend.
- The giant sword isn't making its hits, and that giant has a really painful sword in its grips. So, uh, let's stop there for tonight and come up with a better plan before Friday, shall we?
Quotes of the Night
Youtargim: That is what I have done for my Princess
Youtargim: but I did get to become her captain
Youtargim: in the end it all worked out
Zayden: Oh captain my captain!
Youtargim: Show the Countess your worth so she will learn to trust you
Craigh: Countess, not Captain.
Zayden: Oh Countess my Countess :)
Zayden: The good news, at the end of their parties, the giants enter a giant slumber
Craigh: Better than a pixie slumber
Youtargim: I was going to say Craigh, that is worse than any joke I ever told
Craigh: Good.
Tiberius: HEY ! BIXI! You talk to swords!
Bixi Fizzlebang: Um, I gave it to Talwin and he's still pooping
Tiberius: WOW
Tiberius: Maybe he needs to see a priest about that
Lorie (Licornah): (and don't come see me... I don't have the anti-poo sphere)
Tiberius: How about you Zayden? do you hate giants?
Zayden: Hate is a heavy word, stresses the vocal cords, I try not to carry it with me so I may travel light
BOB Down the end of each hallway there is a door
Carissa (N'laea): (you know Bob, when you said elflands, I was excited for elfland stuff, not endless hallways)
Lisa (Indigo): yes this is not the elf adventure I was imagining
BOB warm smile after you find the chain you can relax and enjoy the woods for as long as you want
Carissa (N'laea): freakin' five real life years at this rate
TMO (Craigh): Twenty .... years .... later ....
Talwin: Why are the amounts all divisible by four
TMO (Craigh): giants are giant math nerds.
Carissa (N'laea): (says TMO, the giant)
TMO (Craigh): with a math degree
Carissa (N'laea): exactly!!
Session: 20220408s - 20220408c
- We return to our fight with the fire giant and the painful sword. Just what are we going to do about that?
- We plan. We plan other plans. We have plans for our plans. Not too much planning, but planning because going in without one could mean the death of a PC. You want multiple plans in case one or more fail. We won't necessarily use them all, but options are good. With a possible PC death, nothing is off the table.
- And this is a reminder that, besides not always using the plans we plan, we can't plan for everything, both good and bad.
- So we got our potential plans: metal fatigue potion, priest spell to stop metal, priest spell to turn weapon against owner, other potions, and wishes for a lucky night. How does it go?
- The Bad News: Our priests, through a combination of map confusion and just bad luck, can't cast a spell this round, and this is the crucial round to act. Some potion options are also now off the table as a certain NPC decides to run TOWARDS the giant rather than stay back a moment so we can toss in explosion potions. Maybe he didn't know? Or he's just trying to be heroic. Who knows?
- The Fantastic News: The dice loved us tonight! N'laea not only succeeds her blinding shot, but manages an arrow in each eye. Indigo hits the painful sword with the metal fatigue potion on the first try. Craigh has a Potion of Invulnerability for Talwin to drink same round, and Zayden successfully climbs and backstabs the giant. Woohoo!
- All of which to say, no dead PCs tonight, but we do gain one dead fire giant. What about his Souless Friend?
- His Souless Friend does not like Elvish, death, or having his eyes stabbed out by arrows so when Youtargim gives him the option to surrender, yeah, the giant takes it.
- But to what end? He only tells us we'll never find the chain, that it is in a secret room. Maybe he means THE secret room? Hmm...
- In addition to the that, we find out his job is to make weapons to fight the elves, his wariness of elves and their chaotic nature, and that's about it.
- So N'laea wants to know why we're keeping him alive? He hasn't given them any good reason to stay alive except that he did yield, but if he goes right back to contributing to the war with her people, then why let him live? The others, believing at this point it'd be coldblooded murder (pfft, morals) disagree and decide to chain the giant up. Or at least his legs. And then Youtargim gives the giant a spear???
- I suppose we should also give the small side note of the dwarves, also chained up, now being freed, but unfortunately only able to speak Dwarvish, and of all the new languages many characters know, we still do not have someone who speaks Dwarvish. Fun.
- We're also left with even more gold to pillage, but no room scroll to currently open. Are we about to have the worst slumber party ever?
- That's where we leave the night: an only partially chained giant, with arms still available to free himself, and a spear to backstab us, plus a gaggle of dwarves who we can't communicate with effectively.
- Things to think about through the week! See you Friday!
Quotes of the Night
BOB Ok so two called shots to his eye
Carissa (N'laea): (it's one to each eye - we want complete blindness)
BOB ONLY because she is an elf
Carissa (N'laea): :)
Talwin: (Um, if an arrow hit the same eye twice, it's in his brain)
BOB and with the critical hit
Michael (Talwin): (She lobotomized him the hard way)
Carissa (N'laea): (pithing with arrows)
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): Yeah, if we're going for this so-called "realism," that giant is useless now.
BOB I will say that no damage roll is needed, that N'laea with her elven wizardry with her bow goes THUNK THUNK one arrow into each eye and totally blinds the giant with the sword
Michael (Talwin): (So, with chant, his head just explodes)
BOB so yes to the Chant
BOB no to his head exploding
Carissa (N'laea): (boo)
[TURN] Giant, Fire
drops his sword and grabs at his eyes, reaching for the arrows
TMO (Craigh): if you just pull the arrows out it makes the wound worse
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): TMO, don't give him any tips.
Lisa (Indigo): not a pretty sight
Shislif (Zayden): oh ok, what are the advantages of singing vs musical instrument? I know a bard should be able to inspire their group so that sounds cool
Lisa: yes climb the giant and start singing Baby Shark in his ear to distract him!
Craigh: Do do DO-doodoo
Branwyn: moves forward and tries to stab a giant
TMO (Craigh): of course she does...
Indigo attacks the Fire Giant Soulless with his short swords hitting him in the hip and quite unbelievably on the top of the giant’s head, wounding him.
Session: 20220415s - 20220415c
- Here we are, still at the Giant Steading, having a grand 'ole time. The good news is, at this point, what few doors remain is easy for Branwyn to guess hide slaves or guards, and we're not here to free the slaves, so why do we care?
- To clarify, if we weren't nearly dead, we might care. We did save those dwarves, right? No, I don't know what orc slaves you're talking about. BUT we're hurt, tired, and if it's a coin flip between another fight and more slaves, well, sorry slaves.
- We should also note that Lanek has also now returned from his extremely extensive bathroom break. We don't fault him for it. He's old, ya know? Things just stop working right, and if he has twenty bowel movements, and has to pee every ten feet, then as long as his doctor isn't concerned about it, neither are we! More to the point, even if he IS old and malfunctioning, he's still our best bet to dislodge a trap so that's what we'll do!
- As we approach the secret door, a giant calls down to the other (beyond dead) giants to come up for lunch. With no resurrections spells we want to waste on that, Youtargim attempts to pretend he's one of them as the rest of us rush to hide into the secret room.
- Was it just me, or did you also hear a sudden change in the music when that happened...? Or was it this one?
- Anyways! Yes, we close the door, realize we have a time limit, and need to find the chain and get out. Now. Ish. Hopefully? So let's start with those levers!
- With N'laea standing out in the middle to watch, Indigo pulls the first lever. Why isn't until the summaries I think of posting amazing videos like this one? Which is to say: wrong lever!
- It's a bit less dramatic than that, though, as it's only the inner gate. One manticore does try to escape, but fails, and when the gate comes down, it catches its tail. Sorry manticore, but for our health and safety, we'll leave you like that for now.
- Second lever? Correct! So even though the one manticore did briefly skim N'laea with spikes, we're otherwise unharmed as we go to that secret passage with the trap that Lanek so very easily disarms. Woohoo!
- And behind this pit fall trap is.... deadly mold. No, not black mold, but the deadlier yellow mold. Okay, but seriously, a quick Googling does not list black mold in the D&D world? Only the real world? Huh, go figure! {Note: there are many other types of molds, puddings and jellies that the group has not encountered yet but with a botany check... }
- But anyways, yes, yellow mold is deadly, and Bixi and her fabulous all-knowing botany skills tells us that its spore will kill you within a day and within 10 ft, and may also be intelligent, but the good news is fire works against it! Now how to do that from a safe distance...
- The mages mage and make fire and things, eventually successfully make a torch that Indigo, having previously proven fantastic at throwing things, throws at the mold which catches fire and burns to Oblivion. Woo!
- And here we have the loot, but not just any loot, but THE loot. The whole reason we're here. The chain of all chains, the link of linking our adventure, and all that good stuff.
- But uh, it's not right? I mean, it is THE chain, but it's made of Drow Metal and infused with the Power of Chaos (but not like the good kind, the evil kind). You know, the kind Lolth likes, and could use against Arvanaith. Something isn't adding up here, and no one is happy about that, but we'll worry after we get out of here.
- What else do we find? Two flaming swords, a quiver of +2 arrows, a +3 spear, more gold, a locket iron box, and some coffers full of jewelry, platinum, and gems. Maybe enough to make up for the gold we didn't take? It'll have to do, even if some of us wish there was a short sword and bow amongst the goods...
- There are stairs here, too. Let's take these, instead, to get out, shall we?
- In this stairwell, we also find some things. Most helpful is a map so we can escape easier, as well as a set of raid instructions signed by someone named Eclavdra.
- We emerge into an empty room, the door we come out of a secret one that was hidden by a manticore hide. This leaves some of us having second thoughts about leaving the poor baby manticores behind now. Are dwarves really a good trade off? Time will tell.
- So that's how we proceed, carefully listening to doors, opening them, sneaking along. The exit isn't too far at all, and we haven't heard anything yet behind the doors, so we're in the clear, right?
- Right, or maybe we shouldn't believe the old malfunctioning man nor the poor dehydrated, possibly delirious former slave when they tell us the cost is clear.
- Anyways, how will we handle the 14 dire wolves that are actually on the opposite of the door and standing between us and the exit? Find out Friday!
Quotes of the Night
BOB The slow loading should only be this time
BOB as you have the sync on your computer now
Lisa: It was slow loading last week too
BOB I know but I can hope
BOB I promise to not buy anything this week
BOB Branwyn can make an inuition check
Branwyn: [CHECK] Wisdom (vs. Target 13) [SUCCESS by 4] [d20 = 9]
Carissa (N'laea): Branwyn can tell some of the slow loading is also from Bob's purchases.
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): Lanek is allowed to be gone forever, he's pretty old. Old people are SUPPOSED to have pooping issues.
Carissa (N'laea): this feels like a trap
Spring (Lanek): a meta trap
BOB cannot imagine why Carissa thinks that
Spring (Lanek): because of course it's a trap with traps, which may be in its entirety a trap
TMO: and is there something past the manticores y'all weren't able to explore because both thieves were gone pooping?
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): AFTER ALL THAT
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): IT WAS RIGHT WHERE WE TRIED TO GO THE FIRST TIME
BOB warm smile with Lemon, you could have tried to walk across that pit trap at any time without any thieves you wanted to. :)
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): It's not my fault that all our thieves have digestion issues!
Lemon: Do we have to take the dwarves? We freed them, isn't that enough
Lisa: and left them in a giant fortress that enslaved them?
Lemon: Do you think the dwarves would save US over a pile of treasure?
Lisa: sometimes you are a cold woman Lemon :)
Lisa (Branwyn): can we get rid of Youtargim's height label?
Lisa (Branwyn): That 5 ft bothers me for some unknown reason
Spring (Lanek): it's VERY IMPORTANT that he's 5 ft
Carissa (Raelynn): Because he's rubbing it in Indigo and Bixi's faces?
Lanek: naw, wait, i'll call him Starfish, since they also have five feet
Lisa (Branwyn): Can we say we can bring dwarves home instead of manticores and still make people happy?
Carissa (Raelynn): I think zoos are better ethically than a freak show that dwarves would be in the Mist but okay.
Carissa (Raelynn): WAIT! If we hire the dwarves as the zookeepers we'd get massive admission! Combine it! Okay. We can start with dwarves.
BOB Tiberius is standing at the place where the gate could come down, in the wild idea he can catch it and stop it from falling
Lemon (Bixi Fizzlebang): Tiberius is about to die
Lisa (Branwyn): Please don't stand in the insta death place
TMO (Craigh): honestly, where *else* would he stand?
Zayden: Let one of the fighters go, I been rolling turds all day
Carissa (N'laea): (is that where everyone's poop has been going???)
Lisa: release your character and it will be easier - you don't have to remember to alt-enter
Carissa: easiest to release your character so you don't have to keep holding ctrl to talk
Carissa: damn, Lisa keeps typing faster than me lately!
Lisa: crazy!
Shislif (Zayden): how do you release your character?
Lisa: right click and then click on eraser
Carissa: right click icon at top, chose the eraser icon
Carissa: ....I shouldn't even try tonight, lol
Session: 20220422s - 20220422c
The special Lemon edition! Brought to you by Carissa's busy life and Lemon's insufficient knowledge on how to format this thing! Doing my best, please feel free to fix my formatting mistakes, of which I am sure there will be many.
Returning the favor and cleaned up formatting a bit. Hopefully to what you want. - Carissa
- We begin with lots of loading, and Lemon making references that no one will ever get. But also, more importantly, a plan to go get the giant prisoner, make him carry (/ride him?) to safety through the wolves. Eventually vetoed due to that plan taking a minimum of 40 minutes, and everyone just wants to get the heck out of here.
- Upon opening the doors, we discover that these are no ordinary dire wolves. One is SHOCKINGLY hideous (not just averagely hideous), one is very shapeless, another is rotund (I sense a rivalry there), one has a remorseful blameworthy voice, one has a delighted gait (should have taken that one home to the kids), and one, of course, is voluptuous. Luckily for us, the men who usually notice these things are too busy trying not to get murdered by the rest of the wolves to notice.
- We also learn that one of the dwarves is missing his left knee. The rest of his leg, and body, are completely fine, though, so STOP STARING AT HIM, JEEZ.
- We also ALSO learn that Yogurt has been hovering 5 feet off the ground THIS ENTIRE TIME and no one noticed.
- So anyway, Licornah decides to chat up Mr. Dire Wolf 7, who does not appear to have any emotional baggage, but maybe you just need to get to know him before he opens up about it. She goes for it, and 3 of the wolves have never experienced someone trying to truly love them for who they are, baggage and all, and they just stop in their tracks, stunned, and trying to process what is happening. The other two that hear her are not really ready for the kind of emotional growth they need, so they attack.
- Bixi spooks one of them, by suggesting some good therapy would really help, and Mr. Dire Wolf 7 runs away. Just goes to show that you really can't help anyone who isn't ready to be helped.
- Branwyn casts a really good fireball and takes out another 3 wolves, and startles at least one of the others. This has been scary on an emotional level for them already, and now it's turning into a very real physical level of fear as well.
- Indigo attacks one wolf, and while they may have a lot of stuff to figure out when all this is over, one thing they do know is they're not going to stand for watching their friends get hurt, so very shapeless makes his way over to Indigo and takes a nibble.
- Tiberius, Indigo, and the elf cat all get caught in the scuffle. Branwyn casts Gitterdust, whatever that is, and eventually everyone makes it to the gate.
- The beam that WOULD NORMALLY lock the doors is nowhere to be seen, so we just push open the doors and get on out of there, leaving that problem for another day.
- Yogurt "escorts" N'laea and Rae out the door, by which we PROBABLY mean he hides between them while running towards the door, and then gently touches their backs as they exit, so he can pretend like he did something useful, while still being a total creeper. Why aren't they doing anything? Maybe they have had sudden intestinal cramps. Who can say.
- The cat meows
- Once outside, Zayden randomly runs 300 feet north for no apparent reason. Maybe the dude is just psyched to stretch his legs after being prisoner for so long. We may never know.
- Craigh does something mysterious with aniseed to keep the wolves from tracking us. Does he dump it on the ground? Does he put it on us? Does he spray it in the air and we walk through the mist, and wear it like too much cologne? We may never know.
- TMO - As I understand it, Aniseed is a very stinky compound. When spread out on the ground and other surfaces across your trail, it completely overwhelms the noses of tracking dogs - all they're able to scent from that point on is the Aniseed, all other scents are completely drowned out.
- We decide not to waste a scroll on the seven dwarves, despite the fairy tales they might have been able to tell us, and we try to pantomime something like "Do you want to come with us, or are you peace-ing out?" They seem pretty confused, but eventually peace out, which, honestly, we're fine with.
- Zayden unintentionally insults the elflands. Branwyn, in a much nicer way than this, tells him to calm the eff down.
- Craigh does something mysterious with aniseed to keep the wolves from tracking us. Does he dump it on the ground? Does he put it on us? Does he spray it in the air and we walk through the mist, and wear it like too much cologne? We may never know.
- We run into a hill giant on the way back, but Branwyn is a freaking genius and summons not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Ankhegs.
- They also have some baggage. One is strangely powerful, one has a trembling demeanor, one has a flawed giggle. But despite all that, they manage to take down the giant for us and disappear into the night, with Indigo getting a dig in as well.
- Bixi is SUPER IMPRESSED and wants to learn that spell.
- They also have some baggage. One is strangely powerful, one has a trembling demeanor, one has a flawed giggle. But despite all that, they manage to take down the giant for us and disappear into the night, with Indigo getting a dig in as well.
- We all make it back to the cave with no other problems and have lunch and/or pass out. Goodnight, and good luck!
Quotes of the Night
Shislif: Could Youtargim and I go chat with our prisoner giant, have him escort us past the wolves?
BOB: That Giant is downstairs and about 20 minutes away to get there and talk with him.
Shislif: Well, if we close the door, there's no rush is there?
Lisa: And you would unchain him and bring him through hoping he won't yell for help.
Shislif: I would hope that :)
Lorie: actually BOB, I disbelieve the illusion of the wolves
BOB: chuckles with Lorie at an old joke but no, they are really there
Lorie: Can I get the backstory on the remorseful blameworthy voice dire wolf then please? And the "very shapeless" dire wolf too - they sound like they have self-esteem issues and need hugs.
Shislif: So we decide what we doing?
TMO: Calling a furrier
Shislif: We were on the inside right?
BOB: and I will give Zay an Intelligence check
Shislif: Can we use the beam to lock from the outside?
Lisa: We don't need to lock it, but hoping we can run out without taking all the wolves with us.
Shislif: Well when we're all out we can lock it behind us just to be safe.
BOB: Zayden realizes that the door locks from the inside, and if it is unlocked that means that someone must be outside to come back in.
Shislif: I don't think I realize that.
Lisa: That was your INT revelation
Shislif: I know but I don't want to accept it.
Shislif: I'm in denial.
TMO: Aniseed.
BOB: sniff sniff
ANISEED
BOB: smiles, see TMO is thinking
BOB: and has potential solutions
TMO: Craigh is prepared for a few situations, just can't do much in most of what we find ourselves in lately. So he can cover our tracks.
Lisa: Good! He can take care of our odor issues :)
TMO: Have you tried bathing?
BOB: Your group heads east up in to the hills and as you get deeper into the woods you encounter
TMO: 7 giant spiders!
Lemon: Baba Yaga
Lorie: A friendly faerie who takes pity on us, fully heals us, feeds us, and sends us on our way
TMO: 6 golden geese!
BOB: and yes, the Hill Giants looms over some of the lower trees.
Lisa: I just see one
BOB: One single lonely hill giant yes
TMO: He just needs a friend.
Yogurt: Careful Indigo, they can swallow you!
Bixi: Yout, I'm sure Indigo is well aware of what can or can not swallow him.
Lemon: How can a giggle be flawed?
TMO: He's just very bad at it
TMO: ah-hu-hu-hu-hu...
Session: 20220429s - 20220429c
Special Lemon edition part 2! Hopefully only a trilogy.
- We spend the first part of the evening trying to figure out what the deal with the avatar is. Is she double-crossing? Is she not who she says she is? Is she just a jerk? Who knows! This is elf stuff.
- We also spend some time re-covering old ground. The goddess sent us to steal something to prove we aren't thieves. Are we? Did we do a good thing? How many shades of gray do elves put in their novels? What exactly is this spider god? Who knows!
- Bixi tries to pass out but Lisa is like "oh noes, let's use our healy spells up first plz!" and BOB is a benevolent god who allows this retcon. Indigo gets some light healing, and Tiberius. Yogurt gets nothing because so far all he's done is run into a hallway full of bugbear rooms.
- Lorie reminds us that everything is always BOB's fault.
- We all kill time/sleep while waiting for Licornah to make a god call, because the other elves... maybe ate something that didn't agree with them.
- During the killing time phase we learn that despite spending weeks at Branwyn's estate, Yogurt is entirely unaware of her children. The dude is completely useless.
- Then we go back to trying to figure out what's up with this goddess telling us to go get this thing and what's up with her butthead avatar? We just keep going around in circles.
- TMO has a brief identity crisis.
- Bixi mistakes Licornah's desire to help out her friends as a translation for what the cat said, and thanks the cat.
- AND THEN SUDDENLY THERE IS THE FREAKING ELF GODDESS AND HER AVATAR EVEN THOUGH LEMON DEFINTIELY THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE SOME WALKING AROUND OR SOMETHING BEFORE THIS PART STARTED!
- Branwyn is the only non-elf who manages to not be frozen in time staring at the goddess, so she explains that we found the thing, and once the goddess sees it, she asks what rewards we want.
- Licornah is like, I want you to smite your butthead avatar. She withholds that she wants a pet unicorn, but maybe goddesses can read minds and she'll get one at the feast anyway!? (hint hint BOB).
- Goddess makes butthead avatar smush the drow chain, and then it seems like butthead avatar is no longer a butthead. She was just being possessed by spider gods or something. So goddess, again, is like "what you want yo?"
- Licornah is like "plz heal my friends. We don't want to waste spells anymore thank you."
- Branwyn is super nice and is like, oh man, totally not my place to ask you to give me anything, you're a freaking goddess, you know?
- Goddess invites us to a feast
- Bixi is WAY LESS SELFISH than anyone else and immediately starts figuring out what she should ask for and also how to get her own house near Branwyn's estate, since that seems to be home now.
Quotes of the Night
Lorie: I'm not 110% certain, but the elf that sent us on the mission is more than likely not the elf that we needed to send us on a mission.
TMO: ah, a faux-avatar?
TMO: fauvatar
Zayden: I have a thought, how about we say something we're grateful for, so we have a good nights sleep
Bixi: Ooooh, I like that
Zayden: Grateful to be out of prison and away from Giants
Bixi: I'm grateful that the giants didn't murder me or any of my friends, despite their best efforts
Tiberius: I am happy to be on an adventure with my wife who I love again
Bixi: ... did you stop loving her?
Branwyn: Love again??
Branwyn punches him in the arm lightly
Tiberius: Again! Adventuring again! I mean I have always loved you, but staying at home while you went away, not a big fan.
TMO: #1 - avatar definitely did not like us. goddess is the one that gave us the quest, so we can be fairly certain that we're not retrieving it for Lolth. If we're going with the avatar betrayal, I would say she was trying to intervene to keep us away from the goddess in the first place, but once Sehanine starts talking she shut up.
TMO: if the avatar is betraying, she did not want us to get the chain, but wanted it left there
TMO: IF
TMO: if the avatrar is just a Butthead, no betrayal is necessary.
TMO: or perhaps avatar merely wanted to cover up how she lost the stupid cloak in the first place
TMO: "What? NO! Of course I didn't get drunk and try to ride a manticore across the continent!"
BOB: so Avatar is betraying, Avatar is a buttehead, Avatar lost the cloak and is covering up.
Lemon: Avatar needs therapy
Lorie: Avatar doesn't know any better, she was raised that way - cruelty is love in her world
BOB: and so does Bixi or Licornah want to do any healing before leaving? and or have any spells prepared for the meeting? use any of the items from the party pack?
Lemon: And use up my spells before we even start???
Lisa: aren't we okay? we're not fighting the goddess are we?
TMO: Craigh can handle the goddess with one arm ... tied behind his back?
Lemon: I'm confused. If the avatar is a projection of the goddess, how did the avatar get corrupted and not the goddess?
Shislif: Hmm, maybe there was something wrong with the material she was projected on?
Lemon: Oh, if people aren't too tired, can we try to figure out what language TMO's talking hammer is speaking?
Lisa: Probably dwarvish and we missed giving it to the 7 dwarves :)
Lemon: It's not our fault they decided to peace out
TMO: When we get home Craigh can always cast Comprehend Languages to talk to the hammer
Shislif: Still not hammer time? :)
----
Session: 20220506s - 20220506c
The Lemony Three Peat Edition. The Lemon Hat Trick Edition. The Lemon FINAL edition.
- This Lilli-bane of our existence lady starts out being all like, "I thought you would be terrible but you were pretty ok. Why don't you just go out and like try to be the baddies?" And N'laea is all like, "We're just NOT baddies and if you were paying ANY ATTENTION AT ALL you would have seen me blind a giant with a really effing amazing shot, and what have YOU done lately, hmm?"
- Then she starts quizzing us about what we've learned, and like, I didn't know there would be a test? This feels like in grade school, when my friends got a question wrong, and the teacher forgot to mark it wrong, they'd go up and tell her, and she'd let them keep the point anyway for being honest, but when I did it, she fixed it and took off the point. WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'RE GETTING OUT OF THIS, LILLI-BANE OF MY EXISTENCE? Because I'm mostly getting "Stay away from dieties whenever possible, they are super annoying and think they're all that.
- She starts to ask us what we want, and then gets called away to the feast I guess, because it starts rather abruptly.
- So then she's all like, "Tell us a tale worthy of heroes and your reward will be relative to how good you are at this." And of course, we're EXTREMELY SKEPTICAL, because last time BOB promised us that, we ended up with Gogurt over here. But we tried anyway, because who knows, maybe this time he will give us something cool that DOESN'T hit on all the elves and run into bugbear compounds.
- Raelynn tells a really beautiful story, albeit maybe SLIGHTLY full of herself. No judgement, it seems like that's pretty called for, here. She does make an effort to talk up everyone else, too. The problem is that we are all also SLIGHTLY full of ourselves so...
- Talwin goes next and it's a very "Aw shucks, I'm just a really good guy doing stuff any other really good guy would have done!" kind of tale. Very humble-braggy. Basically perfect.
- Licornah makes a very touching toast.
- Bixi is basically like "quit underestimating me because I'm tiny. My botany rolls bring all the fire to the mold".
- Indigo is maybe slightly drunk, he gives a pretty basic account and then lets Craigh take over. Probably so he can go get more drinks.
- Craigh immediately makes a joke about his missing arm, because why waste this opportunity?
- Then finally comes the reward part. Lilli-bane is like "What do you want?" and N'laea is like "We're not sure how much is appropriate to ask for, you know?" And instead of giving us guidance, the L-bane just is like, "Fine, you get what you get."
- Bixi gets +5 Botany, which is AWESOME, but, kind of boring tbh. She was hoping for something a little more tangential to take back as a memory of this adventure.
- Indigo gets a potion of Heroism (I have no personal feelings about this)
- Craigh gets a rope of binding ( I can't wait to see what he does with it.)
- Branwyn gets a fire seed (Don't know what this is, but automatically jealous because it has seed in the title.)
- Talwin's giant sword shrinks. (Is this a reward? I didn't think men generally liked shrinkage?)
- Licornah gets a gold orb with a beating red heart in it. (Super creepy, but still very cool, looking forward to figuring that out.)
- Raelynn gets... the exact same cloak she already has? (Maybe Hell has frozen over and she will need a double cloak when we go there?)
- Yogurt gets a scroll but who cares
- Tiberius gets news that his mom is gonna stay in Olympus (More story incoming, we hope?)
- N'laea gets some random quiver (hoping it has some exciting secret to it because YAWN)
- Everyone enjoys the feast probably, but we skip to the morning, and we go back to the inn, AND OH MY GOD, HE KILLED GERRY!
Quotes of the Night
Indigo: But when we finished that then Craigh can tell what we did
Craigh: Well, as you can tell, I am the pinnacle of physical perfection, so once the rest of the team cornered the vile creatures, I quickly knocked them all unconscious with but a single punch!
